Holding On & Letting Go [✓] (Boyxboy)

Chapter Ten

It was three o'clock in the morning and I was yet to get a full hour of sleep.

My mind didn't seem to be able to shut off as thoughts of what I did with Jack last night circulated endlessly in my head.

Thankfully, today was a day off since no shoots had been booked in, so I wouldn't have to go into work looking like a zombie.

Tossing restlessly in my bed, I roll over and let out an exasperated sigh. Knowing that any hope of sleep coming was a distant fantasy, I grab my phone from the nightstand.

I wince at the brightness of it before tapping on my messages and going to the chat I had with Gabriel.

We had exchanged more photos and I smile at a selfie he had sent me from his apartment in Brooklyn. Overlooking a gorgeous city view from the balcony, he was bathed in golden light from the evening sun and beaming at the camera.

It was a stunning photo, and made him look all-the-more gorgeous, but for the first time since he sent it to me, I couldn't appreciate its beauty to the full extent.

Switching over to the app for the dating website, I search for Jack's profile and find it almost instantly.

With a higher stat number than mine, Jack's profile was getting a tonne of hits. It baffled me how it seemed that each one went wrong.

Jack had mentioned a while ago that his profile had begun to attract attention from everyday suitors, and that he would receive messages almost daily, yet he never seemed to accept any of them other than the one from last week.

Mulling over his profile, it was clear to see why it attracted so much attention. Where my featured photo hid my face, Jack's was open and warm. It was a photo I had taken of him at the beach a few months back.

Dressed in a dark blue bathing suit, he was shirtless with dark shades on. His dark hair matched the long shadow cast behind him and the angle of the sun made the picture more radiant.

The photo was truly amazing, one of the best I'd ever taken. Anyone would be a fool to not see how attractive my best friend was.

But that was just it, he was my best friend. So why had I started to feel different when thinking about him?

Noticing his attractiveness, his mannerisms, the way he spoke, everything seemed to be moving out of the shadows and into the light where I had begun to see it.

"No," I whispered to myself, amused. "Just because he's been teaching me how to fall in love again, it doesn't mean it's going to happen. Besides, he likes someone else."

My heart tugged uncomfortably at the thought and I frowned.

Back in high school people used to joke and say that Jack and I were a couple because of how close we were. Wherever we were, you wouldn't find one without the other. Even if there was an age difference.

Then Jack graduated, leaving me all alone, though the jokes didn't stop.

"What's wrong Troye?", "Where's your boyfriend, Troye?", "Did you guys break up?"

"Jack isn't my boyfriend," I would mumble but they would only laugh. "Sure, okay."

My parents had once asked me this too. Last year at Thanksgiving, mum, dad and I had been washing dishes together in the kitchen when my mum said, "So what's going on between you and Jack?"

"Nothing, why?" I had replied with.

"No...feelings, maybe?"

"No?"