Ουπς! Αυτή η εικόνα δεν ακολουθεί τους κανόνες περιεχομένου. Για να συνεχίσεις με την δημοσίευση, παρακαλώ αφαίρεσε την ή ανέβασε διαφορετική εικόνα.
march 18 2016
a ring was heard in the lee family's living room. haechan was the only one home as he had just come home from vocal practice. he groaned as he dragged his feet behind him, forcing himself to get to the door. as his hand wrapped itself on the handle, the door swung open. nobody was there. haechan sighed, looking down on instinct. there he saw the box. it was a lavender box, with a paper taped on the side.
for donghyuck
it read. haechan knew immediately who it was from. who else called him donghyuck and had handwriting that was barely readable? haechan picked up the box and continued to peek outside the house more. his heart pounded inside of his ribcage. he hoped that he would see a familiar face. he lingered outside of the door for a while. he didn't know why really. instead, he was met with the rain. haechan looked up to face the wet tears of the clouds. it had decided to pour out of nowhere, soaking haechan in the process. after regaining his senses, the rain-drenched boy ran back inside his humble abode. luckily the box had not been touched.
haechan placed the box on his nightstand, grabbing some clothes from the drawer across it to change. haechan threw a dry towel on his head after he had changed to some joggers and a white shirt. he let the towel soak up the water on his head as he sat down on his bed. he looked at the box. it was a shoe box. the brand steve madden written in gold on the side.
the box seemed to pierce right into his heart. haechan leaned over and put the box on his lap. his hand fumbled with lid. he didn't know whether to open it or not. who knows what secrets it held, wishing to be set free.
finally, he pulled through. he lifted the lid off the box, revealing the dark secrets it held all these years. haechan's eyes widened. it was filled with old photos, all with the years it was taken. haechan picked up a photo. he recognized this photo, it was him and giana. he could easily point her out. this time, her face wasn't scribbled out. his arms were wrapped around her shoulders as her head was tilted to the side. her smile was still the same.
haechan skimmed through all of the photos. everything that giana had of them when they were younger when they were in another life. they were all there. flashes of memories hurt haechan's brain. from the small touches to the loud laughs, he felt it all. everything he forgot about his past life slowly seemed to touch his brain. it was an ethereal experience. he remembered the flowers, the swing, the cherry blossoms, the rain.
as he placed the last photo on the bed, there was a bulky stack of papers. it seemed like they were folded together in a hurry leaving it to be quickly placed under the stack of memories. haechan unfolded the letter, and shock came to him as the handwriting looked almost unfamiliar.
dear donghyuck,
or should i say haechan? isn't that who you are now? hahaha. anyway. i was up late last night wondering about you. no matter how much i tried to convince myself that you would come back and apologize, you didn't. i forgot that you were like that. even in your past life. you never apologized when you knew it wasn't your fault. and this time it isn't your fault. it's the worlds. and it's mine.
you were already living a good life being haechan. when you realized that you had a whole other life, i knew it was hard to accept. it was hard for me to accept too. that you were still alive and breathing, and walking around the earth when i just easily gave up on you. now i understood how you truly felt that day you walked away from me. i know that you don't want to disappoint anybody. and i could feel that you were in pain from choosing which person you wanted to be daily while you still didn't want to hurt anybody.
you wished to be donghyuck around me but desired to be haechan when i was no longer with you. and because i wanted you to be donghyuck so much, you forgot who haechan was. you lost touch with yourself. i hate that i'm the reason why you've become so lost.
you hated that you had to be two different people when you just wanted to be who you are. i'm at fault for creating a whole entire universe that you don't even know. i wished for you to be donghyuck because he was someone i once loved. he is someone who i will always love. but haechan, we live in two different worlds. i lost donghyuck a long time ago. i don't want to lose haechan in this life.
i know i have been holding you back from yourself. you so wished to be someone that i had already lost. you wished for the impossible. i wished that you were still donghyuck so much that i forgot to be grateful at what you had become. you grew up and became haechan. the boy with glowing skin and golden vocals. you deserve to be who you want to be. please do not let me hold you back.
i know i will forever hold onto the past. i will forever wish for you to be donghyuck, but i have come to accept the present and the future now. i know i can't live in the fantasy world of the past forever. i have to move on. and so do you. all this time i've made you grip on the bars of who you once were so i'm sorry for being a hypocrite because now i'm telling you to let go. i know that you already know who you are, but because you keep denying it you're having a hard time.
be who you are now because i know that no matter what, i'll always love you. either haechan or donghyuck, you'll always be here. right inside the pocket of my heart. you're my best friend and the love of my life. my soulmate. my sunshine. it'll always be you. no matter who you are.
i thank you for every moment of each life that we shared together. whether you remember them or not because i can remember them for the both of us. whether laughter or sadness, those moments shaped who i want to become. so haechan, be happy and smile. i'm setting you free of your duty as donghyuck. may donghyuck rest in peace.
(also those photos are for you to know who donghyuck was. he was a sweet boy and i hope you learn to love him as much as i did. please never try to be him, but please never forget him.)
for now, i'll have to say goodbye. this goodbye isn't forever, i hope you know that. this is goodbye because i have to go away for a little bit. you have already found yourself, but i haven't. i'm quite jealous of you haechan. this adventure has taught me that there is so much to learn about who i am myself. teaching you to become donghyuck has been mentally draining, and like you, i lost touch of myself. although my outcome was different. i still don't know who i am, compared to you. so i'm taking this time on my own to find myself, and love myself. i'll be back soon. i hope to see you soon.
remember i'm always with you. this red rope will tie me with you forever. this red rope ties us together forever.
don't miss me too much!
i love you, giana <3
haechan's tears retouched the already dried ones on the paper. yes, he knew that he was haechan now. it felt like the bricks on his shoulders were knocked down by a wrecking ball. haechan's body shook with sobs and he held the paper close to his chest. he hoped that the words that were written reached his heart. he wished the heart poured onto this paper would connect with his. and thankfully it did. it really did.
his tears were released with joy and thankfulness. mostly to giana. she had set him free from the chains of their past. although he was sad that he had disappointed her, he made sure to remember donghyuck in return. he knew he could never be the person that she held so dear to heart but he knew that in return he would remember him for her.
