Dreaming Companion

Chapter 12: Denial

You felt the sheer presence of your scalp, as the teeth of the comb ran finely over it. The sound it made across your wet hair relaxed you, allowing your eyes to remain in a blank stare as the entire process became an endless cycle.

Smooth and uninterrupted, you assumed it be so, until a tangle suddenly made an appearance. A stubborn tangle to be in fact, that did not seem to vanish with your first, nor second or third attempt. The fourth, the fifth and the sixth did not prove to help either. Lastly, the seventh attempt broke your patience, as a loud groan escaped you, clutching your hair in frustration, forcing you to toss the comb hard on the ground in sheer anger.

Breathing heavily, you faced the mirror, to witness nothing but a mess of a woman in her bedroom. Hair disheveled, tensed muscles found in every inch of your face, followed with a menacing gaze. Sighing, you closed your eyes, displeased. What on earth have you become? Disappointment came over you. Disappointment in your current state, and mostly the disappointment in your behavior displayed a few hours earlier at the lake, especially in the eyes of James Delaney.
The memory remained fresh. For you, his expression was clear as day. His look of immense confusion as he stood there by the shore watching you constantly. How you got up from the reclining position, to sit up with legs folded close, without a stitch of clothing on you. You averted your gaze with a surprising amount of embarrassment as his eyes never left you. The hyperventilation slowly died down, followed by deep breaths that calmed you within a minute or two. Truthfully, you longed to weep, wail, whatever way to shed the pain and release your state of shock. Yet you did not want to. No, you were embarrassed to. You were no stranger to tears, especially in front of him, but today was not the day. You did not want him to see you in that manner. Little did you know, between your contemplation, James moved about, surprising you as he put his coat over you, warmth spreading as a result. That slight moment was enough for you to feel an overwhelming sense of affection for him. But a sadness crept through simultaneously, for you were unable to appreciate his kind gesture. His grunt made you look up , to find him holding out your clothes as well.

"You'll catch a cold..." James said, "...if you don't keep warm". With a slight nod , you accepted them before he moved away to dress himself.

Walking back home through the woods was horrid to you in flesh, blood and bone. Though dry clothes enveloped you, the wet hair caused your body to turn into ice. Even the slightest gust of wind made you grit your teeth, thus shivering becoming a default response.

You watched James walk a few feet ahead of you, and given your current circumstance, you favored it greatly, for he was your compass. Amusing it was to think how a few hours ago, you dreamt of walking alongside him, only to suddenly feel more comfortable to walk behind instead. You knew of the reason with clarity, yet did not care to admit it. At least not then.

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The growling of thunder brought you back, and you were staring at your disheveled self once more. Silence was nowhere near you, when you were finally made aware of the pouring rain that had begun outside. Mother Nature's dismal spirit simply mirrored your own, empathizing you fully. With the grey clouds hovering outside and the blue walls surrounding you inside, the chill you felt was not at all surprising.

This feeling of toxicity you certainly did not welcome, and the need to pluck it out instantly was growing strong. This was inevitable. You longed for freedom, now more than ever. Taking a deep breath, you sank on your bed, reclining slowly.

Whilst your body moved down, you felt yourself unlock, push open the gates. Like the overflow of water collected on the road during rainfall, you allowed that one fateful memory to flow through you, in a small yet endless stream. With your head finally resting on the mattress, you let it play out.