Remember the times

Chapter 20

Jungkook grew tired,waiting for Jin by the front steps and It was when Namjoon informed him that Jin was going to stay with his parents tonight,Jungkook decided to go to bed.His hyungs were all in bed,though early.But he can bet none of them were really asleep.Hoseok's muffled sobs still made it's way around the cold interior.Yoongi was staring at the ceiling.Although he wanted to comfort Hoseok,he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it since his heart was going through the same pain.The truth never failing to stab them.Yes,their brother did take his own life.

Namjoon was in his bed,watching the raindrops race down the window,occasionally lightning flashing over his face.The book in his hands had fallen onto the floor long forgotten but he had forgot to retrieve it as his eyes grazed the rain,wishing for the season to end.

Jungkook walked into his room to find the empty upper bunk and a lost Taehyung by the window watching the rain like his hyung.He was talking to himself in a whisper.
"Hyung",Jungkook said barely catching Taehyung's attention.He made his way to his brother and sat next to him.Taehyung stopped mumbling but didn't take his gaze off the sill.
Only the faint rumbling of the thunder and the rain against the glasses held the atmosphere together and Jungkook wasn't even sure if he were to speak,whether his hyung will heed.But he wanted to say it to someone.So he began,

"I wanted to win the world, you know.And I thought I did..I had everything, didn't I?", Jungkook scoffed and he hated the taste of those words tumbling out of his mouth.
"Maybe I didn't win everything.Maybe I am a failure as well.Now I can only imagine how it would've been to have everything.Do I make sense at all?
I was 15 when he walked into our old practice room...Jin hyung.He-
I..I never..really missed my family.He never let me", a small smile tugged at Jungkook's lips which quickly settled into a frown, "He gave up...almost everything, His dreams...Maybe this was not what he ever would have wanted, yet there he stayed.for us, for me.For six dorks he met far from home...Do you remember hyung? Jin hyung would always drive me to school, dotes on me a lot, made sure I didn't miss my meals, slept well..I...I remember that first day of winter..he woke me up, we stood by the garage dragging blankets along with us watching it snow.When I told him it was bad that we can't spend  the christmas with family.He-He told me,  'It's okay, we are family too'.The warmth he held around me that day, I miss that.I miss him.And... and all in return...I.. chose to hurt hi-", Jungkook's voice broke.The thunder rattled the window frames as Taehyung's tears debated.Jungkook sniffed wiping his face off with his own tears.

"And, him-", Jungkook's gaze wandered off to the photo frame that held memories of  the grinning Maknae line.
"Jiminie hyung....I miss you so much- There's not a single moment I don't think about you.Why.. did you just leave? Why didn't you tell me?  Did you not trust me?  I...I wish.. I could trade my life with you..I wish..I wish I was..the one gone...Don't you know, I'd give it all for you",

'Maybe that's why', Jungkook's  mind wasn't quiet. Jungkook broke into his arms as he stuttered out, "A-and now I can't fix it, Why'd... you say...you'd grow...old..with me? I feel like dying"

Taehyung's hand slowly made it's  way to Jungkook's shoulder but he dare raise his head.He couldn't decipher what was more violent.The thunder or the way Jungkook shook.Taehyung's voice came out more of a soft whisper betraying it's deepness.
"I wish so many things too.I hope I had done something too.But I didn't  and am no God to turn back time.He is in a better place and that's the one he chose to be in"
'Than with us', Taehyung hesitated to add.The bitterness of those words made him gag.

"You all are all that I have left.Don't give up on us,Jungkookah.Don't give up on me"

Taehyung knew he shouldn't say much and even if he did, he wasn't sure Jungkook will be able to understand.Yes, he made sure his voice lacked emotion, his inside crippled with fear.His thoughts were cut off as Jungkook made a quick turn and enveloped him into a hug.His uncontrollable sobs broke out beating the climate in the process.Taehyung ran comforting circles on Jungkook's back as his own tears gave him away.His eyes wandered off to the tiny being watching them.Someone only he could see.Someone only his imagination could draw out of thin air.He smiled.
When Jungkook pulled back, Taehyung asked,throwing a glance at the empty bed that once used to hold the most precious person he adored , "Do you want to sleep there?We can cuddle "

And as the skies cried, never giving up.Six brothers drifted off to a world of happiness, hope and where their little manggaettok was still alive.And two of them made sure to leave a space between them, as if he was there.As if he'd never left.Like how it used  to be.

-

Hoseok was patting Taehyung lightly on the shoulder pulling him out of his safe haven.And that had woke Jungkook up too.Hoseok pulled a chair close to the bed waiting for his little ones to make sense of their surroundings.Taehyung blinked in confusion.Making sure both of them were no more sleepy, Hoseok said urgently looking at Taehyung, "You said his phone was busy? "

"What? !"
"That day...um..When he left, you called him"
Taehyung nodded having no clue of why Hoseok was asking about it.
"So he was speaking to someone", Hoseok waited for the two to read him.
"Hyung-", Jungkook stopped, his eyes widening.
"We need to know to whom he spoke to, I wanna know what he said", Hoseok pulled at his hair in frustration.
He stood up and started pacing the room mumbling, "Even if it's him saying goodbyes-"

A/n:Honestly not very happy with this chapter. Was I able to capture the emotions?  God knows.

Also it's been hard for me some days now, falling into same old patterns and stuff.That's why am taking so long.I am tired of feeling, wanting to die.Am literally ranting on an author note.Sorryyyy....Hey, Stay happy okay..We all deserve  it.Love you loads