Right By Your Side ~ Larry Stylinson

Chapter 21: Epilogue

"And as the mirror says we'r e older
I will not look the other way
You are my life, my love, my only
And that's the one thing that won't change"
Safteysuit

He couldn't sleep. Again.

It was 2am and he was tossing and turning in the dark, edgy and restless in the heat of what had been a scorching summer – his second summer here. The humidity had left him clammy and there was no breeze to give relief as there usually was of an evening. He was sticky and aching, but it was a good ache – an echo of what had taken place the night before.

He looked across at the boy sprawled beside him, lying on his back with his legs apart and arms flung above his head, his curls wild and his mouth hanging open. A soft snuffle escaped his lips on every exhale and Louis' mouth curved upward in a soft smile, his chest contracting and sending a familiar fluttering that felt like butterflies under his skin, rippling out toward his fingers and toes. He never would have believed he could love somebody so much that it was a physical, tangible thing he could feel inside him, but that's what it felt like with Harry.

Harry had given him more joy in the last two years than he could ever have hoped for and his love for this boy seemed unlimited in its capacity to grow daily, becoming deeper with each passing day as they built their life together piece by piece.

They had moved out of the house Harry had shared with Niall and Liam – where those two now lived with Zayn and Sophia – and into their own place, quickly turning it into a real home. The walls that they had painted a bright yellow with white edges, were covered with photos of their friends, family, and of the life they'd made together over the last twenty four months. They'd chosen the furnishings together and their belongings had gone from "yours and mine" to "ours" in an astonishingly short space of time.

He had got a job at a local high school, teaching drama and, interestingly, health studies, about four weeks after arriving and he loved the students and his colleagues – some of whom had become firm friends that he regularly spent time with outside work.

He was happy here with Harry, content with their life together – which made this restless melancholy he was feeling even harder to deal with. It was almost like a betrayal to feel the way he was feeling when they were so lucky to have each other, to have the life they had. And yet, he couldn't help it – all the happiness he felt was tinged with sadness right now, and he was trying desperately not to let it show. He didn't want Harry to be worried. It's not like he could do anything to help.

As he continued to gaze at his boy, eyes drinking in every inch of the body sprawled out in front of him, he felt a small shiver pass down his body as his thoughts drifted back to the night before – to the way Harry's mouth had felt on his skin, claiming every inch of him before sliding inside him and making him forget everything else, lost to anything but the feel of their bodies moving together. In that moment, nothing else had mattered. In that moment, he had been blissfully happy.

He slipped out of bed, not wanting to disturb Harry who had to work the next day, and wandered up the hallway to the kitchen, the cool tiles feeling heavenly to his hot feet. He flicked the small light on that sat over the stove, giving the room a soft glow and just enough light so it didn't hurt his eyes. He popped the kettle on as he yawned, weary beyond belief after several nights where sleep had eluded him. As he dunked the tea bag into his mug of boiling water, he stared off into space. He knew what the problem was of course, knew why he was feeling so glum.

His family had returned home five days ago after spending a month in Australia over Christmas and he was missing them. Being surrounded by his family for a whole month, had been so wonderful and he had loved every minute of sharing his new life with them. But the void left by their departure was palpable and he was struggling to re-adjust. He knew it would take time, and he knew he would return to normal – but right now he was feeling the loss keenly, and it was making him sad. He had also started thinking about what it may be like to have a family of his own, which was making him even more broody. He and Harry had talked about marriage and a family, but it had always been in an abstract "sometime in the future" sort of way – they hadn't really make any definite plans because they had been happy to take their time, but Louis found himself dwelling on it more and more.