Stay Awake With Me [Destiel, College!AU]

5. Family

Things started getting stressful for Cas just before Dean was planning on dragging him to Lawrence to meet his family. Things started going wrong when Cas stopped being able to afford things that he wanted. He wanted to buy a new string for Dean's weird as gold pendant, but he had no money to spend. He was out of money. Broke and in serious need of a job. The only problem was that no one seemed to be hiring and no jobs interested him. Naturally, the day Castiel realised that he was in trouble, he called his family. His mother wouldn't come to the phone so Cas was stuck talking to Raphael.

"Please, Raphael," Cas grumbled. 

"No Castiel. You left. Went all the way over there to get away from us."

"But I'm still family. I need help. Please just….. Put mum on the phone!" Cas sat down on his bed and stared at the blank wall opposite him.

"You're already dead to her Castiel. She's not going to help…." Raphael growled. "You took her husband's coat and abandoned her."

Cas rested his head against the wall and hung up, sighing and lobbing the phone. It crashed into the wall and the battery popped out. He rubbed at his head and literally crawled over to put the phone back together so he could message Dean.

Feeling a bit down. Want to go for a walk?

Sure Angel Boy. Meet you in the park in five.

Cas didn't bother slipping his feet into shoes. He just headed off, down the street in bare feet. He'd spent most of his childhood wandering around with no shoes on, so it wasn't too painful. Still, he was glad when he reached the grass. He massaged the muddy ground with his toes as he waited by the big tree near the pavilion.

Dean was soon jogging over to him, slightly out of breath. "What's up Cas?" he asked.

Cas shrugged. "It's nothing really… I just feel like some company…"

Dean grinned down at Castiel's bare feet and shook his head slowly. "Want to go back to mine?" a cheeky grin ruining his usual pout.

Cas went red. He was surprised that after all this time, Dean could still make him blush. "Let's walk slowly… And Dean? Can you talk to me about something?"

"What?" Dean raised an eyebrow and took Cas' hand.

Cas shrugged again. "Tell me a story…"

"Can I make up a story about those weird ass dreams you had?"

Cas laughed quietly and nodded.

Dean thought for a moment, making a clicking noise with his tongue. "Once upon a time..."

Cas rolled his eyes.

Dean squeezed his hand. "All stories begin with once upon a time, silly… Anyway, once upon a time…" and Dean began to tell the story of a broken man and an angel who put him back together. Dean fell silent after a while and kissed Cas' hand gently as they walked along. "The end."

Cas shuddered and smiled. Dean's story didn't quite fit in with his dreams, but it was still really nice. And, of course, Castiel had never fully explained his dreams. His stomach was still uneasy and he felt like crying, but he tried to convince himself that he didn't need his family. It hurt though… that they could so easily abandon him when he needed help. He kicked at a stone on the footpath with his bare foot. Stupid Raphael.

They walked the rest of the short distance in what would have been silence if Dean hadn't started to hum 'Highway to Hell'.

That night, lying in Dean's bed with strong arms wrapped around him, Cas tried to fall asleep. His mind, however, had a different idea and kept pressing thoughts of money and jobs into Castiel's head. Cas was restless. He was happily thinking of Dean's story one minute and freaking out about debts and college the next. He kept wriggling around and trying to think of other things, but it just didn't seem to work and he soon wanted to tear his hair out. When he finally drifted off to sleep, his mind was still on bank statements and money… specifically how much money it would take to keep him at college.

--

Someone was holding his head when he woke, running their fingers through his hair softly and whispering to him.

"It's okay, Cas," it was Dean. "Whatever you saw… it's gone now."

"What's going on?" Cas murmured, opening his eyes a crack and looking up at his boyfriend.

Dean pulled back, his hand holding Cas' hair from his face. "You don't remember?" Dean's voice was hoarse, as though he'd been shouting or crying. Or both.

Cas sat up. "There's something to remember?"

"I thought you were having some kind of fit, man! You were screaming and… and you tried to get out of bed and you looked so freaking scared! I –" Dean choked on his words and closed his eyes.

