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Driving down the rode as I headed back home from the studio , the only thing running across my mind was the argument that Nasir and I had earlier. I thought we was gone talk and shit was come falling back together. I didn't even think that baby situation was still bothering her...It happened two years ago.
I always told her we could have another baby , but I guess that just wasn't enough. She wanted to keep the baby , I always knew she did but we couldn't. We wasn't in the right position to raise no baby. I was still sleeping in my grandma back house.
This music shit didn't get up in the air , until a whole yer later. I did everything-in my power to get here the way I did and I just couldn't let no baby stop my dream. Call me selfish , but I have to be able to do for myself before I can do for another human being.
I didn't want her feeling llike I didn't think about her cause I did , but what if this music shit never got as far as it did. We'd be stuck in fucking Memphis , with basic ass jobs probably still selling drugs and a baby on our hips.
We wasn't even built for no shit like that , we always struggled but my child for sure wasn't.
Speeding up on the freeway , my phone started to go off making my music stop. I looked up at the Caller I.D. on the screen in the car. It read " Ma-Dukes ". I smiled before pressing the answer button on my steering wheel.
" MAMAAAAA." I dragged out laughing a little before pulling my hat down on my head a little more.
" Hey son , how was ya day baby ?" She asked me , I could hear her moving around in the background a little bit. Probably cooking.
" Rough , mane' mama how you suppose to make somebody forgive you when you did something super selfish a long time ago. But you made changes...and you just want them back in your life." I laughed coming up on a red light , gaining a grip on the steering wheel waiting on her response.
" You and Nassi still disagreeing with one another I see." She laughed making me shake my head.
" Yea I went to see her today. It ain't end all that well. We ended up bringing up that situation again." I stated clearing my throat knowing my mom hated me talking about this.
" Yall need to let that baby rest...Yall made that decision its too late to change it." She stated before sighing.
" I know that mama. It's her , she won''t let it go...I mean I don't expect her to but we weren't ready for that and she knows it.'" I said again pulling off from the red light .
" That's a sensitive subject , that's not something easy to do. She was already past her first trimester...It's like a emotional dis attachment. It's not something easy to let go off either." My mom explained making me nod my head as if she could see me.
