"loving you was easy,
it was you leaving that scared."
-
warning: smut
"Do you want to come over tonight?"
He was beautiful. Curly brown hair and pretty blue eyes. Muscles chiseled into his lean body. His nose was straight and perfect and I liked the way he looked at me.
"We can watch a movie. I'll buy you ice cream."
I wanted to. It had been a while since i'd been with someone and I longed for the feeling of lying with something warm. I missed closing my eyes and feeling the rise and fall of their breaths.
So i said yes.
And then I waited for my parents to go to bed so I could climb out my window and run off into the night.
He called me to ask what flavour ice cream I wanted. Chocolate. I didn't mind which brand. How was it possible for him to be so caring when it didn't matter at all to him?
The time came and his headlights were shining down my street. It was freezing so I put on some thick socks, said goodbye to my dog and left the house.
His car was blue and it blended in with the dark sky. The moon was at about half cycle. I didn't look back before I left; why would i need to?
He told me he was nervous. Nervous. To spend time with me? I still don't know which part he was scared about. Was it because he thought i was so interesting that he found it hard to impress me?
We pulled up outside his house. I'd never been inside before. He lived with a few friends; their cars were parked in the driveway. He held my hand as we went inside. It was cleaner than I had expected.
His room was gentle. Light wood floors and white sheets. A TV perched on top of a cabinet that held his clothes. He emptied his pockets next to the TV.
"What side of the bed do you sleep on?"
A simple question. But how many times had he asked this before?
"The right" I answered.
He got into bed on the left side, holding up the covers so I could crawl in next to him.
The movie wasn't interesting but he played with my hair and i smoothed my hands across the skin on his chest and stomach. I passed my fingertips across his collarbone and down his arms where i laced our fingers together. He ran his across my neck and down my shoulders, resting briefly on the small of my back. It felt like being loved, the way he touched me gently.
How could I have gotten it so wrong?
We had kissed before that night. He never tasted like anything but his lips were tender as they moved across my face. softly on my forehead and then my cheek, the tip of my nose and finally peppered across my lips.
He moved across me as he brought his lips down my neck.
"I don't want to leave a mark." He was worried because I had school the next day.
"Makeup." I smiled.
The pressure of his lips on my neck was comforting. I ran my fingers down his back, pulling his hips lower so they met mine.
I'd never been with someone that I wasn't in love with. How different would it be?
He slid his hands up my top, squeezing my boob in his hand before running his thumb over the nipple. I hadn't bothered with a bra.
The movie was still playing in the background but the sound of it was long gone to me. He slipped my top over my head and threw it into the corner of his room before he began to work his way down my body, dragging his lips down the centre of my chest, leaving marks across me but pausing to take one of my nipples into his mouth.
