i never wanted to be thinking this loud - awsten knight x reader

~ten~

TW: mentions of abuse.
Y/N pov.
~it's about 3 weeks later~
Awsten and I have been dating for just over three weeks. I'm surprised we lasted more than a day. Eventually everyone found out that we were going out. Tomorrow, Saturday night, Dallon decided we should have a sleepover, and made it a rule we have to dress in animal onesies, because we're all actual five year olds. So currently, Awsten and I are walking round the mall, hand in hand, trying to find matching onesies. "Hmm. What about (your favourite animal) onesies?" I suggest. He shrugs his shoulders. "I think we should go as dogs. I love dogs." I know this as he constantly talks about his dog, and says he'd love to have hundreds when he's older. "Sure Aws. I like dogs too." I reply, squeezing his hand. We go through some stores, until we eventually find somewhere that actually does sell them. I can't help but laugh when I go try mine on. "Aws. I look ridiculous!" I yell. I step out and he bursts into fits of uncontrollable laughter. It's so contagious I can't help but start to laugh myself. "It looks great." He says through his little laughs. "Thanks. Now it's your turn!" I say, turning round to get changed again. I step out of the changing room, noticing that he's gone, so I wait for him to come out. After a while he steps out and looks really sad. "I look stupid Y/N." He says. "No you don't Aws. You look like my cute little puppy, and it's only for fun. Don't worry bout it." I say. He suddenly grows a huge grin on his face. He steps forward to hug me, making us both feel way better about it. We pay for the onesies and leave the store, walking round the rest of the mall. We stop at the food court, and then go to the mother of all things emo, Hot Topic. We have to. It's like our second home. We don't really look for anything in particular, just having a browse, until I see the cutest matching Hogwarts house hoodies. We took the pottermore quiz together, and he was really annoyed that he got hufflepuff, so I keep bringing it up to him. I'm a (your hogwarts house, if you don't know just be a hufflepuff too) "Aws! Look at those hoodies!" I tug on his arm as he looks at the hair dyes. "Yeah they're nice I guess." He says. "Can we get them? Please?" I pull the best puppy dog eyes I can and he laughs at me. "Okay." He says, rolling his eyes. I get them off the rack, and we both try them on. "It looks so good on you!" I say, making him blush. "It looks even better on you! Now let's go pay. And I need some more hair dye. I want to go green!" He says excitedly. We pay for the hoodies, and we both get more hair dye, blue for me, bright green for him. We drive back to my house, and I get my things from the back of his car. "See you tomorrow." He says. "See you tomorrow Aws." I walk round to the drivers window and give him a kiss on the cheek, before looking up. My mom and dad are stood at the door. Fuck. I start walking up the drive, as Awsten drives away. "Who the fuck was that Y/N Urie?" My dad shouts, dragging me into the house. My mom slams the door and follows us. I don't say a word. He takes me to the kitchen and forces me to sit on a chair, my two parents standing above me. My dads face gets redder and redder and my mom looks disgusted at me. "TELL US!" He yells. I feel a sharp pain across my cheek and known my own father has slapped me. It's not the worst he's done. He's punched me, kicked me, thrown things at me. It terrifies me, so I try to stay as well behaved as possible. He's even threatened to kill me. I'm surprised he hasn't already. Tears immediately spring to my eyes. "Is he your boyfriend?" My mom asks. I nod, sobbing. "You slut." I nod again, not wanting to annoy them more. "Pack your bags. You're leaving." My dad says, extremely seriously. "What?" I say between sobs. "You heard. You think that your boyfriend is going to love you forever so don't come running back to us when he breaks your heart. We told you specifically no boyfriends until you've left and you've disobeyed us you whore. Pack your bags and get out!" He shouts. I bite my lip and start walking to my bedroom. Brendon is sat at the top of the stairs, crying his eyes out. He notices me and stands up quickly, wrapping his arms round me tightly, rocking us back and forth. "I've already called Dallon. He's picking you up in 20 minutes. I'll come and visit you everyday, and I'll see you tomorrow anyway. I love you Y/N. I'll try talk to mom and dad, maybe even tell them about dallon and I." He says, tears streaming down his face. "Thanks bren. I love you too. Can you help me pack." I say quietly. He nods. We grab two big suitcases from the spare room, and start throwing my clothes in them. When basically all my things are packed up, we go downstairs. Mom and dad are hugging, my dad repeatedly saying "it's ok, we didn't do anything wrong. We're good parents." I scoff to myself. I get a text, signalling Dallon is outside. Brendon helps me carry my things out to the car, and I get in the front seat, all three of us crying now. "See you later bren. Love you." He smiles weakly. "Love you too. Take care of her dallon." Dallon nods and we drive off, leaving a sobbing Brendon outside the house. "It's ok Y/N. You can stay with me as long as you want. You know we don't mind." I give him a faint smile. "Can I invite Awsten to stay round?" I stutter quietly. He nods. "Of course. Just no funny business." He chuckles but I just burst into sobs again, knowing that's the reason I've been thrown out. He sighs. "I'm sorry. I'll just shut up." I shake my head. "It's not your fault."
The short rest of the car journey is silent. We pull up to his house, and take my bags up to the spare room. Dallons parents are always away on business trips so it doesn't really matter that I'm staying over. "Awstens still able to stay." Dallon says, walking downstairs. I sit on the bed which I'll probably be sleeping on for a while, and get out my phone, immediately texting Awsten.
Y/N: Can u come to Dals and stay over? Xx
Awsey💕: ofc. Why are u there? Xx
Y/N: tell u when u get here. Bring snacks and ur stuff for tomorrow xx
Awsey💕: way ahead of you xx
I smile at my phone, and wait for Awsten to arrive. There's a knock at the door, and before I can get up to go answer it, Awsten is stood at the bedroom doorway, a bag in each hand. "Brendon called and told me what happened. I'm sorry." I burst into tears yet again, knowing it's not his fault. He drops the two bags he was holding and runs over to the bed, throwing his arms around me. He kisses the top of my head, rocking us back and forth, reassuring me everything is fine. "It's going to be ok. I'm here. Don't worry." All of a sudden four words fall out of my mouth and I can't do anything to stop myself. "I love you Awsten." He goes silent for a few moments. I've messed everything up now. I start freaking out and he squeezes me tighter, sensing that I need to be calmed down. "I love you too Y/N." And from that moment I had a sense of knowing that somehow everything will be alright. As long as I've got Awsten.

Hi again. It me. I've just got a few things to say, you can skip ahead if you'd like. So I saw k-12 in the cinema the other day (it's so good, currently on the 4th time watching it), and my favourite songs are Show & Tell and Class Fight, I got tickets to go see Palaye Royale live next year, and I'm thinking of telling her soon. Also, if this books ever gets to over 1000 reads I might possibly do a face reveal, just because I feel like it, and this books doing better than I thought it would. Genuinely thought the only reads would be my friends to take the piss out of me. Anyway have a nice rest of your day, and I hope you're enjoying the book so far. 💕