One last word (AU)

Can I really be happy..?

A/N: THIS CHAPTER DEALS WITH THE SUBJECTS OF SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, ETC. READER DISCRETION IS HIGHLY ADVISED. I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE ACTIONS TAKEN IN THIS CHAPTER SO PLEASE DO NOT REPEAT.

*Shuichi POV*
I sat and watched out the window as kokichi laid in my lap, oblivious to anything around him. I pet his hair like a dog and kissed his cheek. His face was still tear stained from his breakdown earlier. He was cuter than words could ever describe. Nothing could describe how much I love you kokichi.. he lifted his head up, obviously tired from just awakening then looked at me and sat up. As he did so he hugged me tightly. I felt we could have a happy new life together.

*time skip, 3 days later, 7:50 PM, kokichi POV*

I stood in silence, looking out the balcony and resting my head head on the support bar. I sighed. Shuichi left to pick up groceries. Saying he'd be back soon and leaving me alone.
Alone.
Such a negative word if you think. But everyone's alone. Everyone has something wrong going on that will remain hidden to anyone on the outside. Hidden by a mask. Ever since I met Shuichi years ago, I've dropped my mask. He's the only person I've let in, and he didn't know the half of it. He's finally found out.
He thinks less of you for it
N-no... stop...
He hates you
Not again... not now...
Worthless piece of shit
Every time. Every damn time.
Stupid
Worthless
Die
Mistake
Disappointment
Useless
Loveless
Dammit... n-no...
No...
Just jump already.
I looked over the support beam. This was the highest floor other than the roof.
I'm not going to let it get to me. I can't leave Shuichi... he'd hurt so much...

He wouldn't care
Nobody would
Before I noticed I was sobbing. It.. it hurts.. I can't do this. If he hates me... h-he doesn't need me......
I glanced over the beam one last time. Seeing how far of a drop it was.

Go ahead Kokichi. You've lost.

"I-I need to leave a note if I'm gonna do this..."
I quickly wrote a note.

Quietly stepping over the beam that protected me from falling I glanced down.

Goodbye. Goodbye Thoughts. Goodbye Memories. Goodbye mom. Goodbye friends. Goodbye Shuich-

"KOKICHI GET THE FUCK DOWN FROM THERE!!"

I was yanked off the beam into someone familiar's arms.

Sh-shuichi......

"Why the fuck were you gonna do that... you can't do that to me why would you...... I love you I care about you don't leave me like that I was terrified... walking in seeing you standing on the beam... Kokichi why........" he sobbed into my shirt, clutching me tightly and refusing to let go.
I shouldn't have let my damn thoughts get to me. I can't leave Shuichi. No matter how much I'm hurting.

"P-please don't do that I was scared... I could've been too late..."
He sobbed harder thinking of the possibility

"I-I... my t-thoughts they got the b-best of me I'm s-so s-s-sorry Shuichi..." I cried into his shoulder. He picked me up then gently laid me down in bed. He cuddled next to me, still crying. Then clutched my midsection, obvious he won't be letting go. I smiled, forced and feeble but I smiled. I know he loves me. I know he cares.. I can't hurt him like that ever again. I can't let my emotions get the best of me like that and never again will I. I fell asleep with Shuichi's arms wrapped around my torso, as if he's hugging me from behind. I smiled, knowing he's there now.

*time skip. Next morning, Shuichi POV*

I awoke with my arms around Kokichi. He was snoring softly. Careful not to wake him up I attempted to remove my arms. Failing in the process. He clutched my arms tighter and pulled me close to him.
I had no choice but to wake him.

"Kokichi... wake up.. I need my arms back.."
His eyes fluttered open as he caught glimpse of his surroundings. He looked up at me then pecked me on the lips softly. I smiled at the gesture. I then looked up. I stood and changed my clothes as Kokichi did the same. He then looked down at the floor.

"Shuichi... I'm really sorry about yesterday I shouldn't have scared you like that. I love you"
I looked at him for a moment then picked him up in a large hug.

"You're not allowed to leave me. Not now, not ever." I stated softly in his ear.

"However I need to go back to the store, I gotta get another gallon of milk I dropped the gallon when I saw you on the ledge.."

He laid down.

"I won't move. I'll stay safe."

I glared at him.
"Nice try. Get your stuff and get in the car I'm driving. You're not allowed home alone"
He pouted and simply complied, grabbing his phone, wallet, and checkered scarf. We quietly rode the elevator down to the bottom floor where I climbed into my car with him in the passenger side. He instantly turned on the radio as I started the car and pulled out.

A/N: sorry for the really depressing and short chapter. I couldn't write anything happy and it just took a really dark turn. If anything is wrong in any of my chapters please correct it as it's late tonight so I can't proofread this. Goodnight💕