Foot steps haunt the decollate halls of the outpost. I lay limp on the ground despite every mental plea to stand, to search the compound for others, a radio, or a weapon. Shrill wind sweeps through the halls, over the carpet of the dead on the floor and the weeping concrete walls. I am consumed by the absence of life. Death, blood on my hands, lead in my heart. I am a coward.
Boots scrape the ground. The steady meandering shuffle, perhaps it's a skin walker. "Baby sister, what would think jasper of you now?" Heavy footsteps stop. A hand runs down my hair gently coaxing me to open my eyes. Dallas kneels in front of me, just as he was the day he left us. Dark hair groomed back with enough gel to stop a truck in its tracks, fatigues perfectly maintained and boots scuff free.
"The only thing he asked you to do was watch over little Mateo. But here you are laying in everyone else's blood and your giving up! Your a soldier Dakota, act like it!" Dallas shouts viciously rising to his feet each word pins me to the floor.
"No, I'm not!" I try to plea to give him some excuse to why I lay here on the floor but I can't. He doesn't stop.
"Who are you trying to convince Dakota?! I'm not here! Jasper isn't here! Mateo isn't here! Even your precious saviors aren't here! No one is coming to save you, no ones going to save a coward."
"Son of a bitch!" Cold words rip through the halls, tearing through the rising emptiness Dallas drove me into the ground with. The heavy footfalls aren't imaginary any more. Negan finally came.
A small surge of hope pulls my eyes open, the hall is bright, and loud. I close my eyes again. An unfamiliar aching for Negan go find me makes my stomach tight. I want to scream, I want to rise up and hug Negan. But more than anything I want to go home.
"Awe that's a shame." Negan stops beside me. Lucille is set down in front of my face, the barbs slick with crimson and gore.
I feel Negan's hand in the side of my head his gloved fingers brushing off the small dribbling stain of dried blood on my face.
"What the- Well hello there." Negans cool drawl tickles my cheek. His fingers slide away from my forehead and then onto my shoulders squeezing into the wound in my shoulder. I gasp as he hauls me up into a sitting position. Tears slide through me dried blood.
"Are you hurt? Can you move?" Negan asks looking at the blood on his glove.
I shake my head slowly. The spinning settling only slightly. "Just a scratch." I rasp hoarsely.
"Good. What the hell happened?!" Negan hauls me up by my bicep startling me.
I might have been tempted to jerk out of his grip if I wasn't so exhausted.
"Caught the whole compound with our pants down," I lean back against the wall, hoping the sooner I'm done explaining, the sooner I can go back to the sanctuary and see doctor Carson. "Said they were 'ere for hilltop. No one bothered to check their guns. They opened on us and we dropped like flies. So when I got shot, I pret- I passed out and they moved on. I thought I was dead."
I glance up at Negan staring at the hallway around us. Bodies, blood and bullet holes. Simon beside him gives me a studies look I glare back holding him in place. Hilltop are his people.
Negan drops a gloved hand onto my shoulder. "Well here you are standing pretty despite the gore around you."
I refrain from looking at the bodies, the people I spent a week dictating, shared a compound with. I stare at the gloves of dried blood on my hands, up my arms, on my feet. I've been painted red with lies. They died saviors, I died a coward.
"They see through you! You are a coward, you know what happens to cowards." Dallas stands behind Negan, mouth dripping black gore.
I look away, head down, Negan wraps an arm around my shoulders, fresh blood Oozes from my shoulder down my arm but it's nothing compared to the tightness in my chest.
"Let's get out of here." He guides me slowly through the compound, letting me see every body, every bullet hole, there weren't many but some of the people in the compound were young.
Dallas stands at every dark corner, looking worse with each turn, black with death. With my sins.
A small whimper escapes me as we reach the front of the compound. The wall of bodies that was the men and woman who believed in me, stood behind me. I killed them. This is on me.
Dallas sits on the back bumper of the large white box van, leaving a black puddle on the ground beneath him.
"It hurts doesn't it? To know you're one car ride away from your own death. What will little Mateo say when he finds out his guardian, his knight in shining armor is a sham. A Charlatan."
Another whimper makes me quiver. Negan says nothing as he climbs up into the truck and then offers a hand to help me inside. I sit beside Negan, across from Simon and Dallas.
Dallas leans on Simon, smearing black across his face. "He sees right through you, he can see the ugly mess beneath that pretty little skin you wear. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer..."
The truck rocks as we come up towards the sanctuary. My head strikes the side as we sway harshly. Negan laughs, turning to me. "Careful." I cant muster a retort.
He guides me out of the truck and up towards the compound, the rocky courtyard makes the short walk agonizingly long, up the galvanized metal stairs and into the compound across the dozen catwalks towards Negan's office.
Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer.
A single tear runs down my cheek, my chest strains against a heaviness pushing Walking towards us are three people, one girl looked familiar, the woman leaving negans room all those weeks ago that I had assumed was his wife. The other female did not, but they both wore matching dresses and heels. Spending time walking with mateo.
"Auntie DJ!" Mateo cries sprinting away from the two. I take a step foreword, bending down to scoop him up with one swift motion and twirl him around.
"I missed you." He whispers. I sniffle, pulling away from Mateo to look at his face. Jasper stares back at me.
"Your pathetic Dakota. I thought you were better than this."
I set Mateo down brushing his bangs out of his face. But I can't look into his eyes. I can't look at jasper.
"Hey kid. I gotta steal your aunt for a minute, why don't you come back in a bit." Negan smiles to Mateo and then to the women with him.
Mateo nods squeezing me one last time. "Love you auntie D."
"I love you too." I whisper before slinking into Negan's office.
The door closes behind me with condemning click.
"So... Dakota. Time to tell me what really happened."
YOU ARE READING
Shattered sights ( temporarily on hold)
Fanfiction"Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I don't think I got you're name." "Because I didn't tell ya my name," When survival is no longer living its time to take back their world from the dead. Can they do it together or is being so similar to each other more toxic...
