Shattered sights ( temporarily on hold)

Now would be a good time to not be an a**hole

"So... Dakota. Time to tell me what really happened."

That sickening feeling when your stomach swan dives to your toes is enough to make you want to vomit. When Lucille rips your lungs from your chest cavity, it feels like that one time you get dared to jump into the swimming hole in January, when your legs don't work and you can't tell which way is up while you count the second before you start to drown.

I quiver frozen in place beside the door to Negan's office. My voice whispers off my lips. A dying noise that ties a noose around my neck.

"Sit down Dakota." Negan gestures sweetly to the couch. Dallas sits beside Negan, leaving oily black pools on the floor.

I stare at the leather couch, my brain incapable of understanding motor functions.

"Sit down!" Negan demands.

My knees take this as an open invitation and I fall. Butt first to the ground. A desperate sob escaping me.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I burry my face into my knees. "I'm a coward, I know! I know, you won't let me forget!"

I reach up to clamp hold my head but my hands drip black. Down my arms, towards my face. The same black that is drowning Dallas beside Negan.

I scrape at my arms. Watching the gore squilsh on the floor but it doesn't come off my skin. "Get it off! Get it off! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my fault!"

Negan kneels in front of me, grasping my hands, soaking his gloves in black.

"Dakota, knock it off!" He orders.

I shake my head. "I told you! I told you the truth. They came from hilltop, they told us they had the supplies. They lied!  It was too late, it happened so fast! I got shot, and I was just a sittin' duck. I faked it. That doesn't make me a coward! It was survival! It was survival Negan you have to believe me!" The pathetic wail of pant pissing terror leaves me on the dark floor of his office, the walls pressing in around me, dripping black with horror.

Dallas grabs my chin, nails digging into my jaw. "Remember it Dakota. Never forget it. You are a coward. You are a sham. A fake. That's all you've ever been since the day you were born. You are nothing."

"I am! I know! Just leave me alone!"

Negan is holding my jaw, his whiskey eyes burning with annoyance and frustration. "Dakota. Shut up! I just wanted to know what happened. I want to know who these men are, and I want to know which one put a bullet through that little shoulder of yours. That's all I wanna know."

I sniffle back tears. Pulling away from his gloved hand to wipe my face with my good arm. "Arrow actually." I mutter into my knees.

Negan smiles softly lightening the darkness in his eyes. "There she is." Negan helps me up. Setting me on the couch before sitting himself down across from me.

I take a deep breath, looking anywhere but at Dallas, lounged on the arm rest beside me. His oily fingers running through my hair leaving stringy strands on my shoulder.

"And they held up this head, this decomposing, face that was meant to look like Gregory. I knew it wasn't but that's when I saw their guns." A knock echos off the office door.

Negan leans back in his seat. Glancing at me just once. I cower farther into the couch, scuffling away from dallas' reach. He slides closer.

"What?!" Negan booms.

Simon leans through the door. "Hey boss. Dr. Carson said he was gonna be here in a sec but I just wanted to pop in. Dakota mentioned that it was hilltop's people. But hilltop wouldn't try, they don't have the numbers to do something like this." Simon defends his town.