Bittersweet Pt. 1

Chapter 8: An Explanation

Naris POV
The pain in my heart was becoming unbearable, it was flooding my entire body and I soon hit the point where I couldn't even walk so Jungkook hoisted me up on his back and carried me all the way home.

"Don't worry Nari, that guy has no idea what's he's losing, I've been there and trust me, he'll regret it in no time"

I ignored his words and continued to cry into his neck, the collar on his shirt was getting soaked but he didn't seem to care.

Once we reached the front door Jungkook still kept me on his back and I didn't even care to get off anyways.

I handed him my house keys and he opened the door, walking me to my room and laying me on the bed.

I covered myself with my blanket and turned my back towards Jungkook, crying into my pillow.

He just sat next to me rubbing my back, neither one of us saying a word to each other.

We were like that for what seemed like hours but was realistically a few minutes.

I finally cut the silence by asking him a question that I knew he could answer.

"What is it about me Jungkook that makes the men I love chest on me ?"

The hand that was rubbing my back came to a complete hault, he didn't answer for a few second but when he did he said, "it's nothing bad about you Nari, it's everything good."

I sat up on my bed, his hand moving from my back onto my shin.

"What does that even mean Jungkook ?"

"You're easy to love Nari, and on that note it's easy to get lost in that love", he removed his hand from my shin and turned his back to me, still sitting on the bed, "you start to fear losing your love and when you think it's happening you see black and that's where you lose yourself, you start doing things you'd never do, you become violent and impulsive."

I heard a sniffle come from him and I got on my knees and hugged him from behind while he continued to talk.

"You begin to question if you should even be together and get pissed off at the thought of you being with another man, it drives you crazy and it makes you controlling, just like how I didn't want you talking to any man but me, what if someone still you away ? I could stand the though of your lips on someone else, and when I'd think about it I'd see black and go crazy on you and everyone around me."

I could feel tears falling on my hands from his face, he's really getting choked up about this isn't he ?

"I'm truly sorry for what I've done to you in the past Nari, I never meant for you to get hurt I was just so scared to lose you, but I ended up losing you anyways"

Jungkook stood up and removed my arms from around his waist and faced me, cupping my face in his hands he said, "I'll do anything to get you back, but for now, I need you to forgive me first, I need you to know that I won't try anything, until you're ready or unless you're ready to move on from Youngjae"

"I don't think it's up to me to be over him anymore Jungkook, he's moved on from me now."

"Nari, when you get lost in love like I did, you do things impulsively, he's making the same mistake I did because he knows what it's like to love you and to have that fear of losing you."

"It sounds like you're saying it's my fault you guys did this for loving you too good or something ?"

"What ? No, Nari, he thinks he's losing you, just like I thought I was losing you and when I thought that I tried to hurt you before you could hurt me, don't you see the pattern ?"

Pattern ?

"So"..... I grabbed his hands and pulled them off of my face, "your saying that right now Youngjae is purposely trying to hurt me just out of fear of me possibly hurting him ? Are you fucking kidding me ?"

A look of oh shit appeared on Jungkooks face and he backed away from me.

"What kind of fucking sense does that make ?!"

I hopped off my bed and began walking up to Jungkook causing him to continue to back away from me.

"It doesn't make sense Nari ! That's why I'm saying he's making a mistake ! He's seeing black ! He's not realizing what he's doing and he won't realize it till it's too late !"

"Too late !?"

Jungkooks back his the wall and he was left with no where to go, "look Nari you're getting yourself riled up please calm down."

"Fuck off Jungkook you just told me that I was shattered to pieces by the two men I've loved in my life because they were too much of cowards to shake the thought of me possibly hurting them !"

"I know it's fucked up Nari and I'd take it back if I could but I-"

"No !"

I swung my hand and connected with his cheek, a slapping sound rang through my room.

"STOP TALKING NOW !!"

Jungkook rubbed his now red cheek

"I loved you ! And I loved Youngjae ! By apparently you guys didn't love me back ! You guys have no idea what love is !! you guys didn't even know me ! You DONT know me ! Because if you guys did, you wouldn't think I'd cheat or hurt you !"

Jungkook tried to come close and hold my hands but I pushed him away from me, making his back hit the wall once again.

"Don't touch me, and don't come near me !"

"Okay okay I'm sorry"

"I need air"

I grabbed my bag off my floor and left my house, getting inside my car I drove off to my spot of town where I can clear my mind.