The Devil on Our Backs*Matt Murdock*Daredevil x The Flash* Damned*

14) Blind spot

Vera woke up to an angsty-looking Matt sitting by her bed instead of sleeping in his own, clearly going full martyr on her.

She had slept a dreamless sleep to her relief and seeing guilty Matt was enough to crack her neutral mood and push it towards annoyance. He breathed in when he noticed her watching, but she was faster.

"Try me, Murdock. I just had a nice nap and I'm in a relatively good mood. So, try me," she grumbled, challenging him.

He took the hint, shutting his mouth, only for it to form an unhappy line, his kicked puppy eyes still somewhat on her. Vera yawned, rubbing her sleepy eyes with the heels of her hands – she realized she still had bandages on them only when they made contact with her eyelids.

"Huh." Whatever pain-killers they had pumped into her, they were very effective.

Matt still didn't say a word and Vera spared another glance at him. He seemed... restless, straining himself from doing something, itching with need. Vera was confident she knew him at this point and she knew exactly what was on his mind. She sighed.

"Okay, Matt. Okay. Say it," she nudged him softly, his shoulders slumping at the quiet plea.

"I'm so sorry," he creaked, tears glistering in his eyes as if on command and Vera's heart clenched.

Yeah, she had a very shitty past few days. Yes, his martyrdom was bordering with Jesus' himself. But she understood, kinda. She was aware he needed this.

She took a deep breath, bracing herself for a speech, her mind racing with the effort of let her feeling into words so they would come out the right way. Her bandaged hand brushed over his clenched fist; he blinked in surprise at the gesture. Oh Matty.

"I know you are, Matt. This is... it sucks, okay? But it's done. It happened. I'll probably never forget this. I might be looking over my shoulder for a while, looking for the actual Devil being on my back. But—our friends took care of it. You took care of it-"

He snorted at that, a sound dripping with irony and self-hatred. Vera paid it no mind and continued.

"-and it's okay."

"Don't," he interrupted her, perhaps a bit harshly. She winced at the sound and his voice immediately softened. "I heard you, Vera. I heard you scream, I heard what you... told Terri. Don't you dare to pretend you're okay."

Vera gritted her teeth, an unpleasant and yet so relieving memory of spilling all of her feelings and worries to Terri returning in colours.

"Good. Then you know I got a lot of things out," she hissed, pushing herself to sit up straight. "Yeah, I'm not okay. Shit, I'm so far from okay I didn't know was possible. But I'm not you. I'm not gonna tell you I'm fine, I never said that. I said that it's okay. And eventually... I'm gonna be okay too. Not perfect. Just... okay."

An indefinable sound left his lips, something between a whimper and a growl and Vera was honestly shocked he still could express himself in a way she hadn't seen or heard before. Not that this display of his emotions was very descriptive.

She bit her lip. Time for the grand finale. She gulped and for her own benefit, she looked right into his eyes – still glassy.

"And I know you might not believe me, but try to believe my heart. I'm not lying. I did some stupid things when he had me, said things that... probably antagonized him-" Vera whispered, lump growing in her throat at the memories, the cold fear and rage coiling her guts. She quickly shook it off and raised her hand to stop Matt from protesting against her words. "Yes, my connection to you... it sure as hell played a part of what happened. But guess what, Murdock..."