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4. Nil?

Mina.

Nil and I decided to meet up at the café as it was near and it actually was both of our favourite café. It was a cute one, with a vintage type of feeling to it. It was quite obvious that light pink was a favourite colour of the owner as the whole café was light pink. The owners of the café were really nice, kind,  old couple. I became close with them ever since  I started coming here after uni to get a drink.

I got inside the café and tried to find Nil. The café is small itself but it's enough for at least more than 10 people so finding Nil shouldn't have been that hard! But I was wrong.

I couldn't find that girl anywhere. I looked to my left. Not there. To my right. I looked to my right and left more than enough times. Nearly broke my neck too. Until I see a pretty girl coming out from the back of the till towards me.
What on Earth was she doing there?

"Nil, I have been looking for you everywhere! And where the hell were you and what the frick were you doing there?"
"MINA! Oh my, I missed you so much!" She said or more like yelled.
This girl is an embarrassment.

She screams out and comes running to give me a hug. Luckily, not a lot of people were around as it was Sunday morning and a lot of people must have  been at home. 

I returned the hug back to Nil and if I had to be honest, I missed this. I missed Nil. I missed her loudness, her laughter, her hugs, her randomness and I blocked myself from meeting up with her and my other friends. I blocked my self from my family, thinking that they wanted me to get away from them so they arranged me so I can be away from them.

But all they wanted was good for me. Yet I still blocked myself.

"I missed you too girl." I looked at her and gave her a little peck on her cheek.

I used to always treat her like a little sister as I was a few months older than her.

"Anyways how are you? How have you been?"

We settle down on the table that's the nearest to us.

"I'm good, but I missed you. Like a lot. Like I felt as if I was missing something and it feels like it's been 3 years instead of months of me not seeing you." She said quietly.

The way Nil explained to me how she felt like, shows how much I have made an impact on not only myself but the people that are close to me. I felt sorry for her. She has never said anything like this to me. I felt guilty.

"I'm sorry Nil. This may sound dumb but ever since I got married... I don't know why but I just cut everyone off for a few days. That then turned into months and you don't know how much of an impact it has had on me.
Ales barely talks to me, yet I still feel attracted to him. I want this to stop you know! The attraction but I can't help it. I care for him whereas he doesn't. I cook for him, I iron his clothes. I have basically done everything the maids used to do until they left." I said while rolling my eyes and sighed while looking at my hands. I couldn't look at her because I felt stupid.

I didn't need to block her and my family off just because of Ales.

"But I know, he doesn't care. He doesn't care about me. He hates me. He wants me out of his life. If he really wants a divorce then, I don't mind signing it but he hasn't brought papers or brought up anything related to it.
Do you see how confused I am Nil? I don't know what to do with my life..." I finished off.

I looked at Nil only to see her looking at me with sadness.

"I have never seen a Mina like this one. This son of a bitch really thinks he can break my girl like this! Hell no! He needs a word with me." She stood up, getting ready to go.

I forgot how she can get so angry and defensive. Another reason why I chose her as my best girlfriend.

"Nil calm down, don't worry!" I tried to laugh it off.

"Listen. I decided that if he doesn't care about shit then, cool, because I'm going to do the same. I don't care about him anymore. I'm just going to keep up with my own crap instead of his." I smiled at her, but she still didn't buy it. So I decided to change the whole topic.

"C'mon, let's order a drink."

After ordering our drinks, we tried to fill each other in on what has happened in the past few months of our lives.

"Oh yeah and what the hell were you doing at the back?" I reminded her. I mean what was she actually doing there.

I swear, you're not allowed to go there?

"Well, girl got a little hungry so I asked what they had and then believe it or not, I got asked if I was your sister again. I said yes we are, so the cute old lady told me to follow her and she gave me some fantastic pastries." I laughed at her stupidness.

Nil has always been the type of girl that can eat a lot but still will stay the same. She doesn't gain so much weight and has always been a slim girl since young whereas I have to take care because my metabolism has slowed down for real.

Nil and I have quite a lot of similarities. We both have big, brown eyes and both have dark brown hair except hers is silky straight whereas mine is all wavey with curls here and there. Because she's a lot more slimmer than me, she looks taller than me, thanks to her long legs even though I'm still a few inches taller than her.

"So how are you with Alex?"

Alex is Nil's long time partner and they are probably the most cutest couple ever. A bit of cheesiness can be found between them here and there but I guess it makes their relationship stronger.
At the moment she's engaged to him but she's lucky because at least she's with someone she knows and loves.

"Umm he's well.. I mean we're both doing well." She said it but in an unsure way.

It made me curious as to why she said it like that because Nil doesn't reply so... unsure?

"What do you mean? Is everything okay?"
She didn't say anything for a few seconds, diverting her eyes from mine to the floor, to her hands, to her lap.

"Umm, how can I put this..." she said to herself.
I mean, what could have happened between them two!

For some reason I got nervous for her.
"Well, I uhh... I feel like he doesn't like me anymore. I don't know maybe I'm overreacting? But I'm always unsure about him nowadays.

He started working at this new office and he keeps coming home late and leaves work early... I don't know, I'm just not used to it so it seems like to me he doesn't want to stay with me and tries to avoid me at all times."

I look at Nil and started smiling at her.
"This just shows how much you love him, you know. Listen, this job of his, seems kind of tiring to him, so maybe you should try and talk to him, relax him and don't shut him off. He's probably tired and I know for sure that Alex wouldn't do such thing to you."

Why can I give good advice to my friends but not to myself ?

Nil looked at me and stood up to give me a hug.
"This is why your my girl!"

Durranim

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