Desire || Harry Styles & Ashton Irwin fanfiction

2.3

ISS is going to kill me. It's only been one day and we have been shoved into little black cubicles with stools that are taller then our desks. Nothing to lean on. I could feel my back turning into a hunch back by the second and my mind was beginning to go insane.

My thoughts were non stop about Harry and Ashton. People were staring at me as I was being dragged down the hallway. The messages and hate I've been receiving on social media seemed to be getting to me also.

Memories flash through my mind. My breathing grew louder and I become dizzy. My heart raced and my stomach was in notches. I was sick from last night. Nicole and my Dad got a phone call and I got bashed at home. The memory felt like a knife was being stabbed into my heart and being twisted a couple times every time the memory replayed.

"I'm ashamed to be called your father!"

"Your becoming an embarrassment."

A hand was sent across my face and faint cries of my little brother in the background echoed softly. My dad throwing things around the living room then a glass trinket was sent across the room hitting me straight in the eye.

Suddenly I was on the ground with bruises and black eye. Blood was running down my forehead and into my eye.

"Please stop!" I begged falling off the stool and on my back. The ISS teacher ran to me and kneeled onto the ground next to me as the memories feel like they were happening on repeat.

"Jess! Jess!! Look at me your ok! Wake up Jess!"

My eyes open to see the ISS teacher gripping my wrists shaking me back to reality. My eyes shift around the room. Suddenly the fluorescent light flickered for a faint second.

I began to shake uncontrollably my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I was out.

-

A bright light shinned through a window and shimmered through the curtains. There were beige curtains and through the crack of the curtains I could see tall buildings. I think I'm in an apartment. It seemed to be a beautiful day. But it wasn't home. It was a big city that seemed to be Dallas.

I sand up off of the flower print couch and look down to see I had a cigarette in my left hand and I was wearing skater shorts and a crop top. I took a drag of the cigarette that I would have assumed to be mine and threw open the beige curtains. It was Dallas.

"Hey Jess you ok?" I whipped around to see Kara standing in the doorway of what seemed to be her room. Her hair was longer but it was bleached then dyed again to make it a sliver color. She was also wearing a crop top but with high waisted shorts and black combat boots.

"Uh ummm I'm j-just not sure..."

She took a few steps out of the room and pulled a pack of cigarette box out of her back pocket and put it between her teeth and laid the box on a clear table next to the floral print couch I had just been laying on.

"It wasn't your fault! It's been three years. Please I miss the old Jess..." Kara walked towards me and grabbed my arms and gripped them tight.

"W-what are you talking about?" I exclaimed feeling highly confused. Kara looked at me puzzled then let go of my wrists and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Harrys death Jess.... It's the anniversary?" Kara looked at me with worried eyes then lit her cigarette and took a drag.

"H-Harrys dead?" I whispered in a shaky voice dropping my cigarette on the dark wooden floor. My eyes grew teary and my heart dropped to my stomach.

"Please don't try blocking it out again Jess... Remember senior year? Remember what happened when you tried to forget about it? You got sent to the mental hospital." Kara voice was soft and worried.

"Kara... I-I don't remember..." I mumbled.

My eyes opened slowly and I was in the nurses office at the High school. It was a dream? I was still trying to grasp what I had just imagined in my slumber of uncontrollable visions.

I slowly looked around to see I was on a a small leather lay out thingy. The nurse walked up to me and leaned over me and petted my head.

"Jess.... We think you might have had a panic attack."

~~~

I feel like I just confused a lot of you but hey figure it the fuck out.