No. Its not sexual. Lol.
I literally have NO CLUE what any of this is. So yeah, Warning for basically my whole book, I write these things for things I go through, or what people might go through. Rape, Sexual assault, being jumped, a lot of other things too!
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*Readers POV*
I don't know what's wrong... All I know is that I feel horrible. I feel dead. I feel like I'm suffocating. I hear a slow pair of Footsteps coming close but I don't even look up from the paper in front of me. It's just black. A dark penciled in paper, just colored with Pencil I told it curved up at the edges. I can see each individual stroke because of how hard the lead was pressed in. I see the light from the lamp reflecting on the Lead that has been placed on the paper. I see everything better when I'm like this. I notice everything. Hear everything. I hear Two-Bit laughing downstate, and Pony Taking a shower across the house. I hear dishes moving as Darry, or Soda, washs them. I see I just in the air as I stare at the Lamp. I hear those quiet footsteps again, they are coming closer, and I hear a aknock on the door.
"Y/N? Can I come in?" I can tell it's Johnny's voice instantly. I relax slightly, feeling my muscles let go of the slight tension that they held for no reason.
"Yeah, of course." I speak quietly, but I know it'll be loud enough for him to hear. He walks in his breathing the loudest thing in the room apart from his footsteps. I turn around slowly and smile at him. He smiles back and walks over putting his hand on my shoulder. I feel the hey of his hand seep into my very skin and I shudder slightly. Physical touch is always so... Vivid when I'm like this.
"Come on Sweetheart... It's alright. Let's lay down alright?" He ask softly, knowing that if he speaks a little too loud he'll make Me break. Make my hard armor break into millions of peices as I cry. He knows this. He's seen me like that before, backw hen my sister got hurt by the Soc's.
"Alright." I say getting up, he's pulling me over as I look at every aspect of him, memorizing ever Shape, and curve, and spare hair. Hoping I can keep this inage forever. He lays down and I go down to lay down on top of him feeling the heat from his body on mine. I put my head on his Chest, immediately hearing the soft thumping of Johnny's heart. I sigh contentedly finally feeling comfortable. Finally being able to listen to one thing, instead of hearing everything. I can no longer hear the Laugh of Two-Bit, or the slosh of water, or dishes clanking, I can only hear the beat of my lovers heart below me as he whispers sweet nothings in my ear.
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I literally have NO CLUE what she is going through, or why she feels this way. Some of this is based on me, and how I can notice a lot when I'm in a really depressive mood. But yeah. Sorry if it doesn't make that much Sense...
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