Quote sayings and other random stuff 2

Part 5

42. When she was 7, a boy pushed her on the playground. She fell head first into the dirt and came up with a mouthful of gravel and lines of blood chasing each other down her legs. When she told her teacher what happened, she laughed and said "Boys will be boys honey, don't let it bother you, he probably just thinks you're cute"

But the thing is, when you tell a little girl who has rocks in her teeth and scabs on her knees that hurt and attention are the same thing, you teach her that boys show their affection through aggression and she grows into a young woman who constantly mistakes the two because no one ever taught her the difference.

'Boys will be boys' turns into 'that's how he shows his love', and bruises start to feel like the imprint of lips.

She goes to school with a busted mouth in high school, and says she was hit with a basketball instead of a fist. The on adult she tells scolds her, "You know he loses his temper easily, why the hell did you have provoke him?". So she shrinks, folds into herself, flinches everytime a man raises his voice. By the time she's 16, she's learnt her job well. Be quiet, be soft, be easy, don't give him a reason. But for all her efforts, he still finds one.

'Boys will be boys' rings in her head. Boys will be boys. He doesn't mean it. He can't help it.

She's 7 years old, on the playground again, with a mouthful of rocks and blood that tastes like copper love because boys will be boys. Baby don't you know? That's just how he shows he cares.

She's 18 now and they're drunk. In the split second it takes for her words to enter his ears, they're ruined like a glass heirloom being dropped between generations. She meant them to open his arms but they curl his fists and suddenly his hands are on her and her head hits the wall and all of the goddamn words in the world couldn't save them in this moment.

She touches the bruise the next day. Boys will be boys.

Aggression. Affection.

Violence. Love.

How does she seperate them when she learnt so early that they're inextricably bound, tangled, in a constant tug-of-war? She draws tally marks on her walls. Ratios of kisses to bruises. Boys will be boys. Boys will be boys.

When she's 20 a boy touches her hips and she jumps, he asks her who the hell taught her to be scared like that and she wants to laugh, doesn't he know that boys will be boys? It took her 13 years to unlearn that lesson from the playground.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I will talk until my voice is hoarse so that my little sister understands that aggression and affection are two entirely seperate things. Baby they exist in different universes. My niece can't even speak yet but I think I'll start with her now.

Don't ever accept the excuse that boys will be boys, don't ever let him put his hands on you like that. If you can see hate blazing in his eyes, don't ever confuse it with live. Baby, love won't hurt when it comes. You won't have to hide it under long sleeves during the summer, and the only reason he should ever reach out his hand is to hold yours.

-Fortesa Latifi