Palaye Royale Imagines

I'M (REALLY NOT) FINE (Remington Leith)

Trigger Warning: Depression, cutting, depressive thoughts, oop, v sad

Watch as I get carried away and make this not about just you and Rem at the end of this haha.

"Remington, you can't do this!" You yell.

"Do what?" He asks utterly confused.

"Pretend."

"What do you mean?"

"You just walk into my apartment pretending like you're fine, you act like nothing happened before this." You say closing the cupboard.

"I'm fine," Remington mumbles setting his phone on the table.

"So you want me to believe that. You always think saying you're fine will suddenly make it true."

You walk around the counter and stand by the table he's next to.

"It's not and I know that." He says sitting down at the table.

Remington sighs and stares at the wall. He had tried so hard to hide his stress and sadness but at this point, he didn't know how to.

You sat down next to him. You knew he was upset and wanted to help him. Maybe your approach was a bit harsher than expected. And even though he had shown he was upset he wouldn't tell you why. You knew he needed someone, and you wanted to be that person... You love him and hated to see him so upset.

"Remington you know you can tell me anything." You say softly.

He nods and looks at you. His eyes were teary and his face held so much pain... He just looked so broken...

"I- I just don't know how to describe it..." He says the first few tears making their way down his cheeks.

"Describe what?"

"Th-This, I don't know how to describe this, this feeling... I-I just I would randomly feel ho-horrible... It's b-been this way for a while and I never kn-knew why..."

"Why are you bringing it up now?" You ask.

"I ju-just never knew how to bring it u-up before... You al-always looked so happy w-when we hung out and I never wanted to ru-ruin that with my bullshit... I just never wanted to drag you down with me."

"Rem, your feelings are important, they're not bullshit at all. There's never a wrong time to speak up about anything that's been bothering you."

"I just assumed no-nobody would really care..." Remington sobs.

"Have you talked to your brothers about it?"

"No... Sebastian has al-always been busy or out drinking with Curcio and Em-Emerson has been either with Shy or in his room drawing... I-I never really wanted to bother them..." Rem says.

"You wouldn't be bothering them. I'm sure if you tell them they'll help you. They care about you a lot. I talked to Emerson and he's been a bit concerned about you recently." You say.

"He has?"

"He said he didn't want to force you into telling him anything so he's just waiting until you're ready."

"I guess I should talk to him sh-shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, I think he'd like that."

"R-Right, I'll try talking to him some time."

Your phone buzzes. You turn it on checking the notifications.

"Speaking of Emerson, he just texted asking if you were with me."

"Shit, I forgot to tell him I was leaving."

"It fine, I'll tell him." You say. 

Em: Is Rem with you?

You: Yeah, why?

Em: Just wondering, you know I've been worried about him.

You: I know you have, I feel like I should have noticed something was up before.

Em: He seems happier with you than at home

You: Really?

Em: He doesn't really talk to us about anything.

You: He said he didn't want to bother you guys.

Em: He did? 

You: Yeah, I told him he should talk to you about it.

Em: Did he tell you anything?

You: He told me a bit. Not too much.

Em: Okay.

You: Hopefully he talks to you about it, you'd probably know what to say more than I do.

Em: Alright I should get going

"I-I should go," Remington says.

"Okay, stay safe Rem. I love you."

You don't even notice you said that. You give him a hug but he doesn't hug back. You realize what you said and you look down still not wanting to let go.

"I- uh- I l-love you too..." He says softly

He hugs back but after a minute or so he pulls away and goes to the door to leave. He looks back at you with a sad smile and waves before leaving the apartment. Remington goes to his car and drives back to the house he shares with his brothers. He sighs and enters the house to see Sebastian and Emerson were nowhere to be seen. They must have been in their rooms. So Remington went to Emerson's room and knocked on the door. The door opens to reveal Emerson.

"I didn't think you'd be back so soon," Emerson says letting Rem in.

"I-I just wanted to talk to you..." Rem sighs.

"Well, how about we sit down first."

Emerson sits down on his bed and pats the spot next to him for Remington to sit down. Remington sits next to Emerson. He didn't know how to start.

"I haven't been the best recently and I just never knew how to bring it up... I don't know why these thoughts decided to come, especially now..." Remington began.

"What type of thoughts?"

"I just felt like no matter what I do it's never enough... I had gotten this sudden urge to hurt myself and I don't know why... I don't even understand my feelings anymore..."

"Did you? Did you hurt yourself Rem?" Em asks worried.

Remington starts tearing up he couldn't move or say anything.

"How bad?" Emerson asks.

"I-It's- I-I don't kn-know." Remington bursts into tears.

Emerson hugs Remington. He cried on Emerson's shoulder and Emerson let him... After a minute he calms down a bit and pulls away from the hug. Tears still fell down his cheeks.

"Are you comfortable with showing me it?" Emerson asks.

Rem nods and pulls his sleeves up. There were many cuts on both his wrists. Some were scabbing up and some were scars. Some were fresh yet most were close to a year or two old from before he relapsed. Emerson looked into his older brothers eyes, he saw the pain he held and he understood... He understood Remington needs someone... He needs help or he could do something worse than just self-harm...

"I-I'm sorry..." Remington says crying harder.

He was holding onto his hair tightly as he cried. He was broken, and he thought he could never be repaired. Yet you and Emerson were determined to try.

"You can come to me when you have the urge to do anything, I don't care how early or how late. I'll always be there..."

"T-Thanks, Em..."

And this was just the beginning of helping Remington... Even though it's hard, it'll be worth it for you guys to finally see a smile on his face...