Crashing Hard

Leaving ~4

Trigger warning this book does contain event, words, and thoughts that can be triggering. It also has sexual events and talked about r*pe and su**idal events.
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When I woke up Iz was still sleeping beside me. I sighed and looked at my phone. 30 missed calls 90 text messages and 10 voicemails all from him. After everything that's happened I really didn't need him bothering me too. I clicked on his text messages, they were all pretty much the same.

12:00
Where are you?
Where did you take my son?
Come back
I'm gonna find you
Are you at your mom's?
ANSWER ME
ILIZA
I'm going to call you
I'm looking for you
ILIZA
You better fucking come back
Just wait till I find you
I'll change. I'll stop hitting you and drinking
Maybe if you would have just listened to me it wouldn't have happened

There were more but I didn't want to read them. I deleted our text messages and his voicemails. Why is he always like this I can never get away from him. I'm going to be running from him for the rest of my life. This is never going to end. I thought back to the day I left.

FLASH BACK
I look up at him, he was obviously drunk. I was on the floor scared, crying, and praying he would leave me alone.

"S-stop"

"Shut the fuck up. When I tell you to do something you better do it"

"I'm sorry"

He was kicking me in my stomach, I tried to cover my stomach. I was almost 3 months pregnant and I didn't want to lose the baby. I was going to tell him the news but when I got home he started yelling about random stuff.

"P-please please stop. God help me"

"God can't help you no one can. No one can hear you, no one cares."

He continued to beat me until he got tired and went to the couch to sleep. I slowly got off the floor holding my stomach. I limped to my room and started packing I was so tired of this all the time. I tried to call the police on him once and he told me he would take Iz away from me. I also tried to leave but he found me and brought me back to beat me in front of Iz. After I packed my clothes I started packing Iz's. I took everything I could fit into my truck. I left to a hotel until all my visible bruises had gone away and I could cover them up with makeup. He would call and text me every few minutes but I never  answered. My parents live in Arizona which is a 5 hour drive. I called my mom and asked her if I could stay with her for a few days and she said yes.

I was scared he would find me again. I never told anyone about what he did because I was scared of what he would do. After a few days I drove to my parent's house and that's were I've been staying for about a month.

I did go to the doctor about my pregnancy and I did have a miscarriage. That was the hardest thing for me, he took the only thing I cared about. A second child, the baby even though I didn't know him or her I still loved her or him . Children were my escape from him they were so carefree and happy. If people knew they would probably ask why I would want kids from him, but they didn't know him before. He was so sweet and nice and loving. He had never once put his hands on me. He was so happy when I told him I was pregnant with Iz. I don't know what changed but it started a year after Iz was born. He started saying that Iz wasn't his child and accused me of cheating on him, saying I only spent time taking care of Iz and never paying attention to him. It hurt me to hear him say these things but it was almost like he was jealous that I spent a lot of time with Iz.

I never regret leaving. I do regret not leaving sooner maybe then I would still have my baby.

Flash Forward

I shook my head trying to get rid of the thoughts. I don't need him. I got up and got dressed for work. I walked up the stairs and talked to my mom about Iz. When was done I walked to the kitchen to get Iz's medicine and food ready. After that I left to work the drive wasn't that long. I had 2 jobs my main job as a model for small companies and my side job twitch . I had a big following on Twitch almost 2 million subscribers. I sometimes I'm away at work all day but today I wasn't really feeling like working today and only did a few photoshoots. When I got home it was about 4 PM and Iz must have just gone to sleep. I would have a few hours to myself. I decided to finally talk to Jong about the damages.

I knocked on the room door and no one answered. I walked upstairs to my parent's room.

"어머니 (mother)  where is Jong and Eric?"

"I think they are in the game room"

"Okay I'll go look"

I walked down the hall into the game room and they were laying on the floor playing Call Of Duty Black Ops 3.

"Jong"

He turned around and then quit the game. He stood up and walked up to me.

"Yes"

"Would you rather me buy you a new bike or do you want to just fix the one you have"

"Just fix it"

" Okay do you know how much everything is going to cost?"

"About 15000"

" Okay just tell me when you go buy the parts or go take it to the shop or whatever I'll go with you and pay for it"

He shook his head in understanding and walked back to the game. I stood there watching them play for a while then left. I went down stairs to shower and get ready to eat dinner. Iz was up by now and was coloring in his color book. At 7 we all sat down and ate dinner talking to each other about different things. After dinner I took a shower and gave Iz a bath. We got dressed and around 9pm finally went to sleep.
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~boop boo you need to stop.
I'm finally going back home to Bakersfield from Arizona. It was a fun week with my family.
~
~question of the day: what do you like to do on vacation.
~ answer:sleep, ride horses, take care of my animals, and ride quads