Relentless

26- Saige

The river was no different from the last time I was here years ago, though it was. You can never step into the same river twice as it continually flows, changes. As life does I suppose, it should, but the bank still remembered every painful memory. The ground beneath my feet called to me. The rocks mocked me, spitting them all back in my face at once.

    You have them fooled.

    I hardened my stare, clenching my fists to shut the voice out.

    But you can't fool yourself.

    I shook my head.

    You thought earning a ring would change you? Ha!

    "Stop it," I whispered.

    You're still the same weak and worthless girl as before.

    "I'm not."

    It was a dream, a lie. A stupid fantasy to make yourself feel better.

    I squeezed my eyes shut.

    Pathetic. Unwanted. Muck. Unloved. Scum.

    "No."

    Murderer.

    "No!"

    "Saige?" I spun around trying to remember how to breathe when I came face to face with the man I haven't had the nerve to talk to yet. "Are you alright?"

    "Y-yes, I'm just stressed."

    The Lieutenant wasn't convinced but continued anyway, "We haven't found anything. It would help if we knew what we were looking for."

    I sighed rubbing a hand over my face, "You and me both."

    "You're sure your dad didn't say anything else?"

    "All he said was go to the river and I would understand." I kicked a rock in the stream. "And all I've remembered are things I'd rather not remember. Maybe my dad was just delirious in his last hours."

    He studied me with narrowed eyes, "I don't believe that." My head shot up, not sure I heard him right. "Why is it every time I say something nice y'all look at me like I've grown another head?"

    "Because it's you, Lieu," Justin emerged from the trees, his signature, playful smirk on display.

    "One would think after taking a bullet for someone people would change their minds." His tone was more thoughtful than harsh, and I wondered if he was referring to Captain Kelly.

    "Keep up the good work, Monroe, " Justin patted his shoulder. "The world needs a man like you."

    The sunlight reflected off his hairless head as he shook it, "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."

    "Would I joke about that?" He turned away unfazed from Monroe's glare waving for me to walk with him. I followed grateful for the distraction, but that only lasted a minute. "Saige, we've been out here for four hours."

    "There's gotta be something. I can't go back empty-handed."

    "You think your father left you something?"

    "That's the only logical explanation I have left." A frustrated huff left me as I played with my new ring, "I have to figure this out. It's way past time I do."

    "We just don't have much to go on."

    "No one is more anxious than me, Justin."

    "Maybe you need to look at it from a different angle then." I was so lost in my turmoil I hadn't realized we caught up to the rest of the group. Silas leaned against a tree trunk with his arms crossed having heard the tail end of our conversation, golden eyes cutting to me in a know it all way. "Maybe you need to remember what you don't want to."