i never wanted to be thinking this loud - awsten knight x reader

~one~

i'm laid on my back in the middle of my bedroom floor, headphones on and music blasting so loud i can barely hear my own thoughts. that's good. i don't want to hear them. they're driving me insane. i'm trying to block them out. school was awful today. the thought of it brings tears to my eyes.
~flashback~
i was walking to my locker after the end of the day, my books in my hand, when i feel somebody grab my wrist, and push me up against the other lockers. gabriella smith. the girl who has being bullying me for years. just thinking of her name makes me want to vomit. she's one of the most popular girls in school, and has dated almost all of the jocks, because she's a cheerleader. she's dated all my brothers friends, but my brother rejected her. i think that's another reason she hates me. probably just added to it. "what do you want?" i ask sheepishly and she pulls on my hair. "just wanted you to know you're a fucking loser. and it's no wonder you've got no friends." i know she's lying, but it didn't make it hurt any less. i suddenly feel a sharp pain across my cheek and realise that she'd slapped me. she kicksi me in both of my shins, making me fall to the floor. "serves you right, you ugly whore." she snickers as her and her group of bitches walk past, each of them kicking me as they leave. i'm in so much shock i can't cry. instead i just sit there silently in pain.  i look up and notice people staring at me. i glance to the side and notice a boy, with bright purple hair, staring down at me. he doesn't say anything and then walks off. not rudely, he just seemed like he didn't really know what to do. i hate to admit it, he was kinda cute. i notice he's wearing a flowery blue shirt, black skinny jeans and pastel pink vans. i really like it. he's shaking his head as he starts to run off, but i don't think much of it. eventually my friends pete and patrick and dallon found me, along with my older brother, brendon and they help me up, and we all go to patrick's for a bit, me hiding the fact i was silently crying to myself. after a few hours i get dropped at home and run straight to my bedroom.
~end of flashback~
that was over 3 hours ago. i haven't eaten anything either. i don't want to. i think i'd rather starve to death. brendon brought me up a bowl of noodles, but i haven't eaten them. he left me as i am. headphones on, laid in the middle of the floor. i don't want to speak to my mom or dad either. they wouldn't care. i'm definitely the least favourite out of us two. tears start streaming down my face, and eventually it gets to the point where my face is probably red raw. i turn off my music and take my headphones off, and i hear a knock at my bedroom door. "y/n. are you ok." it's brendon. "i don't wanna talk about it b. i'm fine." my voice wavers and i start sobbing again. he opens the door and sits beside me. "it's ok. i'm here now. i'll take care of you." i look up at him. "why does everyone hate me bren?" i ask. he sighs. "i really don't know n/n." i start crying even more as he strokes my hair. "it's ok. i'll protect you. especially from that bitch." he says. i giggle slightly and he squeezes me tighter. "i love you. don't listen to her at all. she's jealous of you." he says. "i love you too brenny. you're the best big brother ever." i say.

after sitting like that for a few more minutes, he taps me on the shoulder. "y/n? are you asleep?" he asks. i shake my head. "it's almost nine thirty. you should probably get some sleep." he says. i nod and he stands up. "night y/n. sleep well." he says, before leaving slowly and going back to his room. i love the relationship i have with my older brother. he understands me better than anybody else. more than any of my friends. he's always stood by me, and protects me all the time. i was the first person he told when he came out, and i was really proud of him. whenever i'm sad or sick he'll look after me. i stand up and quickly put on some pyjamas. i go brush my teeth and get into bed. it's not long before i eventually drift off to sleep. i keep slipping in and out of dreams of what happened at school, but one apparent memory keeps popping up.
the purple haired boy

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Hello guys, first chapter done. i really hope you enjoy this story, and it'll be my first full length fanfic, so i'm not sure where it'll go to be honest.