Psychopaths Can't Love

Keeping Secrets

A/N: I've been super productive lately. I'm going to publish another part over the weekend. Not that you guys care. Anyways.

Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse, depression, homophobia, and sexual content (not exactly smut but I'll put a warning)

Sorry y'all.

-Leah

Seb tried to sit up, but the soldier above him kicked him in the ribs,
throwing him onto his back again.

The soldier smiled wickedly, showing every one of his yellow teeth. He bent over closer to Seb's face. Seb could smell his rancid breath. He said something foreign in a low, dark voice.

Seb didn't need to know what he was saying to get the message. He was going to be killed like a turtle on its back, helpless to defend himself.

"Please..." Seb breathed, shifting underneath the man's stiff boot. "Don't... kill me... please..."

The soldier only laughed at his plea, pushing down harder on Seb's already-broken ribs.

"Sebastian!"

Seb opened his eyes and found himself laying on his side, looking at the ceiling, but the dream didn't die yet. He knew what happened next, and it played out slowly in his head.

"Bastian, are you okay?"

Seb glanced over to see the dark outline of Jim's face. His eyes shone with worry.
Seb didn't say anything.

"Seb, answer me."

Seb stared at Jim's face as his eyes adjusted, trying to see his expression.

"You're scaring me now."

Seb's breathing began to die down, slowing into a more relaxed rhythm.

"Seb, please."

Seb suddenly realized that he could be honest with Jim anytime he wanted. Sure, he'd had nightmares that had woken up his past girlfriends before, but they'd never done anything to help him. He'd just tried not to wake them up as well. When he was with them, he was supposed to be the great Sebastian Moran, the knight in shining armor, sweeping them off their feet and never needing anything in return. He couldn't show how scared he truly was around them. But Jim already knew. He must be a light sleeper.

Seb scooted closer to Jim, wrapping his arms around Jim's waist. He nuzzled his face into the crook of Jim's neck as his breathing began to settle down.
Jim didn't hesitate in returning the hug. He rubbed Seb's back softly.

"You okay?" Jim asked, the panic in his voice going away instantly.

"I don't know," Seb whispered into Jim's neck.

"Sh, go back to sleep, Bastian," Jim whispered, kissing the top of Seb's head.

"I'm scared."

Seb hadn't said it on purpose. It had just slipped out.

"Sh, Sebby, it's okay," Jim whispered.

"I..." Seb stuttered, not sure what to say.

"It's not real, love," Jim assured him, rubbing his back again.

"It was once."

Jim didn't reply, but he kissed the crown of Seb's head again.

"Go to sleep, tiger," Jim whispered.

Seb shut his eyes, his eyelashes brushing Jim's neck. Jim stopped rubbing Seb's back and put his chin over Seb's head.

Seb could feel Jim breathing, his chest moving evenly against his every few seconds at a steady, slow rhythm. No wonder it was so much easier for Seb to sleep with him there.