Sing Me - Meteor

Ch 5

I woke up at 7, took a shower and headed to collage. Amber called me and I met her at the lecture. We chatted about some stuff and she told me she was going out with Jae and a friend of his called Sungjin after the last lecture and she offered me to accompany them, but I politely refused.

After the day ended I walked with her until we reached the gate. She told me she is waiting for them here so I left. I walkled a little and then I saw Jae and someone else with him I assumed to be Sungjin.

I looked at Jae and He was already looking at me. He smiled at me and I nodded my head as response to his action then continued my way.

Why Havn't I talked to him today? Because I want it to end. I don't want any other things that make me depressed again. I don't love that feeling of living alone in my world of dreams. And I hope it can end If I don't talk to him.

I stayed the whole night laying on my bed and listening to songs that he sent me his records singing. I tried to sleep. I tried to not think about him. I tried to be okay with it but I'm not able to. I'm revolving in the same Circle since my first time talking to him. And I didn't want things to end like that with him. I want to approach him and get closer. I just wanted to text him and so I did. I made sure the message was sent then locked the phone and fell in scilence, thoughts and dry tears before lastely sleep.

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12 am

Unknown: I'm afraid again. I'm afraid to approach you in the morning and you won't recognize me ... and now I'm a just a foolish kid who doesn't want to admit the reality that we can't be something.

message seen ✅✅

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I stayed on that pace for the last three weeks. Ignoring him and not talking to him a single word. And indeed the dreams stopped. How I knew? The date finally changed after repeating in every dream. And I saw some progress in the classes too. It was hard for me in the first three days to acclimate the situation. But I got used to it. As hard and tough it is as I should do it to myself.

But this day I couldn't handle to do this anymore. He asked Amber for her notes but she had alot of things missing in them so she asked me to lend him mine. I securely agreed and told myself That I won't make any further contact but I just couldn't, and I found myself repeating the God damn thing again. And he left me this day in front of my house. He smiled at me sweetly and said good night for me then left.

I opened the door of my apartment, got in, threw the keys and the purse on the couch and sat next to it on the floor crying.

Why do every moment I spend with you draw in me like that while it will be nothing to you? I totaly know ... it can't be counted as your fault anymore now but It feels so bad for me to get over it.

I and I saw you sent a message with a meme. I smiled at myself bitterly then we chatted casually as we did in my first two dreams. I guess this day will be turned into a dream too as you enterd it. Even if you don't remember anything happened between us I do ... and I want to see you again and again and I think I'm fated to the heart break as long as you visit my dreams everyday and night.

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It was wierd though that it didn't turn into a dream. Because Amber, Jimin and Sungjin remembered every thing except the parts Jae were in. So it serioisly turned to hallucinations. Cool.

After I got out of the last lecture which I attened alone without any of the guys. I saw Younghyun and Dowoon reaching me. I waved at them. I talked to Dowoon two or three times in the last two weeks so he knows me now.