Chapter 22: The Letter

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When Sunday rolls around, Brian purposefully wakes up early and starts cuddling Melanie in bed. She stirs awake, smiling and whispers "someone's up early."

He takes a whiff of her hair then sighs out and answers "just thought maybe you'd want to go to church this morning. It's been awhile."

She turns her head slightly to look at him with tilted eyes. He shrugs and smirks and she replies "not really into it anymore. Yanno, used to be something me and my mom did together."

Brian nods, understanding why she would be hesitant to go back but he tries "we could start going together? I know I'm not much of a believer but I'd go with you."

She shakes her head "honestly, it's fine. Besides, how would we raise our kids up in the church if your not a believer."

"I told you" he explains again "I want them to have options and be open to believe whatever they want to believe."

"Well, that's fine but I don't want to go. I just want to stay in bed." She says, spooning closer to him.

"Alright, yeah. Just thought I'd see." He gives in, tightening his grip around her waist.

Everyone but the guys has work that afternoon prepping for Sal's punishment tomorrow. Murray and Brian confirmed the paint ball punishment and the sight crew got it signed off to film the following Monday. Although Melanie is Sal's assistant, she was tasked with stealing some of his favorite pairs of shoes for the show. All the assistants had it in their contract that they were expected to assist the show if necessary and could not be fired for it. Joe takes Sal out to lunch with Casey, giving her plenty of time to go to his house, swap out his favorite pairs she knows he never wears during filming season because he's too afraid to scuff them and takes them to the paintball arena. Meanwhile, Brian heads to Red Bank to film another episode of Tell 'em Steve-Dave. Although the filming goes well and none of his friends can tell, Brian is feeling off about the conversation he had with Melanie this morning. He feels guilty that she's no longer going to church and is worried her views are changing. It's not just her views on religion that worry him, what if she starts to change the way she feels about him too? Brian knows he pulls off looking confident on screen and and around people, but inside he struggles with anxiety. He knows if he doesn't work this out, it could lead to depression and no one wants to revisit that Brian Quinn again. As he's driving home that night he can't stop himself from thinking about Melanie's dad and what he must think about his daughter. Maybe the letter explains everything, about why he left, that he was just not ready to be a dad and didn't want to fuck her up. Maybe it explains that he was sick, and couldn't take care of her and himself. There are hundreds of reasons her father could have left them, and he has to know. He pulls over, taking the letter out of the glove box. He doesn't even hesitate with it and tears open the top, pulling the letter out and reading it.

My dearest Mel,

I can't believe you graduated high school today. I am so very proud of you. I wish I had the words to express just how proud of you I am. I was hoping you'd answer my previous letters but I understand why you haven't. I wasn't there for you and left you to grow up in an unstable environment. Your mother and I were very young when we got married and after what happened, we drifted a part. I never should have left you. I thought seeing you everyday would hurt too much but I learned that being away from you was far more painful. I know though, that by the time I realized that, it was too late and the damage was done. I pray you forgive your mother for keeping me away. She is only doing what she feels is best for you. I also pray you forgive me for listening to her. I know I missed far too many important milestones in your life to make up for it now but if you decide to forgive me, I am always here for you. This will be my last letter. I want you to have everything you've ever desired. If you feel your life is better without me in it, then it must be, and I have to accept that. Please keep your heart open my little snugbug, allow yourself to love and be loved. I wish nothing but success and happiness in your future.

Your Father,

Frank Devonshire

Brian reads the letter a dozen times. He has more questions now that he read it then answers. His foot is tapping uncontrollably fast on the floorboard of his jeep as he ponders what to do next. He opened the letter and there is no going back now. He can't just forget what he read. He can't just not tell Melanie what he said. But how would he do it? What did Frank mean when he said after what happened? Did Jane really keep him away? How did she do that? If he really wanted to be in her life, he had the right to be and he could have fought it. Brian knows he can't say anything yet to her and decides to try and figure this out on his own. Although he can't tell her, he needs to tell someone. He knows that if he talks to his friends they will all just try to guilt him into telling her he opened and read the letter. Brian can only think of one person to talk to, and luckily he has her number. He finds Caroline in his contacts and gives her a call.

"Hey Q, what's going on?" She answers "everything alright with Melanie?"

"I did a thing." He blurts out "I read the letter."

"You did what!?" She hollers, shocked and dismayed that he would do that. Her tone quickly changes and she asks "what did it say?"

He asks "what are you doing right now?"

"I'm home with my boyfriend." She replies "why?"

He asks "can I come over? You can read it. I'm kind of freaking out on what to do now." He tells her, happy to have told someone about what he did.

She agree's "I'll text you my address."

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