bite [my.pj]

ch. 1

Bringing his knees close to his chest, he reached up and placed the cigarette between his doll like lips. He was really cold. Currently skipping school by hiding in the restroom, sitting on the floor in the biggest stall, a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. He was calm. Looking down, he noticed how much smaller he was getting. He didn't like it. He wanted to be a cute and chubby little baby, as Hoseok would say. But Yoongi has been having a hard time these days. It doesn't help the fact that his mother doesn't feed him and his older brother abused him. However he is fine. Yoongi is fine.

Taking a long drag before putting the lit up nicotine out, he gets up, his vision blurred and black spots appearing everywhere. He was used to this. He had to be used to this. Yoongi walked out the stall and into the hallway where students are now getting out of class. Spotting his boyfriend Namjoon, Yoongi walks up to the smart boy, greeting him shyly.

Yoongi has always been a bit shy around pretty boys.

Namjoon smiles charmingly at the smaller, ruffling his hair before slinging his arm around Yoongi's tiny shoulders. Now a blushing mess, Yoongi snuggles into his boyfriend, feeling the utmost safe and comfortable. Hoseok joins the couple, soon followed by Taehyung, another close friend.

Namjoon is aware of Yoongi's eating habits and throwing up habits, however he never makes a move to prevent such things. Yoongi always wonders why. Namjoon is also aware of Yoongi's nicotine addiction, but once again, makes no move to stop him. It's okay though, Yoongi is fine.

Soon, all noise gets removed from the little one's ears, his vision becoming blurry. He feels himself lose balance but he hangs onto the person who is closest to him, his boyfriend. Apologizing quietly, Yoongi slips away from the other three, going out the doors and into the outside world. Taking a big breath of fresh hair, he begins to walk home. It was soon to be summer and the trees looked so beautiful this time of year. Yoongi really appreciated the trees along with their offerings. Humming a little toon, Yoongi spots a moving truck in his next door neighbor's driveway the closer he approaches to his home. He squints his eyes, due to his terrible vision, and makes out what appears to be someone moving in. Not that he cares though. He never goes out. In fact, the only time he eve makes human contact is at school. His friends are always too busy for him. Namjoon says he needs to study. But Yoongi doesn't care, he's fine.

He spots a boy who seems to be his age. The boy spots him as well, both making eye contact for a split second before Yoongi blushes and waddles into his home. The boy only smirks and chuckles.

Still blushing, the kitten runs up to his room, locking the door so his brother can't come in. He noticed his mom wasn't home, per usual. However he didn't take note of his brother being home either. He settles on playing some soft music through his ancient mp3 player as he begins his homework. He is a good student. Always will be. A sudden knock is was startles him. He knows who it is and refuses to answer. Luckily Yoongi's door isn't the type where you can pick it open. Once it's locked, it's locked. Which would be very good for other purposes, something Yoongi thought when they first moved in, however his interest in doing such things isn't there.

He hears a loud groan before the sound of loud stomps echo down the hallway. He frowns, laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His life was such an endless cycle. Always the same. He wanted change. He wanted to get better. He wanted to be free. He wanted genuine support from literally anyone. He had Hoseok, but Yoongi never wanted to be a bother. Without even realizing, Yoongi began to play with his sleeves, pulling them down and then tracing his old scars. He used to self harm. A lot. However he doesn't see the need to do it anymore. It didn't help with anything, he thought. But deep down he enjoyed it and will never admit to it either. He was fine though don't worry.

He had a constant voice in his head. Telling him to do things that he would never imagine doing. Yoongi called this voice his true voice. He believed everyone had one. He described it as the part of yourself that's evil and just a tad bit sadistic. He was beyond terrified when his voice first appeared when he was 8.

"Yoonie~" The little child was hiding under his bed, eyes clenched shut, small prayers escaping his mouth in a whisper as his brother was searching for him. He hated his brother. He always wanted to play house but Yoongi didn't like that game. Why couldn't they play Uno like everyone else? Yoongi was also always the mom and he found that so dumb since he wasn't a girl.

Tears began to brim his eyes as he felt as ankle being grabbed, causing his body to be yanked out from his safe place. As his father would say, Yoongi was royally fucked.

Screaming and thrashing, Yoongi tried to break free, but he was too weak. He had to let it happen. He hated his brother but his brother seemed to enjoy the game due to the sounds he would make. However, Yoongi was in a lot of pain. He could feel himself begin to bleed. But don't worry Yoongi was fine.

Laying lifeless on his Kumamon bed after such events, a sudden noise began to ring through his ears.

-Don't worry, I'll protect you from now on.

Beginning to sniffle, he curled into a ball. He hated his life. He wanted change so bad. Wanting to leave forever and never come back. But this is what he has to deal with for another year and then it's off to North America.

One more year.