An Arranged Affair

chapter 47 - burnt bridges

Victoria's pov

It hurt.

Everything hurt.

My joints, my leg, my arms, my entire body felt like a rusted machine.

My throat burned and my eyes stung.

And I hadn't even opened my eyes yet.

I didn't want to, I was safe and warm, in my comfy bed and everything that had happened was a dream, a terrible nightmare.

But I knew in my heart that it wasn't.

My heart was sore, the space in my chest where my heart should have been was replaced with this heavy ache, and as I remembered what had happened, what I saw in his office, I felt sick to my stomach.

Slowly I opened my eyes and blinked hard as I was met with harsh bright daylight.

The sound of the vitals machine beeped and was a tube sticking out of my arm.

What happened? I thought to myself and as I tried to sit up, my head spun and I lay back down on the pillows.

I remember running, I ran so hard as if I could run from what had happened, yet it had and there was nothing I could do about it.

I remember falling and getting back up, ignoring the pain, the pain in my heart so much more stronger.

I remembered stepping off the path and running directionless into the woods. I didn't care where was going, just that I wanted to get away.

I remembered collapsing under a huge tree, unable to run anymore, slumping against the tree and collapsing by its roots, as if by some irrational reasoning, by baring my pain there the old tree would carry some of my burden.

I remembered it getting very cold, and the rain coming down hard and getting soaked through. I must have slept. I'm not sure if I had but I must have.

I vaguely remembered the sound of dogs and the shouts of people.

I had snippets of memories of being carried unto the mansion.

I kind of remembered the warm arms that held me as I slept.

But I remembered it vividly, the office, the naked woman on Phillip and where his hands where on her body, I vividly remembered the lipstick smear on his shirt.

He had said he loved me. He loved me. He had said those words " I love you".

Any other day I think I would have given my soul to hear those words from him.

Bit on that day, after what I saw, it was like a slap to the face.

Oh shit - I had slapped him!

I blinked my eyes and tears fell down again and the strangest thought passed my mind.

Maybe I should go pee. I must not have gone to the bathroom in ages and I didn't want to wet the bed, but as I lifted the covers I noticed that I was in a clean night dress and there was a tube coming out of my pee hole.

What the fuck had happened to me and a wave of nausea passed over me. Was it Phillip who had undressed me?

" Victoria honey, you're awake! I was starting to get worried!" Martha came in quietly. " you've been asleep for almost two days!"

" what happened?" I managed to croak out.

" here sip on this,' she said handing me a glass of juice with a straw and after I took a few sips and she was satisfied that I was ok she started talking again. " you passed out in the woods after your marathon escapade. It took ages to find you but at least you are here and safe."

"My clothes?"

She bust out laughing. " don't worry honey, I undressed you and put you in some clean clothes, Dr Brown came in and checked you over that night but came back the next morning when you hadn't woken and put in a catheter. When you are ready we can take it out and the drip too."

'You can do that?"

" yes honey, I was almost a nurse in another life, but I got pregnant with my first child and my life changed. There wasn't so much support for single mums back then."

I sipped on my juice some more and I must have been staring into space.

' he didn't leave your side the entire time you know." She said. ' he swore to be me he didn't do it and I for one believe him. He is many things, but he is not a liar. He's had some things to attend to that couldn't wait any longer but he will be back soon."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I had seen what I had seen, and as much as I trusted Martha, I trusted myself even more.

Martha spent the next half an hour fussing over me, making sure I ate a huge breakfast, fruit and lots of very sweet juice.

' your blood glucose will be very low and I don't need you passing out when you get up." She fussed and I couldn't help but to think how much I had come to depend on this woman over the past few months.

" now I haven't told your parents yet, we weren't sure if it was something you wanted them to know." She said as she helped me up.

I thought for a while. I wanted so much to go home right now, but with Papa's health the way it was, it would just be more stress on him. I didn't even what to think what Mumma would say.

" no, they would just worry unnecessarily. Papa is not well and mum is a chronic worrier." I said as we walked slowly to the bathroom. Martha had already made quick work of the dripline and a small band aid now covered the small needle puncture mark. " I just want to get this tube out of me and have a good shower. I feel yuck all over."

I didn't know what to feel when I saw him as I stepped out of the dressing room.

He was holding the biggest bunch of flowers you could imagine, but he wasn't smiling, he looked anxious. There were bags under his eyes and it looked like he hadn't shaved in ages. Although his clothes were perfect as ever, his hair was unkempt and he wasn't wearing any cologne as usual.

I looked and stared, the feeling of rage filling up inside me, how dare he, how could he show his face after getting caught. I regretted everything, every moment I had spent with him. I was beyond hurt. It was so hurt, so angry, so betrayed that I was almost numb.

I didn't say anything to him, I just turned and grabbed a handful of my clothes, then marched right past him, down the hallway to an empty room and threw my stuff on the bed.

"Victoria please! Hear me out!" he pleaded as he followed me but I ignored him and went back for another lot of clothes.

" wait! Please, just let me talk to you, let me explain!"

I threw the clothes on the bed.

"Explain? Tell me Mr Maholtra, what is there to explain?' I screamed at him. ' No, you listen to me!" I yelled as I pointed a finger in his face. " From this day I will not talk to you, I will not eat at the same table as you, I don't even want to breath the same air as you. When we leave this place we will act like everything is normal but that is were that ends. I don't want to be anywhere near you, I don't want you!" I yelled and screamed, I wouldn't let him hurt me anymore.

'Please don't do this , don't shut me out." He pleaded, grabbing my shoulders, trying to make me look at him, but I didn't and turned my head away.

' Just leave me alone Mr. Malhotra. As soon as I graduate and get a job we can discuss reimbursement for my living expenses here."

" is everything ok here?" Stanford asked, his face expressionless but Martha behind her had tear filled eyes and had her hands covering her mouth.

' Yes Stanford, Mr. Malhotra and I were just discussing our new living arrangements. I will need to have the rest of my belongings moved here."

" yes Ma'am. Dr Brown will be here to see you soon."

" thanks Stanford, you can send her up when she gets here."

I walked past Phillip to start moving my clothes to the closet when he grabbed my arm hard.

" I will find a way to prove to you that I am innocent." He said glaring at me, I couldn't fathom what I was in his eyes, they were both angry and sad at the same time.

But I couldn't say anything, I didn't know how to respond so I just yanked my arm out of his hand and went back to sorting my clothes and as he walked away slowly and I let out a deep breath.

' aww honey, are you sure that this is what you want? you two are so good togeather!" Martha came up to me and pulled me into deep hug.

' Martha I don't know what I want anymore!" I wailed as I buried my head into her shoulder and let my emotions run free. "Love is not supposed to be this hard! Why was I not enough for him?"