He's Evil, But I Can't Stay Away (Alejandro Total Drama World Tour)

He's Evil, But I Can't Stay Away: The Ex-Files

[Restroom Confessional:

Sierra: Gwen and Duncan? Duh. But boyfriend stealing's wrong! She's gone.

***

Heather: ...tension! And it has nothing to do with me. I have never felt so safe. Thanks, Gwen.

***

Courtney: Daaahgh! Gwen is going down! I can't believe I ever trusted that sun fearing, emo loving, liar! Well at least I broke up with Duncan on my terms. It was totally empowering.]

*Flashback*

We were all in the common area watching Duncan who had a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs on his head and an icepack on his left eye and Courtney who was on her back, throwing a tantrum.

"Look, I'm sorry," Duncan said right before receiving a kick in the kiwis from Courtney.

*End flashback*

[Restroom Confessional:

Courtney: At least I still have my...pride. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH-HAA-HAA-HAA-HAA!]

***

"I'm serious," Tyler said to Al and Owen, "the guy's a jerk with a capital 'G'. I'd never cheat on my Lindsay the way he hurt Courtney. He deserved two kicks to the-"

"Ahem," Owen interrupted, "permission to speak freely? You know...athlete to athlete?" He held up a severely dented medal.

"What happened to your medal?" Tyler asked.

"Heh? Oh, well, I ate the chocolate, so good. Then, refilled it with peanuts, ate those, refilled it with foam packing peanuts, ate those, puked up a painful white cloud and didn't refill it, aheh. Jock talk aside, the way I see it, Duncan is a double gold medalist in the Total Drama Babe Olympics."

"There's a Babe Olympics?" Tyler asked in disbelief.

"There is not," I stated, hoping to shut this conversation down with no luck.

"Well Duncan is the only guy in TD history to score two hotties."

"Courtney and Gwen?" Tyler asked, counting on his fingers. "Punk's got mojo."

***

[Restroom Confessional:

Alejandro: Problem: Duncan is a strong player. Solution: Courtney is volatile. She'll throw the Amazons off their game and Duncan off his game, too. All she needs is a little push.]

***

"Attention potential crash victims: Please remain calm. Our auto-pilot is testing some equipment. Snacks in the common area if you don't believe me and want a last meal," Chis announced over the PA while some kind of alarm went off.

We went to the common area and saw a bowl of fruit on the table. Owen picked up a bunch of bananas.

"You call these snacks? We're all gonna di-i-ie!" he cried, eating the bunch, peel and all.

"Looking especially pasty this morning," Duncan said to Gwen, finally joining us.

"That means so much coming from a Cyclopes," Gwen replied.

"Ugh!"

"Unbelievable! Forgive me, I'm simply offended on your behave. Perhaps a little payback is in order. How would Duncan like it if you flirted with someone?"

Courtney looked over at Tyler who mashed a banana in his eye, missing his mouth completely. "Aw man."

[Restroom Confessional: