Immure

Chapter 3

(From this chapter, the present starts)

December 18th.
It could have been a regular day in my life if he and I never crossed paths.

But today is special, it's our 2 year anniversary.

That's how Dorian sees it, he thinks of it as day to be cherished and celebrated, because this was the day he abducted me. In his mind, it's the most praised day of the year, when our fates were sealed together. The first day of of the rest of our lives together.

For me it's the day were I have to pretend that I love him more than any other day. I must portray glee and happiness, trying to deceive him of all the hate, sadness and apathy I feel.

Today, I just want to forget the world exists. Disappear for just a mere instant and send this horrible reality away from my life, into oblivion.

I wish I could be anywhere else than where I am right now. Anywhere is better. This manor is a piece of hell on earth.

But no matter how much I daydream, I'm still here. Plunged to his side, having all my free will thrown away. Every move I make is closely watched, every action requires for permission. All of this inspired and induced by his love for me.

At some point, it makes me feel less human, like a toy. His toy. This feeling isn't one anybody should have to feel. It's miserable, full of sorrow.

No matter how extremely big is this manor or how large are it's gardens. It never fails to suffocate me, and I'm kept locked in, like a doll in a plastic box.
But maybe that's all I am to him, a trapped doll for him to play around with.

Today, my life has been in the hands of this man for the past two years. If someday he wakes up with the desire of killing me, it'd be incredibly easy, and no one would ever know. Except for Relya of course, she would clean his mess silently without any questions, like she always does.

In the past, when he had me starve for several days, all I could think of was how much more could my body take or when would I fall asleep and never wake up. He doesn't apply that method now though. He thinks I've improved, meaning that now, getting a few beatings per week, an occasional hair pull or a hard slap in the moment to remind me of my place do the trick.

Sometimes he just punish me by not letting me go to the gardens or restricts me from watching t.v. for a couple days.
In other occasions, when I've really crossed the line or done something that he considers unacceptable, he does lock me in the basement with the lights and the heater turned off, with no food or water for one or two days. I actually don't know know what's worse, the darkness or the unbearable cold.

But perhaps there are some things I could be grateful for. Like he buys me expensive clothes, a bed, showers, luxurious gifts that I don't need or ask for and food whenever I want. I know that many other girls that have been kidnapped don't have the same sort of luck that I do. But what about the horrible price?

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted as he entered the room with a gigantic bouquet full colourful tulips. When I woke up earlier he was already gone, so I was still in bed about to go get a shower and fix myself how he likes me to.

"Good morning my beautiful girl! Happy anniversary, I love you." he said cheerfully while bending himself towards my face and giving me a long, in some way passionate kiss that lasted about ten seconds. When he finished, he placed the flowers at my side on the bed and caressed my hair. He looked at me expectantly.

I hesitated for a short instant before answering, showing a smile and saying, "Happy anniversary dear. I love you too."

He seemed more than satisfied with my answer. I think that deep down, he was waiting for me to lash out and reject this whole anniversary thing like I did last year. Oh boy, he was indescribably mad at me.