(girlxgirl) Not All Roses in Roselake

Chapter 13: I Think She's Beautiful

Chapter 13 – I Think She's Beautiful

We walked down to Delicious Café for the last time. Not a word was said as we got our food. Not until we sat down in that alley way in Roselake. She started crying first and then I did. We both held each other and then she kissed me. And then I kissed her back. We cried even more. We knew there wasn't a solution to this. No way to fix it or way around it. This was it. This was the end. And we were sitting there in that alley way realizing it.

"I love you Alyssa." "I love you too Amber." As much I was mad at her and just absolutely hated her for leaving me and just choosing her career over me. I could see the pain her eyes and the true conflict going on inside of her. I knew she really loved me too. She was just too much of a coward to let others know that. I kissed her again and she held me in her arms. "You're perfect Miss Barron. I'm sorry I let you down." "I can't believe this is it you know? This is the end." "Nor can I. When did you think it was going to? You know end?" Her voice cracked. I stuttered. "I didn't think it was going to end." She sniffled: "I didn't think it was going to either."

We broke up at Roselake that day. In between the purple and beige walls of the fake buildings, grey cobblestone road and doors that led to nowhere of this old set no one ever seem to have found. I bawled my eyes out in the bathroom when I got home. It was the only place I could be alone. Gunnar, Nico and Robbie watched me sniffle around the house teary eyed. "I'm just missing everybody from the movie you know? It was the last day so I'm pretty emotional." "You're going to see them again! It's not like they're leaving the planet. And you have the premiere of the movie coming up anyways." "But then after that. They're all gone."

Gunnar tried comforting me and so did Nico and Robbie even latched onto my foot. I cried even harder. "What's going on Alyssa? I feel like this is something more than the movie." "Oh you bet." I joked in between tears. "Oh you always joke when you're upset! That's how we know you're upset!" Gunnar laughed. "Oh you guys know me so well." But it only made me cry even more.

"Amber and I broke up. She's moving to New York to model and she also refuses to tell anyone we were together. So yeah. We broke up." Gunnar brought me closer to him. "I'm gay. You guys. And before you ask what I want to do for dinner. No, I do not want to eat out!" I joked yet they only hugged me tighter. "I knew right away when this Amber girl showed up." Gunnar stated. "Because I looked at her the way I was supposed to look at Wes?" "Because I could see you guys kissing on the porch. You know the windows lead out to there." He joked and I chuckled.

"I saw the way you guys acted around at each other when we were at the beach." Nico added. "You guys were snuggling when we watched SpongeBob!" Robbie shouted. "And you didn't want to tell me you all knew?" I chuckled. "If you weren't bringing it up you clearly weren't ready." Said Gunnar. "And look I'm sorry about Amber. She's a jerk." "Yeah. She's terrible." "Yeah! A big fat meanie!" Robbie yelled and I couldn't help but chuckle.

I went into English class one day that week and took a seat next to Wes, Vince and Dimitri. Like I always did. It just so happened we were talking about Mercutio and Romeo in Romeo and Juliet. Mercutio was Romeo's best friend. But there are so many gay undertones with their relationship. That Mercutio had a crush on Romeo. He's even teased about his sexuality. So our English teacher thought prompting a discussion on gay undertones in literature would be a good idea. "Why do you think Mercutio joked all the time? And even joked about his sexuality. And why he got so angry when people called him that." Our teacher asked. "Because he was uncomfortable about it. I mean even in today's social people still do that. When someone calls someone gay it's like an insult." Lucas raised his hand and answered. "I mean our society is indeed progressing very good Lucas, but there is still that undertone of hate still prevalent."