room 207 | shyland ✓

ten

ryland's pov

the next morning i woke up at a quarter to eleven and the thrill of the night before was still flooding through me. my brain felt slightly foggy from the lack of sleep and it thumped against my skull as i slowly dragged myself out of bed. after quickly getting changed into some dark grey skinny jeans and a navy sweatshirt, i began to make my way to the bathroom whilst brushing my hair out my face. i could still feel his hands sliding into the pockets of his jacket to hold my waist tightly. memories were replaying in my head as i walked out onto the landing, cut off with my arm sharply being grabbed and tugged into the room beside mine.

smirking down at me was my brother, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "you're seeing a girl, aren't you?" he asked excitedly. "who is she? does she go to our school? have you slept with her?"

freezing, i felt the heat rush to my cheeks. "i— what makes you think that?" i stuttered and watched as the smug look on his face grew. fuck. the word 'girl' made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach and i just wanted to crawl right back into bed so i could pretend that every night would be like the last one.

"i heard you sneaking in at 4am this morning! don't worry, little bro, i won't snitch on you. you've kept your mouth shut for shane and i over the years, so i'll do the same." austin assured me and i felt myself nodding along, shrugging slightly. shane. his name made my stomach do somersaults. "who is she then?"

shit shit shit. i felt the blush of embarrassment seeping down my neck and the tips of my ears as i began to answer. "just a girl from my geometry class." i managed to spit out, gulping. "it's no big deal. we've been getting to know each other for a few weeks now... she has problems with her parents, they had a huge fight and she wanted to talk." i lied smoothly and almost felt guilty for how easy the words fell out of my mouth. when you've been keeping your sexuality a secret for two years, it quickly gets a lot simpler to bluff your way out of situations.

my brother slapped my back in approval as we made our way downstairs to grab breakfast and start our saturday properly. "you know, ry, for the last few months you genuinely had me worried that maybe you were gay or some shit. when i was your age i'd slept with loads of girls already, you need to chill out a bit and have more fun."

his words were like a knife to my stomach and i felt myself tense up slightly. "yes, well that's the difference between you and i, austin, isn't it? i care about people and you don't." my words came out a snapping mess but i didn't feel the slightest ounce of remorse. worried. i had him worried that i might be gay. suddenly what shane had said last night was making a little more sense; you couldn't tell my brother things. he didn't understand.

with a heavy sigh, i pushed past him and went right back into my bedroom, grabbing my phone and shane's jean jacket that was hung across the back of my chair with heat creeping up my face. worried. gay. chill out a bit. my heart rate was quickening as i stormed down the stairs, the sheep wool brushing against my skin. girls. have more fun. swinging the door open, i took a shaky breath and closed my eyes for a second before pulling the jacket over my smaller body. it was oversized on me, the bottom falling down to my mid-thigh and the sleeves far too big for my slender arms, but i loved it because it smelt of shane and mint and sea salt and cigarettes and that was the only bit of reassurance i could cling on to in this moment.

"i'm going out." i yelled at the top of my voice, feeling myself tremble at my brothers words and not really caring about the response i got. worried. worried you were gay. girls. have a bit more fun. slamming the door shut, i began to pace down the pavement and ignored the way the wind bit my face with each sharp step.