happy virus | junkyu

07

07 : sorrys & crave

"Iniiwasan mo ba ako?" Junkyu suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Nahigit ko ang hininga ko nang maalala ko ang nangyari nung nakaraang linggo.

Yes. A fucking week has passed, pero sariwa pa rin sa'kin ang nangyari na parang kahapon lang niya ako hinalikan!

Why am I overthinking this?! Hinalikan niya naman ako noon, diba!

"Ano pinagsasasabi mo?" Masungit kong sabi habang kumakain ng chichirya, ignoring my inside thoughts.

"Isang linggo mo na akong hindi kinakausap." Pagrereklamo niya.

Umalis na ako. At iniwan siya do'n. Naiinis ako sakanya. I mean, sino bang matinong tao ang hindi maiilang pakatapos niya akong halikan?! Ginagago niya ata ako.

I could hear footsteps near me, I know he's following me.

"Yuna—"

He grabbed my arm, pero kaagad ko 'yon binawi.

"Fuck you." I whispered, sana narinig niya.

I was about to start walking away again when he spoke again.

"I'm sorry." I heard him said. I rolled my eyes.

I was about to leave again, when he grabbed my arm.

"I'm sorry." He repeated.

"I know your sorry." I paused for a bit, trying to decide if I should even talk. "But why are you being insensitive and acting innocent about my feelings? Nailang at naiilang pa rin ako sa nangyari, okay? I don't even know why I'm overreacting! Kasi, hinalikan mo naman ako dati. But now... It's different..." Napabuga ako ng hangin. And my mind decided to talk.

It's different because... it's having an effect on me...

Pero medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko nang masabi ko na lahat ng nasa loob ko. Nakakainis kasi. I don't know if he's teasing me because of the kiss or he's just being casual and really don't know why I'm acting like this.

"Yuna—"

"I'm sorry." I said then walked out.

I can't believe myself. Sana hinayaan ko na lang. Ang awkward tuloy.

But at the same time, he needed to hear that... But my conscience is consuming me.

So, I did the most logical thing to do. I texted him.

Junkyu

10:40 AM