fifty-eight

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The next day, on his birthday, he wakes up to burning heat sweltering in his core.

What? he thinks, and then says it out loud too, sleepy and muffled by the fact that this early in the morning he doesn't exactly have control of his muscles. He opens his eyes, the world blurry and focusing slowly. The first thing he sees is Harry sitting on top of him.

He's fumbling with something in his hands, very intent on whatever it is. Sliding it onto Louis' hardness. A condom. He sits back on Louis' thighs, giving him a cordial and innocent, "Good morning, Daddy."

"What the fuck are you doing?" Louis groans, and it sounds slow and groggy because that's exactly what he is right now, slow and groggy in the morning just moments after opening his eyes. Harry is stroking him softly and it makes his head spin. The world feels as though it's careening dangerously off the edge of something big.

"Giving you your birthday present," Harry tells him. Sometimes he speaks like this and makes himself sound younger. It's kind of freaky, kind of wrong.

"What the hell," Louis groans, throwing his arm over his eyes. Right now, he just can't handle the sight of Harry on him. It's just too much, this early in the morning. "What time is it?"

"Why does it matter, Daddy? Don't worry about it. This is just about you, and me. About us. Nothing else."

Louis can't handle the sight of him and he also can't handle the sound of him either, calling him Daddy. He turns his head to the side and sees the hotel alarm clock glowing with green numbers. 7:27 AM. Harry really woke him up at 7:27 AM just to ride him. Insane.

The thing is, he doesn't ask, Is this alright? Are you okay with this? No, he doesn't say a thing, just lines Louis' dick up at his entrance and sinks down slowly, moaning all the while. Isn't that wrong? Where is the consent?

Not that he doesn't want this, but it concerns Louis, this lack of a mutual decision between the two of them to have sex. It's clear Harry doesn't see any merit to that, or maybe he just doesn't know it's the standard between two people who are decidedly not in a relationship.

Oh well. They'll have to talk about it later, but not now, not when Harry is pausing halfway down and setting his palms on Louis' stomach to support himself as he hovers over his hips. Not now, when he curls his fingers, nails digging in a little to Louis' skin and leaving crescent moon impressions. Not now, when he's breathing heavily and biting his lips and letting his hair fall all over his face, making him look wild and beautiful.

He doesn't understand Harry, not at all. No way in hell. Because he's so quiet and tentative about all that he does. Always worrying and apologizing, afraid he'll be yelled at due to the slightest thing, mistake or no mistake. That makes sense, because he grew up in an extremely volatile environment with parents who chastised him and punished him for doing nothing at all. Now, he's learned to expect it. What doesn't make sense are moments like these, when he demands things or even just takes them without asking.

Maybe other people have done this with him before, and that's why he thinks it's okay. Clearly he likes rough sex, even when it hurts a lot, and Louis doesn't think that's something exactly natural in human nature. He could've been conditioned into enjoying it, or at least thinking he enjoys it, and that's why he craves it so much. Because people like Roman trained him to crave it.

Rejecting Harry now would probably cause him more harm than good. So he doesn't. Instead, he sets his hands heavy on Harry's hips, keeping him steady. Supporting him.

"You're too good for me, baby," Louis sighs, because it's easy to fall into it, it's easy to pretend they're in a relationship or in love even and his long term boyfriend is waking him up with reverent birthday sex like a present. It's easy to pretend because Louis can see this future for them, even if Harry can't. Even if Harry hasn't thought of it at all.

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