y/n pov
I was sitting on the roof, staring at the moon. It was midnight, and I couldn't fall asleep. My parents were out having dinner or doing god knows what. And I was home alone, sitting on the roof. We had new neighbours, I overheard my mom talking on the phone. Mom said we were having dinner with them tomorrow, I didn't really care.
The moon seems to be the only one that was there for me when I was sad. It listens to everything I confess, it listens to everyone. I looked down to see a pair of familiar eyes staring up at me. Probably the new neighbours. I sighed and walked back inside the house. There was nothing to do inside, so I walked out and went to the park. Some drunk guys stared at me, and just walked away. I got used to this feeling.
The feeling of being alone.
[10:23AM]
I was sitting on the couch waiting for mom to prepare dinner. It is our first family dinner since my brother left. I wasn't wearing much. Just a plain black skirt and a black hoodie. There was a knock on the door, making dad get it. He was giving both of the neighbours a hug, and there was a familiar figure behind them.
"Oh y/n come meet their son, Jisung" dad called me, making me look dully at him. I shook his hand and went to the table. Everyone was seated, the whole table was chatting and discussing about business. I was just digging my food and being drowned by my thoughts again.
"Oh y/n, I heard that Jisung and you go to the same school" his mom said making me look at her and nod. I noticed how Jisung kept staring, but I just ignored him. I feel so numb, even around people I don't feel human. Like I'm the monster in this human household. I just want god to pull me out of this world and place me somewhere else. Anywhere else.
[11:10AM]
Me and Jisung were sitting in the backyard, my mom told us that we should get to know more about each other. "You know if you don't start talking, we'll sit here for hours" I said giving him a tired face. "Right, umm sorry for what happened between Changbin and the others" he said, apologising. "Yeah okay, why did you even move here?" I asked, staring at the sky. "It was the only place that was affordable" he answered making me nod.
"Why are you always so sad?" He asked. "I'm not sad, I'm numb" I answered. "Yeah but why?" He asked again. "My brother left when I was young, I lost my best friend. I pushed my family away. And I cry constantly at night. What am I supposed to, fake a smile?" I explained, giving a sigh.
[1:34PM]
They left, finally. "Y/n, you could've been nicer to Jisung" my father said. "What? Why?" I asked, confused. "Just because you push people away, does not mean you have to be mean to them" he said making me look at him. "First of all, have you ever thought about the fucking fact that I push people away cause this hellhole doesn't make me feel like home. And second of all, I'm not gonna fake a smile to everyone I meet" I said and walked out of the house.
I didn't even know where I was going, I was just walking where my legs took me. And apparently it led me to Wendy's house. I stood there for a split second and rang the doorbell. She opened the door with a worried look on her face. She knows I'm sad. I collapsed in her arms and started crying. I miss her, I miss how we used to hang out everyday. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" I said in between of my sobs. "It's okay, come inside" she said and locked the door behind me.
We entered her room and she sat infront of me. "What happened?" She asked and wiped away the tears that were falling down my eyes. "I'm just tired, I wanna end it Wen. I feels like it won't even be a difference if I left this earth" I said, looking down. "Have you ever thought about how I would feel if you left? How Changbin would feel? We care about you y/n, we love you" she said and hugged me. I miss her scent so much. It's like the old days.