Castiel rested his hand on Dean's cheek. "I'm okay now," he said frowning in concern. "I guess I must have had a bad dream…"

"You think?!" Dean laughed in disbelief and took Cas' hand in his. "Please, Cas. Never do that again."

Cas tried to smile softly but it didn't quite work. "I don't know what I did…"
Dean pulled him back into a hug and kissed the top of his head.

Cas was scared. What could he have been dreaming of? Why couldn't he remember? He'd never seen Dean like this. So genuinely frightened. Dean was usually one of those people who hid things away, but he wasn't being like that now. He was letting Cas see everything.

Cas left Dean's house early the next morning to search for a job. Nowhere was hiring. He couldn't even get a few shifts and the café! He sat down on a bench outside Subway and put his head in his hands. He'd have to leave… give up his education. He wouldn't be able to keep going at the college. He'd probably have to go back home. Not that it was much of a home really… and they probably wouldn't take him back. He huffed in frustration and leant back, staring up at the blue sky. The wind was unbearably cold on his face, but it didn't get through his coat and he was glad for that. He kept trying for the next week, never once telling Dean what was going on. Dean would only worry and that wasn't going to help. Cas tried not to spend money, only buying the essentials. He felt horrible when Dean took him out and Cas let him pay for everything, but what else could he do? 

Dean didn't question it. Not once.


There was snow falling as Cas hopped into the back of the Impala. It all melted before it hit the ground, but it was still snow. Cas was in the back, Sam in the passenger seat, having used his long legs as an excuse and Dean, of course, was driving. They were headed for Kansas. Cas hadn't bought any Christmas presents yet and the guilt was eating at him. He couldn't afford anything. He hoped that no one got him anything. Cas had grumbled at Dean about going, pretended to be sick and faking one of what Dean had started referring to as 'his fits'. 

Dean wouldn't take no for an answer. "Do you have any other plans?" He asked, sounding wounded.

"No… but…"

"You are not spending Christmas alone Cas! Don't worry, my parents will love you!" naturally Dean thought that Cas was just nervous about meeting the family. It was better for Cas if that's what he thought.

So Cas was going to Lawrence with them.  And he was going to feel bad the whole time he was there. He'd had one more 'fit' the other day and Dean had freaked out for about an hour. Cas tried to assure him that he was okay, but nothing seemed to be able to calm him down.

"I touched your hand and you freaked out, Cas!" He had shouted at Castiel, who had been sinking in between two massive pillows. "That's not normal!"

As Cas rested his head against the cold car window, he thought about Dean yelling. He didn't like it. It wasn't right. Dean hadn't even been shouting at Cas…. He'd more been shouting at the world.

The engine thundered into life and ACDC started playing quietly. Dean had turned it down for Sam's benefit. 

Cas closed his eyes and hummed along quietly. Dean had forced him to listen to his music until the words were almost seared into his brain.

"So Cas… how come you're not with your family?" Sam asked turning his head around to look at Cas.

"I uh… I don't get along with them… We're not exactly close," Cas knew that he sounded grumpy and he saw Dean's eyebrows shoot up when he looked in the rear view mirror.

Sam turned back to the front and stayed quiet.

The car was warm and Cas knew the drive would be long, so he curled his feet up on the seat next to him and tried to get some sleep, praying that he would sleep in piece. 


"Cas," Dean was whispering in his ear, shaking him gently. "Cas it's time to go meet the folks…"

Cas groaned and rolled over, hugging the pillow to him. This is a comfortable car seat… he thought to himself before frowning and opening his eyes. He was in a bed. A very squishy bed. It smelt nice and clean and Dean was sitting next to him, smiling down with his twinkling eyes. "How long was I out?" Castiel mumbled.

"We got here at about 12am… and it's now 10 in the morning," Dean ran his hand through Cas' hair. "You had a good sleep."

Cas sighed and sat up. The room was small-ish and there was blue paint and a few sporting posters on the walls. He dragged himself out of the bed and smiled sheepishly at Dean. He tugged off his shirt and put a fresh one on. His hair was still a mess of waves and knots, but he couldn't have cared less. "Let's go then," he said as he yawned and took Dean's hand.

