Lost Boys

• Chapter 16 •

Grey

Shit, shit, shit, shit.
What have I done?

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, looking at the ground. Why the hell did I do that? I don't even like Theo like that. I don't like boys like that. What the fuck is wrong with me? This can't be happening.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Paige asked, running up to me with Autumn by her side. My misty brown eyes snapped in their direction, sacred. I didn't want them to see me. "I saw Theo runoff. What happened?"

"I-" I broke. Tears slipped past the cradles that were my eyes as they slid down my skin exposing my pale skin. Ugly sobs escaped my parted lips and my hand immediately covered my mouth trying to stop it. Autumn immediately ran up to me wrapping me in a hug and looked at Paige with a nod. Paige ran in the direction Theo went to.

"Hey, it's okay," she said, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "It's okay, everything will fine."

"No, it won't be," I yelled, pulling away from her. I furiously wiped away the tears from my eyes as I stared at my hands in guilt. "I ruined everything. I always ruin everything. Maybe I deserve it."

"Deserve what, Grey?" She asked, taking in a breath.

Pain.

"Nothing," I mumbled, tears blurring my vision. "I think I just lost him,"

"What happened? I'm telling you he'll be-"

"I kissed him." There. I said it. It was out in the open. Shit.

"Oh," she mumbled, looking up at me with sad eyes. "Oh my god, Grey. Come here." She pulled me into a hug and I buried my head into her shoulder letting the tears fall. I didn't wrap my arms around her. I felt numb. Emotions make you weaker.

I should have known not to get too close. I don't deserve good people. I don't deserve Theo. I only deserve pain. The pain of loss, the pain of torture, the pain of abuse.

Just pain.

That was the only thing I'm worthy of. Nobody should like me. I don't deserve to be loved. I'll only ruin everything.

"Hey, look at me," she said, lifting my chin to meet her gaze. "It's okay. It's okay to like him,"

"No, it's not," I muttered angrily, grabbing fistfuls of my hair. "I can't. I'm not. I don't want to," my voice cracked and tears started rolling off my cheeks. I felt bile rushing up my stomach, my knees buckled and I fell to the ground. I threw up. The mask that I had made for myself, the one I hid behind my whole life just shattered. My emotions were now out in the world where everyone could see them. I vulnerable, the one word I hoped I would never have to be again.

I should have never peaked through the façade. I should have never tried to get rid of it once because now it was gone and I was vulnerable again. I was hurt again.

Fuck.

"Oh my god, Grey." Autumn cried, running over to help me up. I couldn't stop throwing up. My body was failing me and so was my mind. I felt her hand make contact with my back and I flinched. My eyes met Autumns and I could sense the worry in them.

"Go away," I mumbled, using the back of my hand to wipe my lips.

"Grey, I-"

"Go away," I yelled, my voice cracking. She tried to come next to be out I pushed her away. I ran. My feet pattered against the cement floor as I ran away as far as I could from everyone.

Tears fell freely down my face as I ran into the night. The weight in my heart was more than anything I'd ever felt. I cursed under my breath as tripped over something on the pavement. My hands scraped the floor, my breaths heavy and fast.

My sobs filled the quietness of the night as my hair fell across my eyes. A light drizzle of rain spread through the path. Soon the drizzle turned to rain than thunder. But I didn't move. I pushed my back against a wall and pulled my knees up to my chest. I buried my face between my knees and just let the tears flow.

"Hey, kiddo! You okay back there," someone yelled, even though his words would sound like he was worried his tone was more annoyed. I lifted my head and nodded. The man sent me a quick nod as he walked away from me.

I guess he didn't really care considering he just left a crying teenager, on the sidewalk in the middle of the night, drenched in water, without any help. Honestly, I didn't mind. I was kinda glad he left me alone.

The rain was replaced by harsh winds. My teeth clattered against each other as I shivered in the cold. My damp clothes stuck to my skin as the water dripped from my hair. I raked a frustrated hand through my messy hair, pushing it away from my face.

I took in a shaky breath as I got up from my spot. I wrapped my hands over my chest trying to keep warm.

The journey back to my house was painful, mainly due to the terrible cold but also because of the awful feeling in my stomach that I messed everything up. I lost my way a few times but in around 20 minutes I was home. I was about to open the door but decided that it wouldn't be a good idea to walk in soaked in water at midnight.

So, I started walking in the opposite direction towards my favourite restaurant. I pushed open the door and was immediately greeted by the soothing smell of freshly baked goods. Warmth filled my body as I walked in. It felt like home. I took off my wet coat hanging on the little hook and took my usual seat next to the fire.

"Grey, what happened to you?" Mrs Thomas asked, concern lacing her voice. Mr and Mrs Thomas own the restaurant and since I was a usual customer I know the two of them pretty well.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just caught up in some rain." I said, trying to smile at her. She narrowed her eyes at me. I knew didn't believe my lie but she asked no questions, which I was grateful for.

"What can I get you, Grey?" She asked, with a warm smile as she sat down in the seat beside me. "On the house,"

"A cup of coffee would be nice," I said, rubbing my hands together. A small smile was placed on her lips as she pushed herself off the seat.

"On coffee coming right up." She sang, chuckling lightly to herself. "You can stay for as long as you want, dear,"

I bit my lip trying not to cry as I looked up at her. Her warm hazel eyes were the most welcoming thing I have seen in days.

"Thank you, Mrs Thomas."

Welp.
Thank you for reading!