I DON'T CARE | Mimo + Dahmo

I'm a Quitter

I tried to forget Myoui Mina, but it was impossible. It was many weeks before I ever saw her again, but in the meantime, all I could do was think about her.

Jihyo's conversation with me over the phone kept replaying in my head.

"No matter who's your soulmate, it is not right to treat Dahyun like how you are. You need to make a choice Momo."

It just made my head ache.

"Hey Momoring..." Dahyun asked as she was curled in my arms. We were supposed to be watching a Japanese movie that I had recommended her, but I guess I had been distracted. I looked up to see the credits rolling without remembering any of the movie playing. "You seem really out of it these days. You don't talk to me anymore."

The now familiar feeling of raging guilt surged up from my stomach, and I felt like vomiting. All this time I had been thinking about someone else. All this time with Dahyun was a lie.

I hated myself.

I hated soulmates.

I hated Myoui Mina.

"Sorry Dahyun." I said to her as I kissed her forehead. "I'm just tired." I picked up the remote and turned the TV to a random channel in the hopes to distract myself from the impending thoughts of Mina. It was an idol TV show which brought back a rush of memories from all those years ago.

"Do you want to change it?" Dahyun asked me softly, knowing full well what these shows reminded me of. She slowly took the remote from my hand and was just about to change to something different when a sudden urgency came over me.

"WAIT NOT YET!" I yelled. Dahyun jumped in surprise. I don't know what made me do it, but I sat up suddenly and focused my full attention on the show.

It looked as if a female idol group was being created and it must have been one of the final episodes as they were ranking the girls for a live audience.

"First place is..." The host began and there was a long silence before the camera focused on a girl lined up on stage and the crowd went wild. "MYOUI MINA-SSI! CONGRATULATIONS!"

I felt angry as I looked at the face of my soulmate behind the screen. I felt angry and small.

"Wow." Dahyun whistled. "She's pretty." I shushed her as Mina began to make her acceptance speech.

She spoke in Korean. She must have been practicing really hard.

"I want to thank all the trainees who didn't get to debut today because they all worked so hard. I want to thank all the mentors and the viewers for giving me positive feedback and for ranking me as first place. But most of all," Her eyes were looking directly into the camera. Her eyes were looking directly into mine.

"Most of all, I want to thank Hirai Momo." Dahyun gasped beside me.

"What the fuck?" She was just as confused as the murmuring crowd.

"Shut up." I told her and continued to listen to what Mina had to say.

"Hirai-ssi doesn't know me, but I watched her on her TV show Sixteen back in 2015. Six years ago, at my home in Japan. I was so inspired that a Japanese girl would travel to Korea at such a young age, learn a new language and abandon her family just to pursue her dream. When she was eliminated, I was devastated. She was so talented and hardworking and everything she had worked for up until that moment was discarded in an instant. Unfortunately, she has given up. I've met her once and she's not following her dreams anymore. She let one failure control her whole life. I looked up to her so much, but she'd given up."

I felt so small.

"So, I wanted to prove to her that she's wrong when she says you should just give up. This journey isn't about rejection. Sure, I got rejected many a time on this show. I got hurt a lot and was disrespected by comments on the internet and by some people in this very room. But everything hateful, everything mean, and every rejection gave me strength." She wasn't talking for the show anymore. She was talking to me. She knew I was watching.

"Look at me now Hirai Momo." She said this in Japanese and I burst into tears.

Dahyun switched the TV off immediately and took me in her arms. I felt like my life was falling apart and I didn't know what to do.

"I'm such a dipshit." I murmured into her shoulder. "I'm a failure and a horrible, horrible person." She stroked my hair.

"You aren't."

"I just gave up. I didn't even wait to train some more and improve. I quit."

"Everybody quits once in a while."

"I haven't gone back to Japan in six years because I'm afraid to face my family."

"Momo, listen to me right now." She took my face in her hands and her thumbs wiped away my tears. Her eyes were squinted with worry and her brows were posed in such a way as to make her forehead wrinkled. "I don't care."

And that's all she needed to say to make me feel better.

A/N: Hi everyone. Sorry for taking a while to update. I had some stuff going on at school and unfortunately, that is my priority. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you think...

I CAN'T STOP OBSESSING OVER KILL THIS LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love 'Don't Know What To Do'. I think that's my favourite one. It's always those chord progressions that kill me.