The Alpha's Daydream ✔️

Chapter 34

4003 words

I grip the doorpost and feel his words smack into me like a tidal wave of relief. "Who?"

Malachi huffs and runs a hand through his hair, an action I've come to know means he's frustrated and agitated, tired of not being in control of the situation.

"It's complicated. Hamilton and I aren't even sure yet, but we're close. We can feel it."

"Then tell me who you're suspect of? Who do you think could have murdered your warriors so disgustingly?"

His eyes snap to mine, the blue a riot of crashing waves. "That's the point. It's a terrible accusation to make, so we're not calling it yet. We have to go over the facts again, see if there's anything we missed."

He looks tired, and troubled with the fact that he still hasn't yet found the person causing such crimes in his pack. As Alpha, he wants to protect everyone, I know.

"So do you think you can solve it? You'll be able to stop them before anyone else gets hurt, right?" I'd nearly forgotten about the threat to our lives, so caught up have I been with my own dilemmas with Malachi and the others around here. I've been so busy trying to be accepted, when I should be focused on keeping everyone safe.

"That's the plan." He takes a few steps away and I follow him again until we are in our room. "But that was also my plan before the warriors got killed. I couldn't save them, so who's to say I am going to save the next one?"

He looks at me with such turmoil and pain in his eyes, that it grabs at my heart and pulls me into his despair. I realise I am feeling his emotions, with his mark on my neck. However, I'm only getting a taste of what's going on in his head. His face is still used to wearing a mask, still hiding so much that I want to know and understand about my Alpha mate.

"You can't think like that, that someone is going to get hurt. You have to believe you'll catch them in time."

"There's no room for that kind of blind optimism when the matter is life or death. I can't risk failing my pack again." He sits on the edge of our bed and buries his face in his hands. "So many things are going on and I don't know how to handle it best for everyone's sake. It seems no matter what I do, someone is upset. Then I try something else, and someone else feels like I'm giving them the raw deal. I just.... I can't be the Alpha my father was, but whatever else I do just doesn't seem to be working either." He spills his inner turmoil through words, and I can't be more thankful that he's opening up to me.

I crawl onto the bed behind him and place my hands on his shoulders, lightly massaging them and his neck. I want to ease the stress from his posture and help him relax. He won't be able to think as clearly as possible if his body is tense and stressed.

"You can't please everyone," I say gently. "Just make a list of your priorities, care less what others think of you if you are sure you're doing the right thing by everyone." I place a kiss on top of his head, breathing deeply of his scent.

Chestnuts mingled with tropical coconut. My wolf is melting in delight and I wrap my arms around my mate, giving him a tight squeeze. "Come on, looks like you need some sleep."

He nods, and we silently prepare for bed, sharing a tentative smile in the mirror as we brush our teeth side by side.

The night passes slowly for me, with Malachi breathing easy beside me. We don't touch, we don't snuggle, he doesn't even lay his arm over my waist. He keeps his respectful distance and my heart winces at the proverbial chasm between us.

There are so many words swarming around in my head that I want to say to him, but we remain silent. We don't even speak about the kiss we shared earlier. Does it fill his mind as much as it does mine? Can he still taste my lips on his the way I taste his, the silky caress replaying over and over, as if his very touch is imprinted on me forever now. I hold on to the memory of his arms around me tightly even though in reality I only feel the slight warmth of his body lying a few feet from me. It practically taunts me with how out of reach it now seems. He is the Alpha. And though I understand all about that title and rank, it is like Malachi is from a completely different world to me.