Crashing Hard

Moving Up and Out ~7

Trigger warning this book does contain event, words, and thoughts that can be triggering. It also has sexual events and talked about r*pe and su**idal events.
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Today's the day... We are all leaving on a 7 hour journey back to Bakersfield. I'm not going to lie I'm extremely nervous. The thought of going back is exciting yet scary. Everything I brought is in my truck and Jong's bike is strapped to the bed of my truck. Eric is going to ride his motorcycle most of the way down then join us in the truck. I'm saying goodbye to my mom and dad holding onto them like it's going to be my last time.

It will be my last time if he finds me.

Eric starts up his bike and I start my truck. Iz is sitting in his carseat playing with some of his action figures. As we start to drive on the highway my favorite song pours out of the speakers. I sing along quietly and so does Iz. This song always made me think of Him but I still loved the song regardless.

사랑을 선물했더니
이별을 주려 하다니
이런 사람이었니
너 왜 이렇게 못됐니
나만 사랑한다면서
우리사랑 모두 거짓말이니
니가 내게 이럴 줄 몰랐어

여자의 마음을 왜 이렇게 모르니
정말 알다가도 모르는
남자들의 마음을 도대체 알 수가 없어

너는 내 남자이니까
니가 내 사랑이니까
다 미안해 다 이해해 헤어지지 말자
밤 늦도록 술 마신다고
담배 좀 그만 피라고
귀찮은 잔소리도 하지 않을게
미워도 사랑하니까

To my surprise Jong started singing along too. I turned to look at him.

"You speak Korean?" I asked wide-eyed.

"yeah, you didn't know."

"No"

He smiled, for the first time I know I'm not seeing things, he's really smiling. His teeth were so white and straight and beautiful.

"You should smile more often"

He turned to me. His smile fading slowly.

"You should tell the truth more." He said his smile returning to his face. I was taken aback. He was so bold about it jeez.

"Yeah I should. Shouldn't I" whatever smile I had was gone. I turned up the music and "Let me Out" by Jonghyun was playing. I focused on the road and stopped talking.

We had been driving for around 4 hours and Eric finally decided to join us in the truck. After he strapped his bike up then got into the passenger seat as I got into the back seat. Jong was driving the rest of the was. It was 9am now and I was ready to just be home. I got on my phone and confirmed an appointment made to buy a house in Bakersfield. I already knew I was going to buy it but the realtor insisted I still look at it then pay for it. Just incase I find something wrong with the house. Even if there was something wrong I didn't care I just needed a place to stay for now. The house was beautiful and the backyard was huge with a pool in the back and a few smaller ponds. It had 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. 1 bathroom attached to my room then 2 around the house.

Eric got tired of hearing my music so I put some headphones in and closed my eyes. Iz was already asleep in his carseat, I knew he was going to be confused but he'll be excited when he sees the new house. I had already bought furniture for the house and it was supposed to arrive at the house 2 hours after we got there. All electric power sources would be coming tomorrow. I kept thinking about what Jong said earlier and he was right I should tell the truth to everyone. I was just scared how they would react how everyone would react. Would they be mad I kept this from them for so long? There were so many different factors to think about.