Stay Awake With Me [Destiel, College!AU]

7. Night Terrors

They didn't manage to stay up all night though… well, Castiel didn't. They played a game of 'Sorry' and at one point actually dragged out the 'Twister'.  At 12am, Dean had flipped over the monopoly board and leant forward to kiss Cas.

"Merry Christmas," he said.

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck as they knelt on his bed. He held him close, trying to make the kiss last forever. When he finally pulled back, he yawned loudly and rubbed at his eyes. "Merry Christmas," he smiled sleepily.

Dean reached out and ruffled Cas' hair before running his fingers through his own.

They tried to set up a game of chess.

Cas rested back into the squishy pillows and tried to stay awake. He failed.


When he woke up and realised that he'd been sleeping, he sat up. Too fast. His head spun and his vision went blurry for a second. "Dean?" he said into the blurriness.

"Yeah, Cas?"

"Did I…. Was I….."

"Slept like a baby…" Dean was standing by the window, staring out into the frosty morning. He turned around and for a second Cas was afraid that he was going to collapse. He seemed a bit wobbly and he had dark shadows under his eyes. He grinned. The smile only just reached his eyes. They seemed kind of…. Flat…. As if the sparkle had been taken out of them. Cas hoped it wasn't gone forever.

"Merry Christmas," Cas said and half fell out of the bed.

"You've said that already."

Cas huffed and picked himself up off the floor. "I know, but it's actually Christmas day now…" he went over to his suitcase and rummaged around in the front pocket. He pulled out a large orange envelope at handing it over. "I made you something."

Dean opened the envelope and pulled out the two pieces of paper that were inside it. He looked through them, a smile slowly stretching from ear to ear.

Cas blushed. "I didn't know if you'd like it but…. It's the sort of thing I do…" he shrugged and looked down at his bare feet.

"I love it," Dean said softly. "When did you get the time?"

"Well… uh…. Let's just say I haven't been doing much work in class…" Cas smiled proudly.

"Well, I really, really love it…. Now, would you like your present?" Dean asked,

Cas tilted his head to the side in curiosity.

Dean slipped the papers back in the envelope and let it fall to the floor. He licked his lips and walked up to Cas, pushing him back onto the bed and taking him by surprise. He reached down under the bed and pulled out a small, square box which had been wrapped as though a car had run over it.

Cas took it from him hesitantly. It's probably better than that silly drawing, he thought. He tore away the Christmas themed paper to reveal a black painted, cardboard box. Inside the box, was another box. A smaller one that looked like it was for jewellery or something. It was. A small silver angel hanging on a black string. The angel was holding some sort of weapon in its hands and its wings almost looked like flames. The angel was carved into the inch wide circle of silver, the details so fine and yet the carving so deep. The engraving looked as though it had been traced over in black so that the image stood out. Cas loved it. He slipped it around his neck and looked down at it fondly. "Thank you…"

"You're welcome. I saw it and I thought of you… My angel…"

Blue eyes met green as Cas looked up. Dean was chewing on his lip nervously and scratching at his bare stomach. Cas reached out and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist, pulling his closer.

Dean tumbled forwards and clambered onto the bed, pushing Cas back and leaning in to kiss him.

Cas pushed himself back up and Dean made a whimpering sound. Castiel rolled his eyes and ran his hands through Dean's short hair, messing up its usual perfect state as he pushed Dean off.

Dean fell to the floor and landed with a grunt. He grabbed a shirt that hung over the back of a chair in the corner and tugged it over his head, readjusting his gold pendant.

Cas reached out awkwardly and grabbed a fluffy, dark green sweater from his suitcase. His pulled it on and moved his new silver angel so this it was on show.

Dean grabbed Cas by the hand and they headed out into the hallway. Soft music could be heard from up there. Instrumental Christmas carols echoing welcomingly throughout the house

Cas didn't fall down the stair this time, but only because Dean insisted on picking him up and refused to put him down until they were standing in front of the Christmas tree.
By about nine, everyone in the house was in the living room. It was warm and the smell of the tree was intoxicating. They all noticed Cas' necklace straight away and that started the present giving.

