Issue 9: Fireside Chat

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"I'd introduce myself but I'm sure you already know who I am and you need no introduction." I said. "If I told you it was an honor would you believe me or would you assume I was lying based on who my predecessor was?" Superman just floated there silently. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were Batman." I said.

"I'm just trying to figure out what to think of you." Superman finally said.

I started walking over to my desk. "I know you heard my official statement already but, I really am not like Lex." I pressed two buttons, one opening the window and one that made a drink mixer appear on my desk. "Care for a drink? Or is it impossible for you to get drunk?"

"I don't drink actually." Superman said.

"Tell me, did Lex ever let you into the room during your chats, or did he make you stay outside like an animal?" I asked. No response. I sighed and turned around. I was unfazed by the man who already towered above me without floating an extra foot being inches in front of me. "Look, I understand you don't trust me. You probably think I'm planning some sort of nefarious for world domination, but I'm not. All I'm concerned with is Metropolis. And furthermore, protecting Metropolis. And quite frankly I can't do it alone. So in time, I hope I can prove my worth and earn your trust." I said extending a hand.

"Sorry if I have my eye on you when you were seen with both Mercy Graves and Roulette earlier today." Superman said.

"Oh, yes. Two of Lex's associates."

"And Former Criminals Wanted by the Justice League."

"I'm sure you've heard the earth expression you're gonna have to break a few eggs to make an omelet? Well I'm going to have to utilize some bad eggs to make an omelet." I said. "Look, I'm sure you heard once Lex Luthor claimed he could've turned the world into a Utopia if he didn't have an obsession with killing you? Well, I don't have that hate boner for you and I can at least turn Metropolis into a utopia. Now I've tried being friendly with you but if you're not going to return the same generosity I'm going to ask you politely to vacate the premises." Superman stared at me with studying eyes one more time before flying out the window. I closed it before sighing. "Thank god Superman's powers are nullified in this building." I said to myself. Specifically speaking: his x Ray vision, super hearing, and pretty much everything except his flight and super strength.


. . .

"So do you feel like cooperating yet?" I asked Frost as I leaned against a wall and she sat on her bed.

"Bite me."

"Ugh, listen, I had a long boring day of pretending to be a good guy and the last thing I need is to sit here and for you to give me attitude. You could be a little more grateful, y'know. I brought you back to life, took you away from Waller-"

"Just to lock me in another cell, only this time I don't get the pleasure of murdering random dickheads on suicide missions."

"You could murder people on non-suicide missions, you just have to work for me. It's not even a bad deal. I'm willing to pay you for God's sake!" I exclaimed.

"You're missing the point. I don't want to work for anyone but myself. I'm the god damn boss of my life! No one else!" I rolled my eyes.

"So melodramatic."

"Excuse me!?"

"While you reconsider, which I advice you do: I had one of my other assistants go out and get you some new clothes." I said before calling for Mercy to bring in the clothes.

"Oh how generous. I was enjoying being stuck in some goth girl's little panties."

"Y'know we don't have to be doing this." Mercy said.

"Yeah, that's right! You don't have to keep me locked in here! You could, I don't know, fucking let me go!?"

"We could... If you agree to work for me." I said."

"FUCK OFF!" Louise shouted in anger.

"Well it seems we've overstayed our welcome. Same time tomorrow, then?" I asked before closing the door to her cell.

"Can't we just move on without her? Do we really need a person with ice powers that bad?" Mercy asked me.

"We're dealing with an alien with every super power a midwestern American from the 1930's could possibly think of plus his cousin, clone and son with the same powers and by proxy, every single superhero on the planet and even some who aren't on the planet. Not to mention I'm sure the Legion isn't exactly on speaking terms with us right now. So we're going to need all the help we can get, which leads us to our next deal of business. Come with me." I told Mercy. I rounded up Manta and Cold and brought them into my workshop.

"Alright, Bossman, what's the good word?" Cold asked.

"Well gentlemen, as you know, I want to help you all take care of your separate pains in the asses as well as get you as 'loaded' as Mr. Luthor left me. However we can't take out our foes whether they're men of steel, kings of a lost city, or scarlet speedsters if they have an army of hundreds of other super powerful allies to assist them. That's why we're going to need to create our own army of fellow ne'er-do-wells to even the odds as much as possible. Of course there's myself, Manta, Mercy, Silver Banshee, Sapphire if she decides to show, Deathstroke, and hopefully Frost will come around. However, we're still going to have to increase our numbers if we plan on succeeding with our future goals."

"And I'm pretty sure every member of the Legion wants to have us hanged, drawn and quartered."

"And every villain not in the Legion isn't worth a damn. So how do you suppose we fix this?"

"I'm glad you asked." I told Manta before opening up my lab. "I'm sure you're all familiar with the invasion of Earth-3? Well I have here a portal to every single reality in the multiverse. With this: we can easily find new recruits with no prior allegiance to any of the heroes or villains of this Earth. Some more possibly powerful than even the Kryptonians. I've managed to get this far in its creation by myself but I'm also going to need a couple of more hands about as brilliant as mine to help me finish putting it together."

"Sounds like a plan, Chief." Cold said.

"Good we can start now."

. . .

We spent hours working on the portal before I called it a night. I went back up to my office to enjoy the night. Mercy decided to follow me up.

"So that's your plan? You're going to make your own Legion out of random psychos from different Earths?"

"More or less."

"What would you even call them? The Injustice League?"

"Don't be ridiculous... The Legion took that one too. I'm sure Cheetah and her animal brain came up with that one." I said. To my surprise Mercy let out a stiff chuckle. Like a joyous "hmph".

"...Hey, I was thinking, maybe we could-" Mercy began to say before all of the sudden a bunch of heavily armored soldiers broke into the office. They all pointed their guns at me and restrained Mercy. "HEY! LET ME GO YOU SONS OF BITCHES!"

"Oh, great." I said with dozens of red dots pointed at me.

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