bite [my.pj]

ch. 6

There was blood everywhere. On the floor, on my clothes, on my wrists.

I started to self harm again. Why? I honestly don't know. My body has been itching and aching for me to do it. It's almost like I'm not in control sometimes. My wrist are burning along with my thighs, my stomach, and my upper arm. I couldn't stop. Just kept going and going.

-You didn't do enough. How pathetic. It's not even that deep. Just a mere cat scratch. At least now you have a reason to cover up your fat body you piece of shit. And next time, we are going so much deeper. You can't succeed at anything but at least you can try to succeed at cutting yourself.

Getting up, I clean the mess and take a shower. The water instantly turned red from the nonstop bleeding. It just won't stop. I make sure to clean the wounds properly before getting out and putting my clothes to the bottom of the washing machine, making sure that they are completely covered and out of sight. Then, I put ointment on the cuts, getting dressed into long sleeves and of course long pajama pants.

My brother isn't home at the moment and I have no idea as to where my mom is. Sighing, I lay down in my bed and curl up, starting to cry silently. What the hell is happening to me?

A loud knock at the door is what woke me up. I groggily get out of bed and walk to the front door, opening it only to reveal the other person that's been on my mind these days.

"Hey kitten~" He winks.

"H-Hi." I say, folding my arms in to cover myself up. It got really cold.

"May I come in?" My eyes widen and I step outside, shutting the door behind me. "S-S-Sorry, my eomma doesn't like people she doesn't know coming in." He pouts, making the familiar ruby red appear on my cheeks.

"Aish, that's fine. Anyways! Wait, why are you wearing long sleeves it's like 32 degrees?"

Shit.

"O-Oh uh, I think I'm coming d-down with something so I've been v-very cold lately." Hopefully that was good enough.

"Awh~ Hope you feel better kitten~ Oh! You should come over to my home~ I'll take care of you!" I ponder on the offer. It's not like I'm doing anything right now. "U-Uh sure Jimin, but you sure I won't be a bother?"

"Not one bit kitten~"

We walk over to his home, somewhere along the way my hand got really warm again. I look down to see him holding my hand. His hand is so tiny while mine is long and slender. I smile a genuine smile, giggling to myself quietly.

"What's so funny Yoongi-ah?" I furrow my eyebrows and pout. "Honorifics you twat!" He giggles and ruffles my hair. "Meanie." I pout, yanking my hand away as he opens the door for me.

"Ahhhh you're so cute kitten, so tempting to eat you all up." My face flushes at that statement, causing me to smack his arm lightly. "Y-Yah!" He chuckles and takes me to his couch.

"Alright, so you really need to rest but I can tell you have been because it looks like you just got out of bed, am I correct?" I nod, my cheeks tinted pink.

"Alright then, so, do you want to watch something? Play something? What does my kitten want to do~?" I hesitate on answering but I feel like he would be willing to do this. Plus fuck man I need it.

"C-Can we c-c-cuddle Jiminie? A-And watch Sailor Moon?" Suddenly he makes a weird noise, causing me to yelp and jump. "What!? What's wrong!?"

"Ah nothing kitten just my goodness I didn't think you could get any cuter~~" I roll my eyes and puff my cheeks.

"But of course we can kitten, but may I ask why you want this request?"

I bite my lip and look down.

"Namjoon-ah doesn't give me affection anymore... and I really need it Jiminie..." I say, my voice cracking a bit. I jump a bit again when I feel strong arms wrap around me, getting goosebumps when I feel a hot breath on my neck.

"Oh Yoongi, why are you even with him?" I lean back into Jimin's warmth, closing my eyes. He feels so nice.

"B-Because he loves me...?" His grip suddenly gets a little tighter, making my body go stiff, but as fast as it tightened, it went back to being relaxed.

"Yoongi.... that man doesn't love you and he sure as hell doesn't deserve your love. You deserve to be treated like royalty, not some peasant to step on when they feel like it." I tear up a bit, nodding to his words.

But he was so wrong.

I do deserve the way Namjoon treats me. I don't deserve this affection I'm getting by Jimin right now. In fact I have a boyfriend yet here I am cuddling with another man that's not my own.

I suddenly get up, standing in front of Jimin.

"Coming here was a mistake I'm sorry. Please don't ever talk to me again." I say quickly before running out the door back into my own home only to be met with my brother.

"Thank god you're here, I'm super horny."

This is what I deserve.

-And you are so right.