Falling Dreams Of Fang Hua

Chapter 60

Han Zichuan left quietly. Since he was the reigning emperor, I couldn't kill him no matter how much I hated him. When he left, he didn't forget to issue a decree to summon Little Li from the palace for the purpose of looking after my daily affairs. I suspected most of his job was to keep an eye on me. With these safeguards in place, Han Zichuan was probably worried that I'd follow in Fang Hua's footsteps if I took things too hard.

He was such an idiot. As the Carefree Idler, why would I kill myself so easily? If I died...then there'd be no one to save Fang Hua. Autumn ended as winter began, and the temperatures grew colder and colder. In the past, the precious plants here were so doted on by Fang Hua that they bloomed in spite of the weather, competing to flower all over the hills. Now that Fang Hua had passed away, they turned still as well, docilely growing as convention dictated with no wild profusion of seeds.

The yellow earth hill became more desolate as well.

Dressed in thick robes, I squatted on the ground to watch after that Fang Hua wood, a faint pain throbbing from my wrist.

"Master," a soft voice called from my side. I ignored it.

"Master, the wind's getting stronger. Let's go back inside," Little Li bent down to look at me, his hand shaking as he sought to support my arm. I gave him a dull glance. He was anxiously staring off at a point, his breaths obviously unsteady. This time he forgot about rank to scoop up my sleeves, staring with wide eyes at what I was doing.

"You're...this is..." his flurried voice shook in confusion. I actually smiled as I pulled down my sleeves to cover my wrist again.

—

I'd cut a bit deep this time, but the pain was enough to remind me that I could still experience pain...I wasn't some sort of walking corpse, but someone who could still feel...

"Master, the emperor told me to take care of you so you wouldn't do foolish things," Little Li said angrily, suddenly standing up straight. He stamped his feet a few times before withdrawing some gauze and pills from his robes, tugging my hand over, and binding my injury. "I'm glad I brought some medicine with me when I left the house. Just in time, you...why do you have so many cuts, what will we do if it scars?"

"Don't go to all that trouble," I looked at him directly. "Now that you've bandaged up this wound, won't I need to use time cutting another one?"

"Why are you so cruel to yourself? Look at what's happened to you in these days," Little Li looked at me with wide eyes, the rims reddening. My gaze slowly lowered to the dozens of ugly scars on my wrists, taking pleasure in their existence.

Yes...they might have been ugly, but Fang Hua wouldn't care. He needed my blood, and I was willing to give it. My mouth split into a smile before I heard a dong! When I looked up, Little Li was kneeling on the ground, head down as his body trembled uncontrollably. He looked ready to cry. "Master, it's your servant who's unworthy."

I quietly looked at him. His voice grew lower and lower, as if he was using all his courage.

"During his life, Lord Hua was extremely good to your servant. Later on, your servant came to serve you. Many times, your servant wanted to remind you of the past, but the words dared not leave my lips...to tell the truth, when the emperor told your servant to send you to Lord Hua's house, your servant wouldn't have done it even if I died."

"It's thanks to you that I got to spend the remaining days with him."

"Your servant was really happy for a while, but if your servant had known this would happen, your servant would've refused even if I died."

"I spent my happiest days during that time."

He stared blankly at me, saying earnestly, "This time, even if your servant loses his life, I'll make sure to keep you and Lord Hua safe."