It turned out that John and Mary did buy Cas a present. It was a nice, plain blue tie. 

Castiel thanked them and tried not to show how guilty he felt. He sat close to Dean the whole time and smiled and wished his parents a Merry Christmas when he handed over their presents. He zoned out for a while, too caught up in hoping the present looked like it came from two people.

"Cas!" Sam was waving a hand in front of his face.

Cas jolted back into reality and smiled briefly and John and Mary who were inspecting some bottles of wine. He turned to Sam, who was holding a bag out to him. Cas looked at the jolly Santa picture and gulped. Inside the bag was a gigantic black sweater with white stitching on it in the shape of wings.

"Dean told me where your name comes from," Sam said. "I saw it in a shop window and I thought of you."

Cas traded one fluffy sweater for the other and smiled. People seemed to be thinking of him an awful lot lately. It was surprising… and unusual. His phone went off as Dean handed over 'their' present to him, surprising everyone with the loud ringtone.

MERRY CHRISTMAS CASSY!!!!!!!!!!! How are things with the BF and his parentals? XD

Merry Christmas Anna. Things are fine.

Don't lie to me.

I'm not lying!

Hmmm well, I hope you eat lots today and get fat! 

Cas didn't bother replying. He tucked his phone away and looked at the presents Sam was opening in curiosity. Cas had never really had this sort of thing, coming from a family as big as this. When they were younger, Cas and Anna had snuck off to the nearby playground, crawled into the tunnel and sat there, talking, eating candy canes and swapping a present.

After getting ready for the day, they all spent a while playing around with their new presents and Cas smiled at the scene before him. Sam was mucking around on the IPad his parents had bought him, Dean sat on the floor trying on a new watch and John and Mary were chatting excitedly. Cas just sat there in silence, trying to tie his new tie. He wasn't very good at it and eventually John saw that he was struggling and showed him how to do it.

Mary disappeared off into the kitchen after a while to prepare lunch. She seemed to enjoy spending time in the kitchen.

There was a loud knock on the door. John opened it and more people filed into the house, a man with a beard and cap, a young blonde girl and an older woman.

"Cas," Dean stood and reached out to take Castiel's hand. "This is Bobby," the man with the beard, "Jo," the girl, "and Ellen," the woman.

Cas nodded and committed their names to memory.

Jo gave Dean a big hug when she saw him and smiled knowingly at Cas. "It's nice to meet you, finally."

Cas blushed. Did Dean talk about him? "Nice to meet you too," he mumbled and rubbed at the back of his neck with his free hand.

Dean introduced Cas to Bobby and Ellen who both seemed quite surprised, but didn't say anything.

No one seemed to care very much that Dean was introducing them to his boyfriend.

Lunch was ready then and Cas felt guilt bubbling inside of him as he stared at the feast that had been laid out on the table. So much food. A turkey, fruit, sausages, delicious looking roast vegetables. Cas hadn't done anything to deserve this. He hadn't even bought presents. He sat down and ate the meal anyway. He listened to Dean and Jo as they laughed about something that happened when they were young and he enjoyed himself. Just listening to the stories and seeing Dean smile made him happy.

And then, all too quickly, it was time to sleep. Well, Cas wasn't planning on sleeping. He didn't want to scare Dean. So he got under the covers and wrapped his hand around the angel that hung around his neck, waiting for Dean to fall asleep. Once he was snoring away, Cas got up. He went over to the chair in the corner and sat there, resting his head against the cold window, trying to stay awake.


Dean never realised that Cas hadn't slept and Castiel was grateful. They left early that morning. Lots of hugs and kisses were exchanged. Even Cas was pulled into a strangling hug from John and Mary kissed him on the cheek, smiling sweetly.

