My Very Own Barry

Chapter 11

Catco

I haven't been able to focus on my work at all. We had a staff meeting in the morning, but I barely paid attention to what James was talking about. Afterwards I went to my work table and read over my assignment multiple times, I couldn't get past the first sentence before getting off track and thinking of something else. That something else being Barry's behavior earlier.

He didn't look all to happy in the morning when we were eating breakfast, I'm pretty sure it was something I said. He looked upset, but I couldn't figure out why. I just wanted to talk to him.

Rao must have been listening to my prayers because I as I was thinking about Barry in my mind, he magically showed up... and with food, "Barry!? What are you doing here?"

I ran over to him, well the best I could do in my heels, and greeted him. He gave me a smile and rose the greasy paper bag up to my eye level, "Brought you lunch. I hope that is ok, am I not allowed here?"

I could help but giggle at his worried expression. He had this look of fear as if some sort of security guys were going to come in and throw him out, "Yes. Yes you are always welcomed here Barry. Welcome to Catco."

"Ok good." Barry let out a breath of relief, "This place is really nice. I like the view."

I giggled as I watched Barry's head turn in all directions in an attempt to take it all in, "Yeah it is. Is that for me?"

"Yeah. I was hoping we could eat lunch together." Barry said with his eyes full of hope.

I couldn't help but smile. She can't remember the last time someone brought her lunch, he was so sweet, "I would love to have lunch with you Barry. Hold up."

I walked over to James's office and peeked my head in, "Hey James, Barry is here, can I go on my lunch break a little bit earlier today?"

James looked up from his work and gave her a smile, "Sure. Just be back in an hour."

"Thanks James." Man it rules having the C.E.O as one of your close friends, "Lets go to my desk Barry."

Barry and I sat at my desk and enjoyed our burgers.

"So Barry. What did you do while I've been away?" I was curious to hear what his day was like.

"Oh nothing much. Just tidied up your apartment, caught up on world events from over the past six months, went to the D.E.O, talked with J'onn and Winn for a little, passed by the NCPD and applied for a position as a CSI, and got you lunch." Barry answered.

"Wow." How is he so productive, it wasn't even noon yet, "How did it go at the NCPD?"

"I got the job. I start tomorrow." Barry answered casually.

"Really? That fast. You barely returned to the world a day ago and you already have a job. How did you do it?"

"J'onn called in a favor at the NCPD, got them to give me the job and even convinced them not to do any background checks on my past work at the CCPD."

"That sounds illegal."

"Oh it is." Barry laughed, "What about you? What have you done today?"

"Uhm?" I looked at my blank screen and wondered what I could possibly respond with. I haven't done anything, "You know, the usually reporter stuff."

Barry laughed at me, he knew I was lying, "Yeah ok sure."

"Shut up. I've had something on my mind, I can't focus on anything else."

"What's on your mind?" Barry asked me, I could see he wanted to help me.

I debated in my head whether I should confront him about his strange behavior in the morning or not. I eventually decided I would, so that maybe I can finally get myself back to work, "You remember in the morning when we were having breakfast? You got every depressed in the middle of our conversation and I was wondering if I may had done something that caused that?"

Barry's face returned back to the same expression he had in the morning. He thought for a moment and eventually decided to tell me, "It's nothing bad that you did, it's just that you..."

Barry wasn't finishing his statement. He looked like he was struggling to tell me, "What? What did I do Barry?"

I placed my hand on top of his and looked him in the eyes, I wanted him to be comfortable with me, "You can tell me Barry."

Barry let out a deep sigh and finally finished his sentence, "I don't want to sound selfish or anything, but I just can't help feeling like I'm not good enough. Like no matter what I do, I'm always going to end up being second place because I'm not the original."

I looked at Barry, he looked hurt, but I don't understand why, "Why? Why do you feel like this?"

Barry looked at me and I immediately understood that I was that reason, "You kinda make me feel like this Kara... All you do is talk about my Earth 1 counterpart. You keep comparing me to him, but by doing that you make me feel like a ripoff version of him. I don't feel like I can ever be my own individual. I feel like I'm always going to be in his shadow my entire life. How can I compete with him? How can I compete with The Flash, the man who saved his entire world twice. This other Barry, the one that everyone talks about, I can't reach his level, I can't ever be him. He set the bar up so high, and now I feel like no matter how hard I try, I will always come short to him. Kara... this other version of me has done so many great things, that I constantly feel like I am not living up my full potential. I'll never be happy with myself, when I know that there is another man out there that is much better than me at being me."

I noticed that a tear escaped his eye, he wanted to cry, and so did I. How can I have done this to him, I hurt him. He was right, I did talk about Earth 1 Barry a lot. I didn't notice until he said it to me. I was a horrible person, I made him feel like he wasn't the version I wanted. Rao what have I done? What could I possibly say to him to make this up, "I... Barry... Look-"

"You know Kara, I forgot I had something planned with Winn back at the D.E.O. I'll see you at back at your apartment later ok." Barry cut me off. He stood up and wiped away his tear. He grabbed his food and walked away towards the elevator. He never once stopped to look back at me. I wanted to yell at him, to run at him and stop him from leaving me, but I didn't. He was hurt, and the best thing I could do at the moment was to let him get as far away from the thing that hurt him as possible... away from me.

Man this has to be the worst lunch break I ever had. 

So that is Chapter 11. I'm so so sorry for not updating yesterday. I had a lot on my plate and I just couldn't find the time. I'm sorry for all those that were looking forward to one yesterday. This talk was bound to happen, you all now that. I know it's a short chapter, but that is because I just wanted to focus mainly on Barry's problem. Anyway most likely going to post another chapter tomorrow, and don't forget to follow me so that you can get notification about possible new stories or changes. Please leave a comment and tell me what you guys think.