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HADLEY liked to block out the day that she made Percy leave. It was difficult to do – forgetting him, pretending as if that day never existed – but she did it because she had to. If she remembered the way he kissed her, or the way he cried when he noticed her still watching him as he walked out of the Cortez – she didn't know what she'd do. If she remembered, Hadley was sure she'd run out and try to find him again. She would bring him back to the hellmouth. She would risk his mortality just to feel his hands burn against her icy skin.
Without him there, she felt lost, but it was what needed to be done.
Hadley liked to tell herself that she was fine without Percy, that she could get through anything on her own. She had been dealing with this affliction by herself for almost her whole life. She liked the alone time.
But after a while, alone time became nauseating. Alone time was scary. Because alone time was when she was left with her innermost thoughts, and her mind was consumed of their moments together. The only thing she could do to pass the time was to kill off the rest of those brat pack kids, which took longer than she thought it would. She desperately tried to reach her conscious out, trying to find his across the entire state of California, but she knew it was useless and there was no way for her to contact him. She needed to sit with the memory of him and enjoy this time.