They traipsed out into the hallway and started down the stairs.

Dean kept a tight grip on Castiel's hand.

Naturally, Cas tripped over his own feet and stumbled down a few steps, yelping in surprise. He thudded as his feet slipped down the edges of the stairs and started stinging.

Dean grabbed his arm and held him still. "Don't worry angel boy," he whispered. "I'll catch you whenever you fall."

Cas held onto him as though he was the only thing that was stopping him from floating away. His heart stuttered in his chest and his ears went red. "You told them who I was, right?" Cas asked, suddenly very nervous about meeting Dean's parents.

Dean rubbed Cas on the back. "Yeah. They're cool with it. A bit surprised…. But they didn't freak or anything. And I just know that Mum's going to love you."

"Dean are you two gonna stop muttering to each other and come down here?" A loud, gruff voice echoed up to them. It wasn't a mean voice, but it was strong and Castiel had the feeling that the man who owned it could kick his ass pretty easily.

Cas started wobbling down the steps again. 

Dean didn't let go of his arm and kept Cas on his feet whenever it seemed as though he was going to topple over.

They padded out into the sitting room, hand in hand.

"Mum, Dad… This is my boyfriend... Cas," Dean was blushing now and squeezing Castiel's hand as though he was trying to squeeze the life out of it. Of course Dean would be scared. Telling his parents something like this was bound to be scary.

Cas hadn't had to do any of this. Anna had always known and his family? Well, they just simply didn't care. Castiel had so many siblings that he just blended in to the crowd. Even in his own home. That was why he had left. To be heard. To be seen. To do what he wanted in his life. "Hello," Cas' voice was shaky but he held out his hand and shook Mr Winchester's hand firmly.

"I'm John," he said, glancing at his son every few seconds. He had a smile in his eye. It was as if… well yeah, he was slightly freaked by Cas being a guy and all, but he was happy that his son was happy. He must be a good father. 

"And I'm Mary," Dean's mother beamed at both of them and swung the large metal spoon in her hands around in a circle. When Cas raised his eye brows, Mary's smile grew. "I'm making soup," she said and fastened the strings of her apron around her neck.  "And you," She pointed at the couple, "one of you is helping me."

Cas glanced at Dean.

"Rock, paper scissors?" Dean asked.

Cas sighed and nodded. 

They did best out of three after Dean lost the first round and in the end, it was Cas who was helping Mary cook lunch.

Dean smiled and patted him on the back, blushing and squeezing his hand lightly.

"Come on, Cas," Mary nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen.

Cas wandered in behind her, rolling up the sleeves of his black, button up shirt. He felt better with them rolled up anyway…

After organising what they were doing and getting to work, Mary started chatting. About simple things. Cas' family, his classes, his childhood and all those sorts of things. Then, once the soup was bubbling away in its pot, she put down her ladle thing and turned to him.

"How did you meet Dean?" She asked, smiling sweetly.

"Properly? Uhh…. He was walking Sam's dog in the park… The dog jumped on me…" Cas smiled slightly and chewed at his lip. He'd drawn his first picture of Dean that day. He hadn't meant it to be Dean…. Since then, he'd filled an entire sketch book with Dean and Dean related things. He'd even drawn that stupid car! "We just kept bumping into each other after that…"

"Take care of him for me," Mary all but whispered. "Dean needs someone to look out for him. He pretends that he doesn't, but I know that he does. He needs someone… and he's found you. You're not what his father and I were expecting, but I can see how happy he is. He has an almost manic twinkle in his eye and a spring in his step that I don't think I've ever seen in him. Don't let him lose it."

Cas took a shaky breath and nodded, leaning back against the cluttered kitchen counter. "I won't…" Cas' words didn't really come out, but Mary could see the shapes his lips formed and knew what he had said.

She scratched at her chin, leaving a small splodge of soup there. "Good," she said and turned down the heat on the stove before leaving.

Cas made to follow her but instead, headed out the front door.