Tend Towards

[F] The Liar

Who, with a word, can make the clouds seem like sunshine.

Jasper Catlow is a God. They say he's the God of Deceit, but he tells me he's not, so I believe him. He tells me he's normal like me, and I believe every syllable rolling from his tongue.

Mostly, I think, because I want to believe it. It's always been true that desire makes things real, at least in the fettered minds of us mortals, and denial is the best ward of the unwilling. 

What power, then, does the boy who tells lies really hold over the fools who believe them? An unshaking faith, a mountain unmoving, that looms over the valleys of unrest and towers over the seas of uncertainty. Fear, perhaps, is the monumental plinth upon which Jasper Catlow sits, like a king on a throne before his subjects - zealots - of belief.

When Jasper Catlow told me, once, in the glow of the amber embers by the bonfire, that the world was a beautiful place, that the stars shine for me and the things I've done, it was easier to believe him - to believe the glow behind his eyes and the soft, subtle tone to his voice - than to believe the salient shadows in the dark of the night outside the ring of fire - those shadows that screech in your mind and tell you the real lies with angel lips.

To tell me that the world was good, that I was good, that the voices which haunt the fringes of my sanity were wrong, to tell me these things and seem to mean them, that was the answer to the prayers of pain I held in the long, deep dark of the night. That was the fostering flame of love.

But true love is more than this. It is a lesson I never knew I needed to learn, but I have and I know. True love is much bigger than Jasper Catlow, much grander in stature and sweeter in sound. It is a two-edged blade that heals you while you cut yourself, a poison that feeds you, a drug that cures your desires. True love is the demon that takes control, that clenches your heart and your soul in ebon claws and grips your muscles in steel jaws which do not relent.

True love is believing the lies against your better judgement. Infatuation of the most imperial design, to love the boy who tells you lies. It is self defiant, it is voracious and consumes your inhibitions, your reason, your self-respect. 

True love is loving the liar who, with a word, can make the clouds seem like sunshine. To give yourself so selflessly, to taste the honey dripping from lying lips and restore the vestiges of hope you've abandoned, to feel good in the rains of his poison and feel free in the reigns of his deception, that is the real love.

It is only this kind of affection that can drive the mortal mind to madness which lies in waiting. It is this kind of love that poses the self against the oncoming storm, to face the torment of its desires in face of fear and challenge the ideals of belief - those terrible, scathing notions which burn the the individual alive at the stake before the depraved masses - with conviction and determination. With belief. With hope. With desire which burns brighter than the shadows of doubt and fear. 

It has always been true that desire makes things real, at least in the fettered minds of us mortals, and denial is the best ward of the unwilling. And thereupon Jasper Catlow sits, like a king on a throne above a monumental plinth of fear, and he extends a hand to me, inviting me to sit beside him.

Jasper Catlow, the liar who, with a word, turned the clouds into sunshine.

***

AN: This is... Well, it's a lot of things.

First and foremost, it's a piece of (sort-of) fanfiction based on a character by DavidLikesBigRobots in 'God Among Gods': Jasper Catlow is the God of Deception and people believe anything he says, no matter how ridiculous.

Secondly, this is my contest entry into WritingFury 's contest about redefining love, but, I don't necessarily think I brought anything new to the table.

Finally, this is my final piece on homosexuality for the month of June, in which we celebrate Pride unending. I think TRUE LOVE(tm) is love in the face of fear, and that love redefines it for a lot of people who do not agree. 

This is unrelated, but I really like that Taylor Swift song 'You Need to Calm Down'. I think it's slightly problematic, but I like it overall.

So, yeet, Peace Out, y'all.