Cas sat in the back of thee impala again, staring at the house as they drove away from it. He would have like to stay there. It was an escape from reality for him. He hadn't had to think about anything. He'd just sat there and enjoyed the people surrounding him. When they arrived back at the college, everything crashed back down on him. He slept in his own dorm that night. He wanted to be alone. It turned out that that wasn't the best of ideas. He had another 'nightmare'. It was the black ooze again, and a stranger walking towards him, trying to get to him.

Cas woke to Balthazar shaking him furiously. They were out in the hallway, half standing and half collapsed on the floor. "Balthazar? What just happened?" Cas asked, rubbing his eyes and sitting on the floor properly.

"You were having a night terror" Balthazar sighed in relief. "Tried to run away and everything."

"How long was I out?"

"Not long… I think I heard you come in about an hour ago…"

A night terror…. Anna used to get those when she was a kid… So naturally, upon hearing this, Castiel called Anna. It was one of those things that couldn't be talked about via texts.

"What's up?" Anna said as soon as she answered the phone as if she already knew something was wrong. When Cas stayed silent she continued in a more serious tone. "Castiel Novak. You never call me unless it's important. Now, tell me what's going on!"

Cas sat down at the untidy desk in his room. "Balthazar thinks I'm having night terrors…" his voice was shaky.

"Do you think he's right?"

Cas nodded before remembering that Anna couldn't see him. "Yes… Yes I do…"

"Have you talked to Dean about it?"

"No…"

"You should probably do that… I'd also suggest doing a bit of research," Anna said and hung up, obviously unhappy that her sleep had been disturbed.

Cas put the phone down and turned on his laptop. The screen was way too bright in the darkness, but his eyes adjusted. 

In the morning, Cas finally turned off his computer. His head was aching and his limbs felt heavy. You should have slept, you idiot. Castiel changed out of his pyjamas and into a pair of jeans. He tugged on the sweat Sam bought for him and walked bare-foot out of his dorm. He bumped into Balthazar and his friends on the way and had to let him know that he was alright. Balthazar was a good guy.

When he knocked on Dean's door, it was opened straight away, as though Dean had been waiting for him. Cas stumbled inside and sat on the back of the couch. "Dean… I uh…. I know what those nightmares are…" he said quietly.

Dean had obviously just come out of the shower. His hair was all wet and spiked up crazily and his white shirt had gone slightly see-through. It was sticking to him in ways that made Cas blush. "What are they?" he asked in a sleepy voice.

"Night terrors," Cas whispered.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed at them as though this was all a dream. When he opened them again, he looked down at Cas and sighed. "Maybe you should go buy some sleeping pills or something…" He sat down next to Castiel and wrapped his arm around the man's shoulders.

"I can't…"

"Why not?"

"I don't…. I don't have any money…"

Dean stayed silent for a while. He rubbed Cas' shoulder before moving his hand into Castiel's hair.

Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder. "It's why I didn't buy any presents…"

"You should have told me…. I could have given you money."

Cas' laugh came out as more of a… shaky breath. "Dean, you're a mechanic and you don't even get much work. You don't exactly make a fortune. I don't want your money.'

"You need help of some sort Cas…" Dean's voice was shaking slightly.

Castiel's heart panged with guilt. He was making Dean sad. You should have just kept your stupid mouth shut. "The only help I need, costs money. I'm not using your money I can't spend my own unless I give up my education. I'm not doing that. So, we just have to deal with it."

"You're not giving up sleep, Castiel."

Cas sat up properly. Dean never used his full name. "Dean I don't think I can go through it again…"

"You're not giving up sleep. I will spike your drinks to get you to sleep," Dean was serious… and angry. Before Cas could say anything, he pressed on. "I'm not taking my eyes off you from now on. You are grabbing your stuff and staying here. If you don't do that, then I'm staying in your dorm."

Cas looked down at his grubby bare feet. "You can't watch me all the time," his eyes were stinging with tears.

"Yes," Dean said, pulling Cas close. "I can… And I will."