Freak Bitch//Bluek47

Chapter 4

Johnathan

I haven't done shit for the past three days. Nick stopped by to check on me a few times, sometimes he brought Ken, other than that I've been by myself.

At first, it took a while to convince everyone that I wasn't sad because I couldn't fuck Tay. It's more about who Taymor reminds me of. It's more about the fact that Tay could get hurt if he fucks with me. It's about my parents, Chris, my sexuality, just everything.

Before I could pull the covers over my head and continue wallowing in self-pity there was a knock at my door. I opened it to reveal a tired looking Taymor.

"I brought food."

I nodded and stepped to the side letting him in.

"I um- I would've come by sooner but I had to work, so I just came straight after. I want you to talk to me."

"Talk to you about what?"

"What's wrong with you? You say it's not me and that it's deeper than that but you won't tell me anything else. I don't like seeing you like this."

I could tell that he was being genuine but I really didn't wanna talk about anything right now.

"I really don't wanna talk about it right now. You can stay if you want to though."

He shrugged in response and started changing into some of my clothes.

"Whenever you do wanna open up just tell me."

"Ight."

Soon all of the tension left the room and we were seated on the floor watching and making fun of old Western movies while playing Uno. Midway through our game, his phone started ringing.

"Hey ma." He beamed smiling and laughing as their conversation continued.

I watched with a small smile on my face. I'm not gon lie it hurt a little to watch. Their seemingly wholesome relationship is something that I've never had and would probably never experienced. I was pulled out of my thoughts when he began poking my cheek.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"Like what?"

"All goofy and shit." He laughed as he mimicked me, pulling the stupidest smile that he possibly could.

"Oh no reason, you and your mom's conversation made me happy," I said truthfully. "It's nice to see healthy relationships between parents and their kids."

"Oh yeah, we have a pretty good relationship. Don't you?"

"Me? My parents? Hell nah. They can kick rocks. Draw eight, bitch." I chuckled a little at his hurt expression.

"I should beat yo scrawny ass. But why you say that?"

I took a quick moment to think about my answer before I started talking my shit.

"Hellooo nigga I asked you a question." He sassed while waving one of them lil nasty ass hands in my face.

"I was getting there, damn. Anyways, I guess we've always had issues that just got worse as I got older. I just- I don't know."

I paused to see if he was still listening. he sent a comforting smile my way prompting me to continue so I did.

"They're just horrible. First off they're homophobic, so homophobic to the point where they tried raising me up on that shit. For so long I used to think that liking the same sex in any way was gon' get me killed or sent straight to hell. I used to be so disgusted with my self. Then I hit middle school and all that changed. I mean I was never on that homophobic bullshit. I didn't really give a fuck about what the next person was doing. Of course, that raised some suspicions with my parents and I was even sent to a conversion camp for a little."

"Damn I'm sorry Blue." He gave me a small hug that I gladly accepted.

It got quiet for a while aside from our occasional outburst during the game. I didn't mind the silence though because I personally feel that if you can't share a comfortable silence with someone then y'all don't rock with each other for real.

"Say Blue, how did you know that you liked boy pussy?" He bluntly asked. I swear this child was born without any kind of filter.

"First off, don't say it like that but um I didn't find out until I was about fifteen."

"Tell me about it."

"Well, It was this boy named Chris. I actually met him in kindergarten 10 years prior, he was truly my best friend. Anyways, one night, maybe a month or so after I got my heart broken by my longtime girlfriend Monica, Chris decided to take me out somewhere. There was obviously some romantic tension on both ends but neither of us knew how to handle it. We um- we went on a few more dates and agreed to keep things platonic until both parties were fully comfortable. The longer we dated the more tense things got until we ultimately had sex. But that's a story for a different time. I don't really wanna continue."

"It's cool you don't have to." He said as he got up to lay across my bed.

"You know what let's talk about you. Are you straight, bi, pan, what?"

"I'mma keep it a buck witchu', I don't really know. I mean I used to think I was straight as fuck but you make me reconsider."

"Awwww I got you all in yo feelings? That's cute."

I laid on top of him and started pinching his cheeks. I laughed as he slapped my hands away.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you ain't special."

"Sure I'm not. I'll warn you though if you catch yourself falling for me, tell me and fall back. Just up and disappear if you need to. But I'm not someone you can love and I want you to know that now before you get hurt." I said in all seriousness. Tay would really get Himself into some bullshit if he started loving me.

"Okay, noted."

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Sorry if this was a lil boring but it was just a filler. I'll try to update consistently. I hope you enjoy this book.
-Troi 🥶💙