seventy-three

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Dozing off is a strange experience because in the fading light between sleep and wake, it's difficult to decipher reality from dream. Louis hears familiar voices speaking in hushed tones, and he wonders if it's real.

It's his mum's voice, saying, "Darling, can I say something to you?"

He feels more than hears the next voice. Harry. Louis is curled up against his side, with Harry's warm, heavy arm wrapped around his shoulder. He feels safe and secure, protected from the world. "Of course, of course." He sounds startled, caught off guard.

"I want to be honest with you dear, and say that Louis hasn't told me much, but he did mention one thing. He told me a bit about your family, and that you aren't close to them. That they don't really support you."

Harry is very still and quiet, but as Jay speaks, Louis can feel Harry tensing up his arm around Louis, his body going rigid.

"I just wanted you to know," Jay continues, her voice soft but serious, "that if you ever need family, or a place to stay, or someone to support you, you will always have me, and Louis, and our family. We're willing to reach out and help, if ever you need it, or want it."

"Thank you," Harry breathes, rubbing his fingers in small circles on Louis' arm. It's funny, because the action is traditionally meant to soothe the one whose skin is being rubbed, but right now it seems that Harry is the one who finds it soothing. Louis finds he likes it that Harry finds comfort in being near him. Something like pride swells in his chest, filling him with satisfaction.

"Whether you're just friends or something more with Louis, you're a part of our family if you want to be."

Harry's fingers still momentarily. He keeps them pressed into Louis' bicep, not hard, just a constant pressure that shows he's there. Louis' skin tingles beneath his fingertips. "Thank you. That really means a lot."

"And I... I want to tell you something else. About Louis."

Harry doesn't say anything, just gives her the space to speak.

"He's different with you. He's never been like this before. It's hard for me to admit it to myself, but he's been... He's been pretty bad for a while. It's great to see him better, more like his usual self. Because of you. I'm not sure how much he told you about what happened, because he's a very private boy so I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't mention it, but-"

"The pictures?"

Louis remains very still, heart thudding heavily in his chest. He hadn't known his mother worried about him so much, or even noticed a change in him... It must have been more apparent than he thought.

"Yes, dear, what his ex-boyfriend did to him. You know what happened?"

He feels Harry nod. "He told me."

"I'm surprised. He doesn't talk about it with just anyone. That's good, though. Great, even. I think he needed to get it off his chest. My point is that he's been bad for a while now, feeling down. It seems like depression to me but I never wanted to say anything in case I was wrong. I mean, I'm not an expert. But I've noticed a change, since you've moved in with him. I could call it a coincidence, but that would just be me being purposefully obtuse."

"I don't know what to say."

"Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. I haven't seen him this happy in a while. He enjoys your company. You take care of him in just the way he needs—I know it, and I hope you do too."

"He takes care of me, " Harry protests weakly, voice deep and whisper-soft like velvet. It's like he can't believe the simple truth that he does take care of Louis just like Jay said, even if it isn't explicitly purposeful. "He's good to me. I've never met anyone like him. I don't deserve him."

"Oh honey," Jay soothes. "You do deserve him. Two sweet boys with all this love in their hearts... You deserve each other."

Louis snuggles closer to Harry's warmth, sighing in pleasure. Harry comforts him by rubbing his arm a bit more. Then he reaches up and brushes back Louis' fringe with a certain gentleness that cannot be feigned. He runs his fingers through his hair a few times. The motion sends chills down Louis' spine. He sinks even more into Harry's hold.

"Now, I'm gonna wake the girls up and we'll leave you two in peace now. Tell Lou we'll back tomorrow around lunchtime, alright? We wanna go shopping, all of us together."

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Sounds good. Thank you."

Jay kisses Harry and Louis on the forehead, saying her farewells.

"See you tomorrow, then," Harry says, quiet enough so as not to wake Louis who is already awake but he doesn't know it.

"Good night, Harry," Jay calls as she ushers the sleepy girls outside and shuts the door behind her.

The apartment is filled with only the sound of the heater, and the Pride and Prejudice menu screen playing softly in the background. Louis likes the hum of the classical music because it reminds him of watching this movie with his mum, years ago when he was much younger and still lived at home with her.

Harry sits on the couch for a long while, so long that Louis thinks he'll fall asleep and they'll stay there all night.

Eventually, however, Harry eases himself up, hauling Louis with him until he's standing and Louis is in his arms. It must not be easy to maneuver his deadweight but he manages without a noticeable struggle. The way Harry takes care of him... It makes Louis feel a lot of different emotions, all at once.

"C'mon Lou, time for bed," he whispers in his ear, carrying him down the hall to Louis' bedroom and depositing him carefully in bed.

Harry disappears for a minute. Louis can only hear the sound of footsteps down the hall, then the noise of a door opening, more footsteps, door closing, footsteps down the hall again and back in the room. He waits with bated breath. Though it shouldn't, really, it surprises Louis when Harry slips into bed next to him.

Harry scoots backwards on the mattress, pressing his back into Louis' front until they're spooning. He takes Louis' limp arm and drapes it over his waist, grasping his hand by his stomach and entangling their fingers. Harry sighs happily once he's settled. It's then that Louis realizes he's holding the pink stuffed bunny in his other hand, he one Louis bought him as an impulse purchase from the store. He's clutching it to his chest.

Louis wants to say something about it but he's still pretending to be asleep. Harry is still and quiet and he could very well be asleep as well. It's when Louis realizes something he forgot that he drops the facade and says in a sleepy voice, "Didn't get off today."

"What?" Harry whispers, not sounding at all startled that Louis is speaking when he should be asleep. To be fair, it sounds as though Louis just woke up, because his voice is hoarse and raspy.

"Didn't give you your orgasm today."

"Oh. That's alright," Harry murmurs. "We were close enough this morning."

"You sure?"

"Mhm. I got off in the shower, just now. Besides, we can double up tomorrow."

Louis tries not to think about Harry getting himself off earlier today, when they got back from ice skating and Louis ordered takeout while Harry took a shower to "warm himself up" from their day outside in the cold, which apparently meant jacking off or even sticking a few fingers up his ass...

"'M still sorry about this morning. I could suck you off right now, though, if you want? Quick and easy orgasm."

"Don't be sorry, it's fine. Was annoying but I'm over it now. And that's a really tempting offer but I'd honestly just rather go to bed."

"Okay babe, if that's what you want."

"It is. Good night, Lou."

"Night, darling."

Harry snuggles closer, humming a little noise of sleepy pleasure.

Knowing Harry is happy, Louis falls asleep without an issue.


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