Family Friend | tommy lee

love me, lee

The next morning wasn't good for me, because I woke up at one in the afternoon. My eyes were puffy, and my nose was stuffed. The headache didn't help any either.

The memories from last night flowed back into my head and the tears started forming again. I stopped them from falling and went to my closet, searching for my robe.

For some reason, it wasn't where I placed it last night. But I guess it didn't matter, no one was home, they planned on going around town this morning.

I open my door and looked across the hall, Tommy's door was ajar. I took a step towards it, wanting to open it. I let a shaky breath out and push it open. I peeked in, seeing Tommy laying on the bed. He had a kneel up, and his arms resting on his forehead. His hair was a mess and his shirt was off.

I sat down between the space of him and the edge of the bed. He opens his eyes and takes off his headphones. It was almost like that night.

"You okay?" He asks. I slowly shook my head and continued to stare down at my thighs. "What's wrong?" He kneels up and attempts to make eye contact with me, but I don't budge.

"Did you lie, Tommy?" I turn to him, on the verge of crying. "Did you lie that night? Were you just trying to prove you can get into anyone's pants, sweet talk into me fucking you?" My voice cracked and the held back tears fell immediately.

I felt Tommy's hand on my cheek, wiping the tears away.

"You're different, Ashton. You need to realize that our situation is complicated. It was complicated."

"I'm different in a bad way. I'm not like Heather and I'll never be like her. I'm not attractive to you and I just want you to say it." I sniffle. "Fuck, I don't even know why I do this. I'm so stupid." I stand up, but Tommy pulls me back down.

"You're fucking astonishing, and you have to stop comparing yourself. You're not Heather, you're you. And you're unique and I don't know what it'll take to get you to realize I..." he sighs and looks away. "I want you, Ashton. You know how hard it is to be apart from you. To not touch you?" He smiles to himself, "you're unforgettable."

"You're saying that because you feel bad."

"But I'm not, Ash." He brushed my hair out of my face, and his big light brown eyes search for mine.

"It's funny how you only have the guts to say this when no one's around."

Tommy pulls my arm towards him, quietly asking me to lay down. I do so, and he wipes my tears. "You know it's complicated, Ashton. I want the world to know how beautiful you are, but that's not my part. And you made that clear right?"

"Tommy I want you and you know that. But Heather has done a thing wrong and she doesn't deserve that. My dad would flip out."

"And your boyfriend would try and kill me."

"Boyfriend? I don't have one. I would be doing this if I had one." I correct him, slightly confused.

"That guy from yesterday? Cameron?"

I turned over and heavily cried into his pillow. Last nights events weren't ones I wanted to think about. "What happened baby girl?" He ran his fingers through my hair again, his body slightly spooning mine. "Did he hurt you."

"I'm too fat for love, Lee."

"Did that fucker call you fat because I swear I'll beat the living shit out of him-"

"It doesn't matter." I plainly say. "I can't keep anyone even if my life depended on it."

"You need to stop lying to yourself."

"It's not a lie if it keeps happening."

"You can't win a four-player game with only two players." He says, lying his head on the crook my neck. "You can't understand a language if you don't try to learn it." He leaves a wet kiss on my shoulder. "I honestly don't know where I'm getting at with this." He whispers, making me laugh.

"You're an idiot, Tommy Lee." I turn to face him, and he places his headphones on my head.

"I'm gonna go make you some food, stay here." Tommy jumps over me and stands on his feet. I grab his hand and he turns around.

"Thank you for making me feel better."

"Anything for you babe." He reaches down and kisses my forehead.

I stood up and looked into the mirror that was placed on the door. I cleared my face and took a long look at my reflection. The three bulges sticking out from the silk dress I find no beauty in. My two breast, and my stomach that stuck out like I was four months pregnant. It wasn't hard, and it was pure fat. But I didn't care, all I could focus on was something else. 

Maybe it was the way I was thinking, though maybe not. I knew that this wasn't right. But in my chest, it felt like it was perfect timing. His near nude body aligned with colorful art pieces, his long hair drifting and ends just above his glorious pecks. It was just the fact that he was in a band that could make you fall in love instantly. 

I undressed. One swift movement because the gown wasn't so long. I stared into the mirror again, examining every stretch mark, every dimple, every cellulite mark, every scar, every dark mark. My breasts sagged apart from each other. They weren't so big, so they didn't push together to induce sexuality. 

My collarbones, if I had to choose something I loved about myself, it was my collarbones. They were prominent and it was the only thing that didn't spell 'fat' all over myself. My puffy lips, they were full and wet, I was lucky for lips like these. People would call them blowjob lips, but lucky me. 

The light knocks echoed, and there he was, Tommy, coming through the door. One hand held a plate and another held a cigarette between his two fingers. It lightened orange with gray smoke drifting off into the air. He looked at me for a split second and turned around. 

At this point, you could say my mind went blank, and all I could truly think was for love. Not the type to get married and trail on with kids. 

But the love you get now, the powerful admiration. The touching, the kissing, the fucking. 

"Tommy, you can look," I whisper. He sets down the plate but doesn't turn around. My shaking body steps towards him and takes his arm that held the burning cigarette. Pulling him to turn and face me, his eyes reached mine. 

"Love me, Lee." 

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050819

i wanna drop acid again bye