Remember the times

Chapter 14

The uncomfortable silence grew louder,Jungkook's gaze never left Namjoon and Namjoon's head had dropped,staring intently at the floor.Everyone could hear Jungkook's ragged breaths. It seemed like he had a hard time deciding whether to be angry or to burst out crying.Why was it kept a secret from him? Was he the only one to not know?

"why?!",He found his voice again and Yoongi send him a glare asking him to stop.Yes,Yoongi wanted to know too,but not like this.Not this way.It hurted him to see them like this,so he said in a soft voice,"Jungkook,calm down".But that only made Jungkook more mad,How can someone calm down,when he was left to feel like he never even mattered.Namjoon stood up and faced Jungkook.He put his hand on the younger's shoulders,still debating what to tell him.He looked at the boy,no..man infront of him.The little boy who used to walk around him,admire him.The one with curious eyes and bunny smile.Namjoon couldn't find that boy in the man who stood infront of him.He was stiff,his face indifferent.

Bangshihyuk didn't intervene as his mind wandered off to that day,he knows what had happened,that treacherous night he woke up from a  buzzing phone to hear Namjoon's heavy breaths.
He snapped back to reality as Namjoon spoke,"Jungkookah,there are certain things,things that might hurt you.And if I have kept anything away from you,It was only for your good.."

It didn't satisfy Jungkook,that was evident on his face as it set to a frown.He shrugged off Namjoon's hand and said,his voice hurt,"You know what hurts more,hyung? That people I thought I knew are not the same ,What all false pretences did you press on me? ..am sorry",He turned around at Bangshihyuk Pdnim and bowed.He didn't wait for any responses from his hyungs as he grabbed his coat and stepped out to the chilling night.Jin stood up abruptly,apologized quickly and ran after Jungkook.Namjoon pressed his hand against his head,trying to make sense of what had happened.

The rain was pouring heavily,Jin pulled up his hoodie over his head and bowed against the rain as his eyes travelled the streets.Everyone were busy on their feet trying to find a shelter or rushing past.Jin felt like he was going in rounds,he lost his patience as he screamed into the rain,"Jungkookah".
Jungkook's phone kept ringing but he wasn't picking up.Past the convenience store,two blocks left.Jin knew this place,there was a park they used to hang out while in Busan.Yes,that's where he'd be.

Jin could hardly catch breath but he kept going on.He crossed the little fence and looked around,his whole body shivering.He was wet,from head to toe.He swiped his hair off his forehead and spotted Jungkook sitting in one of the swing sets,rain pouring down on him.He had his face in his hands.Jin couldn't tell if he was crying.He slowly walked to him and sat in the swing next to him.

"Hey",Jin said,his voice hoarse in his throat.Jungkook didn't raise his head abruptly.He took his time and when he did,it was apparent that he had been crying.Jin was alarmed and his mom instincts kicked in.He knelt infront of Jungkook in a split second and pulled him into a hug.Jungkook was trying hard to keep it all in,he hated crying.Jin ran his fingers on Jungkook's hair trying to calm him down.Jungkook debated a million times before letting out,"Do..Do I mean nothing to you,Hyung?".Jin stopped in his tracks and pulled away to look Jungkook in his eyes.

"Why'd you say such a thing,Kookie?",Jin was hurt,very.

"Cause..Cause you all are the only thing I have ever known,I spend my most memorable days with you.I loved you like family and ..and to know that I was kept in the dark about the truth about my brother.Do you know how I feel not having known that he was hurting when I was having fun? That he probably wanted to kill himself when I played around? "
"It wasn't your fault",Jin said in a sad voice.

"Yes,It was.Hyung,he needed help.Why didn't you help him?",Jungkook's eyes grew darker.His voice much stronger now.

"It wasn't like that-"

"What excuse do you have Hyung-",Jungkook stood up and unintentionally shoved Jin away.Jin quickly gained balance as he stood up.Jungkook turned around at him fiercely like a maniac,"What excuse do you have for being the cause of your brother's death? What excuse do you give yourself to live on peacefully?"
At this point Jungkook didn't know what he was saying or whether it made any sense but he was angry,so he spat venom.Every words poisonous than the other.

"You told him to never come back,didn't you? And that's what he did.He didn't come and I lost a brother,No..I lost all my brothers.I didn't believe the media when they said he took his life but now I do.Are you happy?",Jungkook snarled as Jin stood shell shocked.What's happening? This is more than about not letting him know about that night.Jungkook walked away as Jin reached out.Jin slowly lowered onto the ground,breaking into pain.He clutched his heart,he couldn't breath.

They were all in Jungkook's home that night as planned earlier to leave from there to Seoul together the next day.Namjoon was pacing the hall up and down.Jungkook had come home a few hours ago,drenched in rain.When asked about Jin,He had said he didn't see him.Hoseok and Taehyung slept in the nearby room,their soft snores filled the room.Yoongi was waiting up with Namjoon,although he was very tired.Namjoon kept calling Jin's phone but it seemed the mobile was dead.

"Should we go look for him?",Namjoon asked in concern,his eyes still set on the porch.

"Yeah,it's nearly 2,I'll wake Sejin hyung up to drive us"
Namjoon nodded,proceeding to take his coat.Just then the intercom went alive.Namjoon leaned back a little.

"Hey Namjoonah,It's me Jackson.Open up"

Namjoon looked at Yoongi ,confused,who bore a similar expression.Namjoon opened the door to find Jackson and Mark carrying a drunk SeokJin supporting him between their shoulders.Namjoon looked at them in surprise as they let themselves into the living room to settle a mumbling Jin down.

"found this treasure in the club",Mark said as he took Jin's hands off his shoulders.Mark and Jackson had travelled to Busan too for the memorial service.

"Thanks,Hyung-",Namjoon began only to be cut off by Jackson,"It's alright.He was getting into a fight with bartender when he refused to serve him more.Besides I wanted to see you too,How are you doing?"
Namjoon shrugged,his gaze following Yoongi as he took off Jin's shoes and socks.Mark helped him get off the soaked shirt and pants and got him into a Pyjama ,Yoongi carried over a big blanket and spread it over a Shivering Jin.

"Hey",Jackson snapped his fingers infront of Namjoon,"Are you really okay? and what happened to him?"
"It's just -",Namjoon trailed off .
"It's okay if you don't wanna tell me,But please know am here for you",Jackson said as Namjoon send him a soft glance.Jackson nodded slightly before saying,"sorry,But man..Just sort it out.You guys don't look good.I know it hurts but you gotta heal",he patted Namjoon as Mark joined him.Both of them said their goodbyes and left.

"Should we bring him to the room?",Namjoon asked.
"Let him be,he has slept.I'll stay with him",Yoongi offered and Namjoon nodded.As he was about to get into his room,Yoongi called out,"I hope you had a good reason to hide it from us"
Namjoon bit his lip and said,"I did".
With that,he was gone.Yoongi turned off the lights and plopped onto the nearby couch and soon fell asleep.

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L
Jungkook looked at his hyung whose face was set on a fixed frown,his features stressing over it.He was shaking lightly.Jungkook brought another blanket and tucked Jin in.As he walked away,Jin mumbled,"am sorry,I should have held onto you"
Jungkook walked away.