Trophy Daughter

Chapter 25- You Know Nothing, Jon Snow

I hate bitches who are like 'this doesn't make sense bc the encyclopedia of.....'

and i'm like....ur on wattpad hoe. nothing makes sense. 

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"Like...in a romantic way?"

An exasperated look came onto Barnabas's face and he dragged a hand down it. My mind was spinning, going so many directions at once. This beautiful boy wanted me and him to be an us? 

"Yes Circe. In a romantic way."

Holy motherfucking shitballs. Is it weird I almost threw up in my mouth? Not in a disgusted way, but in a holy motherfucking shitballs way? Barnabas stared at me, his hands still on my knees. I glanced down and admired them, so perfect, so artistic, so just...Barnabas. 

I scratched my head and wondered. I liked Barnabas, of course, but...I didn't really see us as a couple you know? Sure, there was some- if not a lot-chemistry, but what could actually happen with us? He lived in a different town, was most likely going to a different college and definitely would find it easier to be with a different girl. 

"I don't know Barny-boy. I really don't know."

A look passed over his face so quickly I almost didn't get to see what it was. Longing? He sighed, falling back on his butt and sitting as he stared up at me. 

"How do you feel about me C?" 

A smile immediately bubbled up on my face as soon as the word Barnabas popped up in my head. He was such a good dude- a player, a dick and an asshole- but overall a kind of good dude. I liked when he texted me and when he was around. Even our redundant tutoring sessions had probably been the most fun I had had in a long while. 

"You're a great person Barny. And I do really like you...it's just, where would we go?"

He furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

I shrugged, feeling my hands get sweaty. As soon as emotions were involved and I had to start thinking seriously, my hands got super sweaty. 

"Well, I'm here. You're in another town and will probably go to a different college. I'm pretty sure we both want different things."

He scoffed, leaning forward again with a glint in his green eyes. 

"I'm only in another town for at least two weeks. I got into the Leadership and Business Programme here, so I'll be moving."

I blinked. Only Barnabas. I had forgotten that our semester was nearly over, since everything was moving so fast. A new intake would be coming in and that meant I was no longer so fresh. 

He cocked his head to the side, reiterating what I had said before. "And what do you mean about wanting different things?"

A small, nervous smile found its way on my face. 

"Well, I've seen the type of girl you've been with. And i'm not that. As in, easy to be with. I piss off too many people but I also love a lot of people. I don't think I can...commit to one person right now. Not when I'm still trying to commit to myself."

Barnabas sat still, narrowing his eyes as he thought. All that I said had been the truth. It would be nice to have committed dick and cuddles, but I could get that from a dildo and a pillow. Having someone else's life entwined with my own right now would just make everything messy. And I was born a messy bitch from an even messier biological family. If we were being honest, my adoptive family too. 

Whew. 

He nodded, agreeing with me. 

"Very fair. Very, very fair."